DISCLAIMER: All characters from LAC belong completely and solely to Ellroy - I'm only borrowing them for awhile. I do not intend any copyright infringement of any kind, and can only hope that I do them justice. Thank you, Devil Dog, for creating characters so compelling that I couldn't let them go. Special thanks to Russell Crowe and Kim Basinger - when Bud and Lynn talk to me they will always be you.

Comments to: luminous1@angelfire.com




"Bisbee"
by Luminous 1

Chapter 1

Lynn stepped out onto the porch, coffee cup in hand. The chill in the air wasn't enough to deter her from enjoying the glorious sunrise over the Arizona desert. Thinking back to her life in Los Angeles she couldn't recall ever seeing the sun come up. She'd always been a late sleeper in L.A. - a hazard of the job. Lynn tried not to think too long or too hard about those years. If she concentrated on the here and now there was nothing more she could ask for, nothing more she needed than Bud, and her little house and her little store.

As if in response to her thoughts, she could hear Bud stirring inside. Difficult as it was, she forced herself to stay on the porch swing, gently swaying back and forth. She would not run in and coddle him or treat him like an invalid. That painful lesson had been learned early on, for her desire to help him and do for him had almost ended their relationship. Looking back, she knew Bud had been right, although his self-inflicted physical therapy had hurt her almost as much as it hurt him. He could walk slowly, and he had full use of both arms. His ability to speak was taking the longest to regenerate and Bud's anguish sometimes became unbearable. Lynn would see the muscles in his jaw clenching and his face would turn red as he tried to force his atrophied muscles to form the words he needed to speak. When it became too much to bear Bud would stagger away and Lynn would wait, and she'd pretend not to hear his sobs of frustration. Even so, she would think to herself, even so, he's everything I need.

Lost in her reverie, she didn't realize Bud was watching her through the screen door. She glanced up, startled, as the hinges squeaked softly when he stepped out. She smiled up at him, her heart catching just a little at his lopsided grin. "Good morning," she gestured to the empty side of the swing. "Hi," he responded and with just that word Lynn knew he'd had a good night's rest without much pain. He wasn't always so lucky.

She sipped her coffee, almost too cool to drink now, and gazed at the desert while he eased himself onto the swing. She knew he would think she was fussing over him if she watched him try to do anything. So many little land mines and eggshells to walk around, thanks to Dudley Smith and his gang of thugs. She had never known the man, but what Bud had been able to tell her had appalled her. Lynn still didn't know if it was Bud's injured body or his tortured soul that kept him from telling her everything. She could wait. They had forever, and waiting was easy for Lynn now.

Chapter 2

"This waiting is horrible!" Lynn told Bud. "I don't understand what's taking so long." Lynn instantly regretted her words. If it was hard for her to wait 3 hours while the yokel mechanic patched their radiator it had to be unbearable for Bud, with his mangled body forced upright in an uncomfortable diner chair. Their drive to Bisbee from Los Angeles had started out so well. They could only drive for a couple of hours at a time before Bud needed to get out of the car and rest, so the trip was going to take days instead of a few hours. Lynn enjoyed driving and the radio sounded fine so there was no big rush. Bud may not have thought her singing was as nice, but he was too much of a gentleman to complain. He just stretched out in the backseat and took his pain pills, dozing off when the medication kicked in. Lynn made sure he had plenty of water. She didn't think he was strong enough to withstand dehydration, and the desert could be one sneaky bastard, sucking the moisture right out of your flesh. Everything had been great, right up until the radiator started spraying steam and the car died on the edge of some skunky town called Banning. Lynn sighed and told herself she ought to be grateful they were actually in a town and not out in the desert itself, 'cause it would have been her dainty feet pounding down the highway for help. The image made her smile and Bud lay his huge left hand over both of hers where they rested on the table. "I'm sorry. I am just not a patient person." Bud's crooked smile acknowledged her character flaws. She pretended to glare at him for a moment then laughed out loud. This easiness between them still amazed her. She had been certain that nothing could possibly convince Bud to forgive her for Ed Exley, but he had made it clear that it was the past and unimportant. She didn't know all the details, but she did know that all of them, every single person, had been manipulated and used by Dudley Smith. She and Bud were lucky just to be alive, but she thanked God every single day that their love had survived as well.

