There once was a boy named LeRoq Who thought, "I had better take stock; If I go by 'Russell,' and build up some muscle, More girls will go after my...films."
In the 60's it came to pass that a pregnant New Zealand lass gave birth to a boy who brought her much joy and brought us the world's finest...films. Of all the men we'd love to lick there's one above all else we'd pick we'd start with movie screens, move on to his jeans, and then we'd proceed to his...films. Cinematographically,
Ada
There once was a 'tattooed bastard' Whose package made my pulse race faster Straining at the seams It was fuel for my dreams Hando, you're my Aryan master!By Ingrid
There once was a Crowe we all loved All the other girls I shoved To get a better Peek Of His lovely butt cheek ...And no other word rhymes with loved!There once was a General of temperance Who became a slave that would prance With tigers and such Russ, we wish we could touch We would if we just had the chance! Russell Crowe wrote High Horse Honey Shoulda got lotsa money He is a man of many stunts Like 30 Odd Foot of Grunts But as Hando in those tighty whities...he was yummy... Becca says, "I particularly like this one..." In The Insider he was fat As Sid he was a Cool Cat But the thought that gives me pause Is the image of him as Santa Clause Where on his lap I sat. I love to see Russell sweat And I love to see him wet Then I discovered his voice Whose Resonant Rumble made my skin moist If it were up to me, he'd be my pet!! Becca says,"There is no inside joke to this one, so don't try to figure it out. I have no idea why I wrote about Russell's shoes!" How many shoes does Russell have, I wonder? Russell makes my judgment blunder All I see are those puppy dog eyes He's a heavenly gift in disguise As a man with many shoes from Down Under! Becca says, "This is my favorite!" Each time I see him, I'm hungry for more When I speak of him, others say, "What for?" I swell to seismic proportions My brain has contortions I say, "You're crazy if Russell you do not want to explore!" Oh...my oh so buff man I should be part of the Clan I love those buttocks and pecs I even love the hair on your neck! I 'spose you could say I am your # one fan!! Jeffrey Wigand, an ordinary guy That wife of his, she must die For she left him in the dust And at that I cussed For whistleblowers I admire with a sigh... How many David's do you know? can't say, but I know a Crowe I wish he would look Inside My Eyes for then he'd realize that I love him head to toe! Russell tugs at the strings of my heart He always gives me a start When he breathes, sings, and talks And even when he walks! But how would I feel if he let out a fart? by Becca
Oh listen to poor Russell's plight Fearlessly-lions and Christians he'll fight One day from a batch He at last met his match A woman who'll kiss, lick and bite! (Blush!)Oh where did my sanity go? I lost it because of a Crowe, Your buttocks, your thighs, Those dark sexy eyes- Any chance of a cure-I'd say NO! Russell, my sexiest dream, Is to cover you with chocolate and cream A quick night time snack A roll in the sack And a lingering nude swim in a stream!
Jo
There once was a man called Russell Whose brain was almost pure muscle one day for a joke he snorted some coke To extricate his nose from the can was a tussle..
Sunnie
There once was a man from Down Under Whose body we all want to plunder We're enthralled by his voice Buy his movies by choice Is he available for me, I wonder!We all love a man named Russ Whose been known to pout and cuss You should check out his eyes And even those thighs And you'll see why we raise such a fuss! There once was a beautiful man Who does for me what no one else can. I dream and I drool At times act the fool As I remain him number one fan!
Fran
Russell-I love you in dirt You tease me -you naughty flirt! I'm enthralled by your muck But you're in with good luck Here's a tip I'm an absolute cert!Cort my dream and my hope Is to lather you up with some soap Those hard to reach places Those dark secret spaces And have a sly sneaky grope! I search and I search on my hunt For the one resonantly rumbling Grunt He purrs in my ear I do love you dear And we practice an acrobatic love stunt. Travel destination-Liverpool a must With a Crowefan you really can trust A long stagecoach trip- A quick backseat strip And plenty of lust in the dust! My knight in shining armour is Bud An aphrodisiac which will work for good That fine soulful stare- That sexy short hair Can't stop kissing him though I know that I should! An Adonis is beautiful East Loves water and horses at least I dive in the pond My plan to abscond Oh take me you wild sexy beast! Love is in limbo-we all feel the same which for someone so hot is a shame Many women would care Your children would bear I would just like to say that I'm game! Treat me like chocolate-It's a must Or roll me around in the dust Any way I can You are my man Don't wake me up in mid-lust! Top dog, numero uno, the cream Our hero, captain of our team, You say you are mine That all will be fine Then I wake up and find it's a dream!
