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VOICE MAIL #1
(phone rings)
ROGER & MARK
"Speak!"
DAVE
(into phone) Roger, it's Dave, (to customer) $4.50,
(into phone) this is the last time you've left me without a bartender
(to customer) two Buds (into phone) don't bother coming in next week
(to customer) rolling rock (into phone) you're 86ed!
(phone rings)
ROGER & MARK
"Speak!"
MARK'S MOM
That was a very loud beep
I don't even know if this is working
Mark -- Mark -- are you there
Are you screening your calls --
It's mom
We wanted to call and say we love you
And we'll miss you tomorrow
Cindy and the kids are here -- send their love
Oh, I hope you like the hot plate
Just don't leave it on, dear
When you leave the house
Oh, and Mark
Your father got a call from Chemical Bank
I don't know how they got our number
but we meant it when we said that you're cut off
...love Mom
(phone rings)
ROGER & MARK
"Speak!"
BENNY
Dudes, it's Benny
I know it's Christmas, but I need the cash
Something big, I'm on my way
Don't block the box a-hole! Later...
Top
RENT
MARK
If I threw my body out the window
brain all splattered guts all steaming in the snow
I wouldn't have to finish shooting films
that no one wants to show
Rent!
ROGER
If I studied something that paid a salary
wouldn't have to do the shit I do for cash
My guts all steaming, fuck this dreaming
speed, metal rocks, songs for the trash
MARK
The wheels aren't turning
ROGER
It's worthy of burning
MARK & ROGER
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
Last month's rent
ROGER
If I took a hammer, tapped my forehead
wouldn't have to wake and stagger through the week
or hear a boring, grinning, whoring, brainless, dull producer speak
Rent!
MARK
If I slid the bars back
hurled my body through the cracked glass
on some crack-head's cardboard bed
Maureen could kick my frozen frame
shout my name, and then drop dead
ROGER
She's got a new man?
What's his name?
MARK
Joanne
MARK & ROGER
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
Last month's rent
Top
YOU OKAY HONEY?
ANGEL
You okay, honey?
COLLINS
I'm afraid so
ANGEL
They get any money?
COLLINS
No, had none to get
But they purloined my coat
Well you missed a sleeve! - thanks
ANGEL
Hell, it's Christmas Eve
MAUREEN
That's the stage, Joanne? Kiss!
Remind me when I stress forgive me
JOANNE
That was last Tuesday night, Maureen
ANGEL
I'm Angel
COLLINS
Indeed, an angel of the first degree
Friends call me Collins -- Tom Collins
Nice tree
Top
RENT #2
ROGER
If they toss my carcass in the dumpster
my fingers wouldn't bleed and blister and scar
My head wouldn't pound from the sound
of garbage streaming out of my guitar
MARK
If I killed myself or studied business
no more parents spitting up on my career
So are you showing?
Where's this going?
Home for Christmas?
MARK & ROGER
Not this year!
MARK
We're hungry and frozen
ROGER
Some life that we've chosen
MARK & ROGER
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
Last month's rent
This month's rent
Next month's rent
Rent rent rent rent rent
How we gonna pay rent
How we gonna pay rent
Top
YOU'RE A FOOL
ROGER
You're off?
MARK
You wanna wait here for Benny?
ROGER
Is there anything else to do?
MARK
Anything but Maureen's show
ROGER
You wanna go? Yes?
MARK
I guess
ROGER
For someone cool, you're a fool
MARK
I know
ROGER
But her show's not `til one
MARK
We'll do something else, it's Christmas
ROGER
Oh fun! Some of us don't have time for that
MARK
Aw!
ROGER
Some of us get writer's block
MARK
What a crock
ROGER
Some of our parents don't pay our bills
MARK
Mr. Negative, cuz he's HIV Positive!
ROGER
You can't know, give me some latitude
MARK
Maybe you're blocked because of that attitude
ROGER
I doubt you'd be so brave
Hell, you're scared to see your ex
MARK
I'm a chicken shit
A hypocrite -- I admit
ROGER
I rest my case
For someone cool you're a fool
MARK
Let's make a deal
ROGER
No deals
MARK
I'll see Maureen if you come out tonight
ROGER
I don't fit in anymore, all right!
