Answer these questions truthfully and find out your true level of Crowe corruption. Points will be given for each answer-see how you rate at the end.
Answer Yes or No
1.Do you look at men that you pass in the street (or see at home) and say to yourself "No-Russell is far sexier than him!"?
2. Do you watch films and think that Russell would have been better in that role?
3.Do you think, dream or lust after Russell more than once every day?
4.Do you fantasize about what household chores you would get Russell to do? (Er-hem........)
5.Do the words "resonant rumble" make you quiver?
6. Do you hit the pause or rewind button at least once during every Crowe film that you watch?
7. Have you ever gone to see a film on the cinema solely because you were expecting a trailer to one of Russell's films to be shown before it?
8. Was that film ruined for you when the Crowe trailer was not shown?
9.Have you ever gone to extreme lengths to obtain a magazine or newspaper featuring the latest article or picture of Russell?
10.If you heard the words "water,horses or dirt" would you automatically think of Russell?
11.Have you seen all of the Crowe films that you own more than once?
12.Have you ever had a dream about Russell?
13. Do you think that TOFOG is--
a) A new Japanese dish
b) Weedkiller
c) A new Swahili sport
d) A hot band with the charismatic Mr Crowe as lead singer and guitarist.
14 .Have you ever tried to convert one of your friends or colleagues into the world of Crowedom?
15.Have you ever used computer technology to superimpose yourself next to Russell in any picture that you have?
Scoring:
Everybody begins with total purity-a score of zero.
For every time that you answered Yes to Questions 1-12 add 5 points to your score.
Bonus Question Answers:
Qu 13.If you answered a,b or c--YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!! Deduct 20 points from your score.
If you anwered d-Rock on Grunthead!!--Add 5 points.
Qu 14. If you have tried to convert a pal but failed-nice try-add 5 points
If you have successfully converted anyone and initiated them into the Crowe world-whoopee--you have a real talent-have 5 extra points.
Qu 15. If you have ever used the computer to place yourself in a photo with Russell--(great isn't it?)--have 5 points.
If the picture of Russell used was naked-you saucy girl!-5 extra points!!
If the picture of you was naked--very very bad girl-10 extra points for bravery!!
Now total up your score and see how you did in the categories below:
0 Points -PITIFUL- Are you sure that you are on the right list?????
5-40 Points - A mild case of corruption: you need to try much harder if you are to savour the true essence of Crowe. Go and have a Russathon-watch all of his films in one sitting without interruption, let the passion pulsate through your veins and then take the test again one week later.
45-75 Points - Not bad (but not bad enough!) ....A growing addiction..you need to indulge your Crowe fantasies more. Don't listen to your doctor...the medications may stop the hallucinations but it also takes the joy out of life. Hop on that Crowe-ing 747 and ride to Crowe heaven........
80-100 points - A Crowetastic score. You bad bad bad bad girl-a straight jacket,a padded room or a Police cell are only seconds away! You will be pleased to know that there is NO hope of a cure. Complete Crowe Corruption has been achieved!!!
Thank you for participating in the Russell Crowe Fan Purity Test.
Dr. Jo Cimelli, D.C.S.
Doctor of Crowe Sciences
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