Lynn's reverie was broken by a clammy hand gripping her bicep. She looked up, startled, and recognized the man at the other end of that arm. His name was Tony, and Pierce Patchett had sent him her way a few times when he was trying to impress some boys from back East. She'd finally told Pierce she wouldn't see Tony anymore because he'd started getting rough with her and wouldn't back down until he'd hurt her enough to make her cry. Tony hadn't come around again, but Pierce also hadn't received an offer to invest in any Las Vegas hotels. Lynn had shrugged it off as good riddance to bad rubbish, but the flotsam was back and squeezing her arm like a vise.

"Well, well, well...who we got here? If it isn't Veronica Lake's double and a cripple." The gleam in Tony's eye was mean and Lynn could see trouble coming.
"Hello, Tony. Please let go of my arm." Lynn stayed calm, even as Tony's fingers ground into her muscle.
"Sure thing, Veronica. You know, I'm a tit man, anyway." Tony released her arm only to grab her breast, squeezing viciously. Lynn tried to push his hand away, but he was too strong. He laughed as she tried to pull away from him.
"Hey Vincent," he called to his bodyguard "you remember Veronica don't you?" Lynn realized that Vince had moved behind her chair and had effectively blocked her only means of escape.
"Sure Tony, I remember her." Vince laughed, and as he pushed his crotch up against her back, Lynn realized that he had an erection.

Tony had his hands inside Lynn's blouse now and he wasn't gentle as he yanked down her bra and began fondling her breasts. The other diners, mostly rough trade, seemed more inclined to watch than help. The waitress started yelling for somebody to get their ass over there and help that poor lady but Tony just laughed.
"This 'aint no lady, sister! This is a fancy, cocksucking whore from Hollywood! I know because I paid for a piece of her ass when I was there. Let's show everybody what a cocksucking whore you really are, Veronica." Tony nodded to Vince who held Lynn's arms behind her as Tony grabbed her blouse and ripped it open, exposing her to everyone in the diner. He pinched her nipples hard enough to make her eyes water, then unzipped his pants and pulled out his erect penis.
"Remember this, baby? The best you ever had. I'm gonna let you have it again, for old time's sake." Tony gripped her head in both hands and pulled her face down towards his crotch.

Lynn was crying and trying to turn away, but with Vince pushing against her back and Tony pulling her down, she didn't have anywhere else to go. Just as the tip of his cock rubbed against her mouth, Lynn felt a warm spray across her face and suddenly she could move again and her arms were free. She jerked back and pulled her shirt closed with one hand while reaching up to wipe her face with the other. Opening her eyes she was confused as she recognized the liquid on her face: blood, not sperm. Bud was standing with his gun pressed dead center between Vince's eyes, but Lynn hadn't heard a shot. Bud wasn't worried about Tony ambushing him - he was writhing on the floor with a salad fork piercing his scrotum, the long tines completely embedded in his penis. Lynn realized Bud had used his injured right hand to teach Tony some manners and as she looked at the bulging veins at his temple she knew that Bud was in danger here, not from these men but from his own weakened condition.

There was no time to try and calm anyone down. She pulled her bra back into place and tied her shirt up in front after wiping her face again. She picked up a bottle of ketchup and slammed it against the side of Vince's head as hard as she could, knocking him unconscious before he even hit the floor. Bud looked at her in astonishment, but Lynn also realized he was angry that she had taken his target away from him. As she threw money on the table, the door to the diner opened and the mechanic walked in, stopping in shock at the sight of the man with a fork in his penis. Lynn snapped her fingers in front of his face.
"You'd better be here to say our car is ready," she warned him, "or you'll be the next one to get forked."
He backed towards the door, stammering, "Yes, ma'am, your car's ready."
Lynn turned to Bud. "Can you make it to the door by yourself?" Her tone was intentionally insulting, knowing that Bud would have to do this himself while she went to get the car, or they might never get out of town before trouble really started. Tony wasn't the solitary type - there had to be more of his entourage around somewhere - and she and Bud needed to avoid them at all costs. Bud nodded stiffly and started moving slowly towards the door, the waitress supporting him and muttering about the goddamned men in this world all needing to get their balls cut off.

Lynn grabbed the keys from the mechanic, handed him what she knew was far too much money, and ran out the door for the car. By the time she pulled up in front of the diner, Bud was down the steps and waiting for her. She threw the car into park, got out and ran around to open the back door for him. She wasn't gentle as she helped him in, but she forced herself to slow down as Bud groaned involuntarily from the pain. While he got himself settled in she gave a handful of bills to the waitress.
"Please use this to smooth things over." Lynn forced the woman's fingers to open and take the money. The waitress closed her hand suddenly, trapping Lynn's fingers with her own.
"Just 'cause they say it," her intense black eyes held Lynn as captive as her strong fingers, "don't mean that it's the truth." the waitress whispered urgently. "Don't you believe the things they say about you."
Lynn stood there, stunned, then nodded slowly at the woman. She squeezed Lynn's hand once and nodded in return, unsmiling, before she turned and walked away. Lynn got back in the car and floored it, putting Banning behind them as quickly as she could.