Anyway, I'm working
ROGER
It's scratchy
MARK
It recalls something, but it's catchy
ROGER
The inspired zone of my brain has atrophied
but I need to leave a mark before I croak
MARK
Not funny!
ROGER
No joke
I wish that I could turn the days I wasted
toying with dope fiends and groupies
into days spent obsessing over details
the way that you do
MARK
If you only knew
I spend so much time obsessing, it's depressing
For someone cool, you're the fool
You want to rediscover the spark
leave a mark, share something with someone
Face your fears
ROGER
What's that I hear?
Maureen, did you say?
MARK
Touche
MARK & ROGER
For someone cool, you're a...
(knock on the door) Shit!
(another knock) Hi!
(another knock) The lock!
(another knock) Damn!
Top
TODAY 4 U
MARK & ROGER
Bustelo -- Marlboro
Banana by the bunch
A box of Cap'n Crunch will taste so good
COLLINS
And firewood
MARK
Must be Santa Claus
COLLINS
Hold your applause
MARK & ROGER
Collins!
COLLINS
Playing Anne Frank with your landlord?
Better have some Stoli
MARK & ROGER
Oh holy night
You struck gold at MIT?
COLLINS
They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality
Which I now impart
To the couch potatoes at New York University
Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve
Whose music is the purest on the bow'ry, I believe
A true member of the Alphabet City avant-garde
Angel Dumott Schunard!
ANGEL
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
COLLINS
And you should hear her beat!
ROGER
You earned this on the street?
ANGEL
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A
When a lady in a limousine drove my way
She said, "Darling -- be a dear -- I haven't slept in a year
I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear"
"This akita, Evita, just won't shut up
I believe if you play non-stop that pup
Will breathe its very last high-strung breath
I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
We agreed on a fee -- a thousand dollar guarantee
Tax-free, and a bonus if I trim her tree
Now who could foretell that it would go so well
But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell
After an hour - Evita -- in all her glory
On the window ledge of that 23rd story
Like Thelma & Louise did when they got the blues
Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
I said: Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Top
DO A LITTLE BUSINESS
BENNY
The checkbook, Allison, the checkbook, Allison, the checkbook,
Not my datebook, for the money, Allison, honey, Allison,
The batteries are running out of gas
Just find me, Allison, the checkbook, Allison,
Otherwise Allison, it's my ass
And so this is Christmas -- Oh ho ho ho, dudes
Feed the world, let them know it's Christmas time
Hey you bum -- Yeah, you, move over
Get your ass off that range rover
Boys I'm double parked
MARK
Benny
BENNY
How's your project? -- Good
MARK
You yuppie scum
BENNY
How's your project? Good, you've worked how long?
MARK
Six years
BENNY
And for what?
MARK
That's not the point
BENNY
You kill me
Six years, Allison, since I blew this dump
What'd I make a million?
I just did a little business
MARK
Did a little business
BENNY
What's wrong with that?
I bought the building
MARK
Bought the building
BENNY
I bought the lot next door
I bought another
COLLINS
And another
BENNY
And now I need to buy one more
COLLINS
Just like Monopoly
ANGEL
I love Monopoly, I'll be the dog
COLLINS
I`ll be the hat
MARK
What's next? Little green houses?
COLLINS
Plastic houses
ROGER
A little red plastic hotel
BENNY
A video franchise
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Video franchise?
BENNY
The deal your rent will underwrite
One last building on the block, then sell
Cough it up! Tonight's my night!
And tell Maureen
MARK
We aren't speaking
BENNY
Her protest better end by two
We're putting in fences
COLLINS
On Christmas Day?
BENNY
That wasn't me
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Then who?
BENNY
It's none of your business
MARK
None of our business?
BENNY
Tonight your business is the rent
MARK & ROGER
Yeah
COLLINS
That your jeep?
