The Women Of The Years Ahead
Admit it, we ALL know that 'N Sync is bound to get married one day. They're hot, they're rich and everyone wants them. So, in this section, we take a look at the future ladies of the members of 'N Sync.
Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick, June 15, 2015.
In a beautiful ceremony on top of the Empire State Building, Mr. Kirkpatrick married his true love, a woman that kept totally in touch with her heritage of Jamaican ancestors by having her hair coiffed in real Jamaican dredlocks. There was no veil on covering this beautiful lady's eyes on her one day of joy because there was nowhere to pin it on in her hair.
The now Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick fell in love early on, when they ended up sleeping next to each other in an airport and found that their dredlocks were intertwined. Love at first sight ensued, after their hair had been separated.
Mr. and Mrs. Chris Kirkpatrick did a bungee jump off of the Empire State Building following their ceremony because Mr. Kirkpatrick said it would be "crazy"
Please wish this happy couple good luck in the future and they request that when you visit, you always have a pair of scissors handy in order to avoid any dred mishaps.
Joseph Anthony Fatone Jr., February 14, 2003
Mr. Joseph Fatone wed Ms. Bambi Coconut yesterday in a gorgeous ceremony fit for the gods in Las Vegas, NV. The all-night priest was so touched by their union that he was quoted to say, "These two crazy kids are definetly in love. I predict that they'll last MORE than a year!!"
Ms. Coconut, now Mrs. Fatone, had a crowd of more than 50 of her fellow stage performers attend the ceremony as witnesses. The feathers on the guest's headpieces formed the tunnel for which the happy couple to walk down afterwards.
The couple requests that you send colored feathers and booze for their wedding presents. They plan on having "one HELL of a honeymoon.", after which Mrs. Fatone will return to work at the Luxor as a nightly entertainer. Wish this happy couple good luck!!
James Lance Bass, December 19, 2000
In what can only be described as a HOMY ceremony, Mr. Bass married his long-time sweetheart, Betty Sue Bass yesterday on his ranch-style spread in Mississippi. The wedding guests totaled more than 500, 150 of which were immediate family. The mother of the groom, Mrs. Bass is totally supportive of the now Mr. and Mrs. Bass. She went on record as saying, "My son is a big boy and if he wants to marry his cousin, I support him 100%!! After all, his daddy and I did it!!!"
The couple will be honeymooning in Tennessee, where they will spend 3 months of alone time on a ranch which was only described as having the name of "Toby".
Joshua Scott Chasez, May 31, 2023
In the great city of Houston, Texas, Mr. and Mrs. Josh Chasez, formally known as JC, entwined their lives and their bank accounts today in a small chapel on the lower east side of town. Mr. Chasez married Ms. Stacey Pardue as a mutual consention of convenience.
Her father was a bank president and she became a wealthy benefactor around town when he died tragically due to a freak accident in a routine liposuction procedure. Ms. Pardue took note of Mr. Chasez in a socialite party and the attraction was mutual. Their first date was to go to the bank and look at their money amounts. They agreed to marry each other on their second date when they took note that combined, their bank account totaled more than a billion dollars.
Their reception is going to be small and to the point, with only family invited, to "keep the cost down" as declared by the now Mrs. Chasez. There will be no honeymoon because it was too expensive for their tastes. The happy couple requests that all gifts be monetary and sent to the Altzoid Bank of Switzerland in the couple's name.
Justin Randall Timberlake, January 1, 2005
In a decisive move to Saudi Arabia, Mr. Timberlake, a former member of 'N Sync, married 10 of his former fans yesterday in a beautiful wedding at the mosque. There was a heartfelt reading of the Koran and then the now harem retreated to the Wailing Wall to pay their respects to Alla.
When asked why Mr. Timberlake felt it was necessary to move to Saudi Arabia to voice his vows of adoration, he replied, "Yo G Dawgs, what other country in the world is gonna let me marry more than ONE of these fly hunnies?" All ten of the now Mrs. Timberlakes, who respectively have the names of Britney, Veronica, Candy, Jami, Suzi, Micki, Sassy, Heather, Pammi and Peaches, expressed their love and adoration for Mr. Timberlake at the ceremony. They request that all wedding gifts be sent to their desert oasis building, addressed to Mr. Timberlake.
This section by: Starshine
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