Chapter 3


They'd been traveling for almost an hour when Bud's drug-induced doze was disturbed by the sound of Lynn's sobs. She pulled to the side of the road, flung open the door and barely made it to the sand before she vomited. At the first rest stop they came to Lynn spent almost an hour in the bathroom, scrubbing her skin raw. It was two days before she would let Bud touch her, and only then because he was crying. He laid on the motel room bed and tried to stroke her hair with his good hand, but she had pulled away from him, shuddering. She couldn't stand the feel of his skin against hers - she wasn't good enough for him.
"No." Lynn whispered, unable to say anything else, and turned her back to him.

At first, she wasn't sure she heard anything, and then she realized that Bud was trying to speak. Looking over her shoulder at him she saw the tears streaming down his face and his clenched jaw as he forced his mangled tongue to create the only sound it could - a sibilant hiss which transformed into a barely recognizable word - "Sorry." He was apologizing to her, and in that moment Lynn knew that Bud believed it was his fault that Tony had mauled her in the diner. She knew that Bud was sorry for not being in any shape to defend her and all this time thought she was blaming him instead of herself.
"Oh no, don't you understand? I'm a whore, I'll always be a whore. I thought that leaving L.A. would change that but it only changed the location. Tony knew me on sight because he can see the real me. You look at me with your heart in your eyes and stay blind to my true nature. I'm going to get you to Bisbee or wherever you want to go, then I'm going to get out of your life." Lynn was sobbing now too, and gently stroking Bud's good left hand. Her tears clouded her vision, but she could feel his body shaking with the expression of his grief and fear of losing her. It occurred to her then that Bud truly loved her and would never believe any of the things she believed about herself and Lynn knew that she would be punishing him if she left him, not setting him free.

His left arm encircled her and pulled her close and they lay on the bed together, holding each other and crying for the last tiny bit of innocence lost to them. Eventually both of them fell asleep, and in the morning Bud refused to let go of her until she swore three times that she would not leave him. His piercing gaze held her, finally consenting to believe.



Chapter 4


Lynn felt that gaze upon her once again, and pulled herself out of her memories. Using one foot to set the porch swing in motion, she looked over at Bud and smiled at his intensity.
"Penny...?" he rasped, using that funny shorthand way of talking they had developed for times when no one else was around.
Lynn had thought it sort of odd until she realized that every couple she knew had a private language they used to talk amongst themselves, so why should she and Bud be any different? Now Bud was asking her what she was thinking about, and she knew that no matter how long they lived, she would never ever mention that horrible time when she had contemplated leaving him.
"I'm just thinking about how much I love you, and thanking God that you are sitting here in Bisbee on this swing with me." Lynn let her smile travel to her eyes and announce itself in her voice. She was a master at the tricks a woman could use for distraction.

Her hand moved of it's own volition to his face and stroked his cheek. Bud turned his head into her hand and left a soft kiss in her palm. His eyes held her own as his mouth traveled along each finger, leaving a tender trail of warmth and tingling skin. Lynn's breath caught in her throat at the wave of desire that swept over her. It was always like this with Bud, an instant, overwhelming need that left her dizzy. Lynn would have taken him there on the porch, without a second thought, but Bud would never allow anything to happen that might tarnish her reputation. He kissed the inside of her wrist and gently pulled her into the sanctuary of his arms. Bud's lips found her throat and Lynn moaned slightly as he kissed his way up the side of her face and across her closed eyes. Leaning her head against him, Lynn listened closely to Bud's steady heartbeat and felt her own pulse quicken as his fingers traced a slow pattern down her side, until his hand finally rested on her hip. He rubbed his cheek along the top of her head, his warm breath penetrating the mass of her hair and sending shivers down her spine. Bud recognized her reaction and laughed softly as he held her.
"I love you," he whispered, "I love you so much."

The sound of his voice, like sex and whiskey and echoing inside the barrel of his chest, sent Lynn over the edge.
"I love you, too, Bud. I always will," her response was almost lost as her mouth found his and they kissed, "now let's go inside before I embarrass us both on this swing."