Jo
There once was a boy from New Zealand Who grew up to be quite of a he-man With those beautiful arms, I so crave his charms So what turns me on? Well he can!There once was a band called The Grunts Whose music I loved all at once!! I long for the day, When I see them play, But I wait with NO Tolerance!!! There once was an actor named Crowe Whose lips looked as sweet as the snow If I only knew, Well what would I do?? Hell !!, it's off to the farm I would go!!!! There once was an Aries from Oz A ram who could reach to the stars!! He's specific and cruel, But Nobody's fool!!! And like chocolate, he makes your mouth drool!!! There once was a farmer named Crowe, A horseman, and such, don't you know? He's randy and bold!! Can't be bought, can't be sold!! With Russell, they just broke the mold!! There once was a cop named White, Who was always wound up so tight Russ was so good!! We all know he should have walked with an Oscar that night!!! There once was a guy named Sid Who relished in all that he did Russ was such fun!! In all that he done He was just like an over grown kid!! Oww Russell, he's such a cute fella' Who's he?, You know I will tell her! He's the man , with the band 30 Odd Foot that can, With his voice, make you stammer and stutter!!
Neicie
I've always had the desire to know the actor who's known as Russell Crowe he can sing, he can act, he's gorgeous, it's a fact I just love him from head to toe!Russell Crowe, Russell Crowe there's no one cuter, that I know that beautiful face, no one could replace his place in my heart....I'm aglow! We're all loyal Crowemates, we just can't resist Sharing our love for our guy on the list But if we had Russell, to him we would hustle, and crowepeople@iList would cease to exist! Sid 6.7, Lachlan and Cort, Jeff, Bud and Hando we'd never cut short. East, Alex and Andy are all sweet eye candy Whatever the role, Russ, you have our support!
Shirl
There once was a man name of Cort Who was so sexy that it made me snort. He wore a collar on his shirt, And all kinds of dirt, I'd like to offer him a special "kimmi" torte.
Kim
There once was a man, RC He was born on an island, NZ 'Twas an actor elite, Can make you squirm in your seat His films are just pure ecstasy!A voice like velvet against my skin wicked tough yet smooth as gin 30 Odd Feet of Grunts is the Band that he fronts He makes us all want to sin (and sin again)
KellyKelly
There once was a fellow Bud White Who kept us up night after night Re-watching his moves We were glued to the tube He was a most wonderful sightThere once was a fellow named Cort A bit of a curious sort He was a crack shot But he loved God a lot And he won every quick-draw he fought There once was a fellow named Steve Whose girlfriend gave him a reprieve When he fainted in church It left her in the lurch She's more patient than we can believe. There once was a fellow named Ross We'd all like to give him a toss. A tarantula he ate But didn't he look great? And he showed Myra who was the boss There once was a fellow named Jeff And his chin had that cute little cleft When he kissed and grabbed John We wished they'd 'get it on' But, sadly, his dad hadn't left There once was a fellow named East Who looked AWESOME on back of a beast Unbelievably buff He also was tough Exciting us most (not LEAST) There once was a fellow named Colin A Japanese girl for a darlin' Shot after the dance They hadn't a chance Her husband did nothing but snarlin' And once Jeffrey Wigand was he In a title just "M.O.T.P" Release it with a name It would make us all sane We could be at the theater by 3. Another one Russell is in Is beginning to wear a bit thin Hockey in the summer Would really be a bummer So they're waiting for Fall to begin And Russell, we love you so much We dream of your face and your touch To us, you're a god And we all want your bod And we all want to do such and such. And try and try as we might We still think about you day and night In Malta he is Oh, well that's show biz That rhino will sure get a fight
Sandy
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