BENNY
My Range Rover
ROGER
Perfect car for urban play
BENNY
We use it too, to get away
MARK
East Hampton is just like the outback
COLLINS
L-i-e, like a safari
ROGER
We should buy one
MARK
We should buy two
BENNY
Now then
ANGEL
Now then
COLLINS
Buy ten
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Bye-bye!
ROGER
Wait, what happened to the Jag?
BENNY
With the wife and the dog it was a drag
ANGEL
Oh drag, what kind of hag,
I mean dog, do you have?
BENNY
Evita's an Akita
MARK, ROGER, COLLINS & ANGEL
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
BENNY
Gotta do a little business
MARK
Do a little business
BENNY
Can we?
MARK & ROGER
We can
BENNY
November, December, January. Brings the sum to...
ANGEL
I can't believe that they are out on Christmas Eve!
BENNY
What?
ANGEL
A tow truck
BENNY
The city needs the reven... A tow truck? You fuck!
A tow truck, Allison, a tow truck, Allison,
A tow truck, tow truck, tow truck, Allison,
A tow truck, Allison, A tow truck, Allison,
A tow truck, tow truck, tow truck, tow truck, tow truck
Top
FEMALE TO FEMALE
MAUREEN
Female to female, female to female, female to female
Joanne, we said female to female
When we left the house, what cable did we say to pack?
No, that's a headphone jack
JOANNE
Yes, Maureen
MAUREEN
No, the plugs are red and black
JOANNE
Yes, Maureen
MAUREEN
Did you check the knapsack?
JOANNE
Yes, Maureen
MAUREEN
Then you'll have to go back
JOANNE
I guess, Maureen
MAUREEN
We said RCA
JOANNE
Uh-huh
MAUREEN
We said RCA
JOANNE
You're right
MAUREEN
To connect the sampler to the digital delay
JOANNE
Let's not get uptight
MAUREEN
To run from the amp to the video display
Am I such a dumb cow?
JOANNE
No!
MAUREEN
Should I take poison now?
JOANNE
No!
MAUREEN
God, this is going worse than we expected
JOANNE
I know, Maureen
MAUREEN
How can I perform if we're unconnected?
JOANNE
I'll go, Maureen
MAUREEN
It's times like these, I really appreciate Mark
Top
COME TO THE MEETING/ HE SAYS
MARK
Now's our chance
ANGEL
Mr. Finance lived here?!
COLLINS
Before the real estate career
MARK
We can't stay
ROGER
Benny was a dilettante
Benny met a debutante
Go ahead, I'll catch up
MARK
No way!
COLLINS
Come to the meeting
ROGER
What meeting?
ANGEL
He lived here?
COLLINS
Support group - P.W.A.
MARK
Benny'll be back, come!
ROGER
I don't need 12 steps
MARK
I know
Benny, he'll make us pay
MARK & ROGER
For someone cool, he's a fool
ROGER
He kicks us out, we move, so what?
COLLINS
But, where? Do you know?
ROGER
I got a car
So as far as April's bucket'll go
Santa Fe, Austin...
MARK
We couldn't make Boston!
ANGEL
April?
MARK
Suicidal girl who od'ed
He says he loved her, what he loves is to bleed
Over two years since she left that car key
But he never drives it
ROGER
That's enough
ANGEL
Dinner's on me
MARK
First the meeting, then Maureen's show
ROGER
See you at the restaurant
MARK
But the meeting!
(Roger hits Mark)
Oh! He says he'll meet us at the restaurant
He says he wants to stay and play his guitar, he says
He wants to be obsessed with art like me, he says
He wants to re-develop the creative side of his brain, he says
He doesn't need support groups
ROGER
I say he'll bring his camera
MARK
He says he doesn't know why I go when I'm not sick or queer
ROGER
But it's to make a career!
MARK
He says he doesn't think that love is possible anymore
ROGER
It's not!
ROGER & MARK
One day I'll/he'll fix that car she left me/him and fly
MARK
I don't believe a word
I don't believe a word
I don't believe a word he says
Top
RIGHT BRAIN
ROGER
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this night...