Bud laughed again, a sound that never failed to delight her. She stood up carefully and held his hands as he let the swing's momentum help him to his feet. They stood together for a moment, watching the desert awaken and the sun bathe their world in gold, before heading back to bed.



Chapter 5


As they stepped into the house, Lynn paused for a moment, allowing her eyes to adjust. Because the curtains were still drawn, the kitchen seemed like a cool, dark cave compared to the brightness of the porch. Bud took advantage of the opportunity her stillness offered and gently pulled her body against his until no part of her slim figure was not engulfed in his physical presence. Lynn closed her eyes as Bud's soft lips trailed along her ear and throat, finally stopping at the curve of her collarbone. She turned to face him as he pushed the door shut with his foot. Lynn pulled greedily at his t-shirt until finally, impatiently, she tore through the fabric with her nails and pressed her hands against Bud's hard, flat stomach. She moved her palms along his skin, no longer feeling the scars from bullets and Dudley Smith's betrayal, then grabbed Bud's ass in both hands, squeezing as she pulled his pelvis against her own. Bud let out a soft moan and captured Lynn's mouth with his own. Her own desire had never been a priority in L.A. - it was her job to lay there and let men do what they wanted. It had taken so long for Lynn to assert herself during their lovemaking that now even the slightest aggressive behavior on her part gave Bud almost orgasmic pleasure. Lynn unbuttoned his chinos and plunged her hand into his shorts. She loved the feel of him, warm, hard and strong. Lynn knew without asking that Bud realized his passion for Lynn herself, not some imagined fantasy, was the greatest aphrodisiac possible for her.

Lynn backed up slowly, stroking Bud's penis with one hand and massaging his buttocks with the other. She leaned back against the island counter and let go of him long enough to push his pants down to the floor where Bud deftly stepped out of them. The tattered t-shirt went next, thrown carelessly towards the garbage can, until Bud stood naked before her, erect, proud, scarred and more beautiful than any other man alive. Bud held Lynn's hands for a moment then let them drop to her sides as he opened her robe. Her full breasts ached as she waited for his touch. He kissed her again, his tongue exploring her mouth gently. Lynn shivered as the cool morning air met the trail of wetness Bud left on her skin as he kissed her. Her robe dropped off her shoulders and Bud's warm breath against Lynn's throat left her moaning. Lynn pulled herself up onto the counter and Bud stood between her spread legs, his mouth never leaving her body. His hands circled her waist as his lips caressed her. Bud gently stroked her breasts, licked and sucked her nipples. Lynn tried to pull his head up to kiss him, but he firmly held her hands away and continued to lick her body. His tongue flicked into her navel, sending an unexpected shiver up her spine. Bud's mouth, firm and hot, moved down her stomach and across her thighs, closer and closer to the throbbing center of her sex. Lynn stopped breathing as Bud's tongue darted in and out, teasing her to the edge of her endurance. The tip of his tongue traced circles around her clit and finally swept across the surface for a moment, just long enough for Lynn's nipples to start throbbing in sympathy. Bud continued the exquisite torture as he began to caress her body. His hands, rough-skinned and gentle, softly rubbed her nipples as Lynn's eyes closed and the moans began in earnest. Bud's lips, firm and tender, pulled her clit into his mouth as he suckled at her softly. "Lie back," he whispered as Lynn threw her legs over his shoulders. Lynn did as he asked, unable to speak, much less argue, as his mouth continued to explore her depths. Bud held her captive as his tongue plunged inside her, like a penis with a mind of it's own, twisting here and there, tasting her in every sense of the word. Lynn's back began to arch as Bud pushed his tongue hard inside her and then flicked it rapidly up and down her clit. He sucked at her again and there was no containing her reaction, her orgasm so intense she lifted off the counter and pushed herself against his face, his tongue never stopping.

As Lynn's body quivered in the last of her orgasm, Bud stood upright, his penis aching with need of her. He rubbed it against her, causing desire to swell again within her. "Please," she whispered, "inside me." Bud slid inside her, filling her completely and pulled her up until they held each other. Their bodies locked together and seemed to almost to become one new human form, far more complete together than they ever were apart. As Bud's release finally came, Lynn experienced the first multiple orgasm of her life. He held her in his arms, rocking her, as they waited for the last of the tremors to end. Lynn had never felt so safe, so cherished, so whole. "I love you," Bud told her, looking into her eyes with calm assurance, "I'll love you forever." Lynn locked her arms around Bud again, afraid to let him see the fear that suddenly gripped her. It couldn't be safe to be this happy. She closed her eyes and held him, kissed him until her fear faded away.

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