The right brain
How do I find the right brain
I lost my map
The right brain
It's when I get locked in
Find the right brain
Like driving north, Pacific Coast Highway
from San Simian to Big Sur
Find the right brain
The sight of the sky
The right brain
The sound of the ocean, the ocean
Find the right brain
Hugging the curves
the right brain
As the sun sets
The right brain
Through the trees into the sea
Time flies -- Time dies
Right brain
Can't find the right brain
I can't find the right brain
Right brain
Find the right brain
Like driving her head over the edge of the bed
Breathing the only sound
Find the right brain
The touch of her skin
The right brain
The sound of the ocean, the ocean
Find the right brain
Hugging the curves
The right brain
As you enter the right brain
Through her thighs into the sea
Time flies
I never needed to concentrate before
Time dies
(a knock on the door)
The door
Top
LIGHT MY CANDLE
ROGER
I'm not going
MIMI
Got a light?
ROGER
I know you?
You're -- you're shivering
MIMI
It's nothing
They turned off my heat
And I'm just a little
Weak on my feet
Would you light my candle?
What are you staring at?
ROGER
Nothing
Your hair in the moonlight
You look familiar
Can you make it?
MIMI
Just haven't eaten much today
At least the room stopped spinning
Anyway. What?
ROGER
Nothing
Your smile reminded me of --
MIMI
I always remind people of -- who is she?
ROGER
She died. Her name was April
MIMI
It's out again
Sorry about your friend
Would you light my candle?
ROGER
Well --
MIMI
Yeah. Ow!
ROGER
Oh, the wax -- it's
MIMI
Dripping! I like it -- between my --
ROGER
Fingers! I figured...
Oh, well. Goodnight.
(another knock)
It blew out again?
MIMI
No -- I think that I dropped my stash
ROGER
I know I've seen you out and about
When I used to go out
Your candle's out
MIMI
I'm illin' --
I had it when I walked in the door
It was pure --
Is it on the floor?
ROGER
The floor?
MIMI
They say I have the best ass below 14th street
Is it true?
ROGER
What?
MIMI
You're staring again
ROGER
Oh no!
I mean you do -- have a nice
I mean -- you look familiar
MIMI
Like your dead girlfriend?
ROGER
Only when you smile
But I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else
MIMI
Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club
That's where I work -- I dance -- Help me look
ROGER
Yes!
They used to tie you up --
MIMI
It's a living
ROGER
I didn't recognize you
Without the handcuffs
MIMI
We could light the candle
Oh won't you light the candle
ROGER
Why don't you forget that stuff
You look like you're sixteen
MIMI
I'm nineteen -- but I'm old for my age
I'm just born to be bad
ROGER
I once was born to be bad
I used to shiver like that
MIMI
I have no heat -- I told you
ROGER
I used to sweat
MIMI
I got a cold
ROGER
Uh huh
I used to be a junkie
MIMI
But now and then I like to --
ROGER
Uh huh
MIMI
Feel good
ROGER
Here it -- oh no
MIMI
What's that?
ROGER
Candy bar wrapper
MIMI
We could light the candle
Oh what'd you do with my candle?
ROGER
That was my last match
MIMI
Our eyes'll adjust
Thank God for the moon
ROGER
Maybe it's not the moon at all
I hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street
MIMI
Bah humbug ... bah humbug
ROGER
Cold hands
MIMI
Yours too
Big, like my father's
You wanna dance?
ROGER
With you?
MIMI
No -- with my father
ROGER
I'm Roger
MIMI
They call me
they call me Mimi
Top
CHRISTMAS BELLS
HOMELESS MAN
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Somewhere else
Not here
Top
VOICE MAIL #2
MAUREEN
Hi, you've reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message and don't forget
Over the Moon, my performance protesting the 11th Street re-zoning.
Tonight at 1 am in the 11th street lot between A and B.
Party at Life Cafe to follow. (BEEP)
MR. JEFFERSON
Well, Joanne -- we're off
Call Daisy for our itinerary or Alfred at Pound Ridge
Or Eileen at the state department in a pinch
We'll be at the spa for New Year's
unless the senator changes his mind
MRS. JEFFERSON
The hearings
MR. JEFFERSON
Oh yes -- Muffin
Mummy's confirmation hearing begins on the tenth
We'll need you -- alone -- by the sixth
For the briefings and the luncheon on the eighth
MRS. JEFFERSON
Harold!
MR. JEFFERSON
You hear that?
It's three weeks away
And she's already nervous
MRS. JEFFERSON
I am not!
MR. JEFFERSON
For Mummy's sake, Muffin
No Doc Martens this time and wear a dress
Oh, and Muffin -- have a merry
MRS. JEFFERSON
And a bra!
Top
FEMALE TO FEMALE #2
MAUREEN
Did you check the hall?
JOANNE
I checked
MAUREEN
Underneath the bed?
JOANNE
Right
MAUREEN
At the studio, no RCA's
And we're dead
JOANNE
Hang tight
MAUREEN
The cops are clearing out the lot by morning
JOANNE
It's true, Maureen
MAUREEN
We'll lose our shot
My piece could be a warning
JOANNE
What should I do, Maureen?
MAUREEN
It's times like these I really appreciate Mark
JOANNE
I heard you before
MAUREEN
How can someone so bright
Be so utterly in the dark?
JOANNE
Look, no more!
Isn't it enough that I scratch your every itch?
MAUREEN
Bitch!
JOANNE
Isn't it enough that I pay for all of this?
MAUREEN
Kiss!
JOANNE
Isn't it enough that I put up every day
with a temperamental, selfish, abusive,
MAUREEN
Sexy!
JOANNE
All right, sexy...
MAUREEN
Talented, brilliant
JOANNE
Infuriating
MAUREEN
Funny
JOANNE
Immature
MAUREEN
Post-modern goddess!
JOANNE
And oh-so modest
MAUREEN
Kiss me!
JOANNE
I adore your eyes
I adore your eyes
MAUREEN
And my lousy reviews
JOANNE
And your lousy --
MAUREEN
Hey!
JOANNE
It's one little pen
MAUREEN
I know
JOANNE
So The Times ain't a rag
MAUREEN
Oh no
JOANNE
One day they'll beg to carve a statue of you!
MAUREEN
I love you more each day
JOANNE
I love you, Maureen!
MAUREEN
RCA! On the table
If you love me run home and bring back the cable
JOANNE
I hate you, Maureen!
MAUREEN
Run
JOANNE
Yes, Maureen
MAUREEN
If you fly I promise I will kiss you in a thousand places
JOANNE
The mind races, my queen
MAUREEN
The feet race
The feet race -- go!
JOANNE
Go over your speech
MAUREEN
Go home or I'll screech!
JOANNE & MAUREEN
Female to female, female to female
MAUREEN
My speech: Last night I had this,shit! This what?
This dream. Last night I had this dream, last night I had this dream,
last night I had this dream, last night I had this...
female to female
Top
ANOTHER DAY
ROGER
Who do you think you are?
Barging in on me and my guitar
Little girl - hey
The door is that way
You better go you know
The fire's out anyway
Take the powder -- take your candle
Your sweet whisper
I just can't handle
Well take your hair in the moonlight
Your brown eyes -- Goodbye, goodnight
I should tell you -- I should tell you
I should tell you -- I should -- no!
Another time -- another place
Our temperature would climb
There'd be a long embrace
We'd do another dance
It'd be another play
Looking for romance?
Come back another day
Another day
Another, another day
Another, another day
MIMI
Your pain I see -- your heart's been burned
You're just like me before I learned
There is no future
There is no past
I live this moment
As my last
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today
ROGER
Excuse me if I'm off track
But if you're so wise
then tell me -- why do you need smack?
Honey, get real
Here's the deal
It's time for you to book
I mean look you're cute
But I don't buy that schpiel
Take your needle
Take your fancy prayer
And don't forget
Get the moonlight out of your hair
Long ago you might've lit up my heart
But the fire's dead -- ain't never ever gonna start
Another time -- another place
The words would only rhyme
We'd be in outer space
It'd be another song
We'd sing another way
You wanna prove me wrong?
Come back another day
Another day
MIMI
Your anger's real -- but just beware
It's a waste to feel that fate's unfair
There's no such thing as tragedy
I can't resent what's meant to be
There's only yes
Only tonight
We must let go
To know what's right
No other course
No other way
No day but today
MIMI & COMPANY
I can't control
my destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal
Is just -- to be
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today
ROGER
Control your temper
She doesn't see
Who says that there's a soul
Just let me be
Who do you think you are?
Barging in on me and my guitar
Little girl, hey
The door is that way
The fire's out anyway
MIMI & COMPANY
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
ROGER
Take the powder
Take the candle
Take your whisper
Take your moonlit hair
Take your brown eyes
Your pretty smile
Your silhouette
Another time
Another place
Another rhyme
A warm embrace
Another dance
Another way
Another chance
Another day
Top
CHRISTMAS BELLS #2
THREE HOMELESS PEOPLE
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Out of town
Santa Fe
SQUEEGEEMAN
Honest living, man!
Feliz Navidad!
HOMELESS PERSON
Evening, officers
MARK
Smile for Ted Koppel, Officer Martin!
HOMELESS PERSON
And a Merry Christmas to your family
POLICE OFFICERS
Right!
HOMELESS PERSON
Who the fuck do you think you are?
I don't need no goddamn help
From some bleeding heart cameraman
My life's not for you to
Make a name for yourself on!
ANGEL
Easy, sugar, easy
He was just trying to --
HOMELESS PERSON
Just trying to use me to kill his guilt
It's not that kind of movie, honey
Let's go -- This lot is full of motherfucking artists
Hey artist - got a dollar?
I thought not
Top
SANTA FE
ANGEL
New York City --
MARK
Uh huh
ANGEL
Center of the universe
COLLINS
Sing it girl --
ANGEL
Times are shitty
But I'm pretty sure they can't get worse
MARK
I hear you
ANGEL
It's a comfort to know
When you're singing the hit-the-road blues
that anywhere else you could possibly go after New York
would be a pleasure cruise
COLLINS
Now you're talking
Well, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle
And I'm sick of grading papers - that I know
And I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzle
All this misery pays no salary, so
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Oh sunny Santa Fe would be nice
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And leave this to the roaches and mice
ANGEL
You teach?
COLLINS
I teach -- Computer Age Philosophy
But my students would rather watch TV
ANGEL
America!
ALL
America!
ANGEL
I preach!
MARK
Hallelujah!
ANGEL
I beat the drum of apocalypse
like orchestras on sinking ships
COLLINS
America!
ALL
America!
COLLINS
You're a sensitive aesthete
Brush the sauce onto the meat
You could make the menu sparkle with rhyme
You could drum a gentle drum
I could seat guests as they come
chatting not about Heidegger, but wine!
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
ANGEL, MARK & HOMELESS
Santa Fe
COLLINS
Our labors would reap financial gains
ANGEL, MARK & HOMELESS
Gains, gains, gains
COLLINS
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And save from devastation our brains
MAN
Save our brains
ALL
We'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away
Devote ourselves to projects that sell
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
COLLINS
Forget this cold Bohemian hell
Do you know the way to Santa Fe?
You know, tumbleweeds...prairie dogs...Yeah
Top
I'LL COVER YOU
MARK
Oh my God!
COLLINS & ANGEL
What?
MARK
Maureen! Quick, don't look. Is she with anyone?
ANGEL
You said not to look.
MARK
Shit!
COLLINS
She's alone.
MARK
That's it.
(MARK exits)
ANGEL
We'll never be that desperate
COLLINS
You'll never have to be
ANGEL
I've been hearing violins all night!
COLLINS
Anything to do with me? Are we a thing?
ANGEL
Darling... we're everything!
Live in my house
I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back
With one thousand kisses
Be my lover -- I'll cover you
COLLINS
Open your door
I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage
To lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there -- I'll cover you
BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love,
on life -- be my life
Just slip me on
I'll be your blanket
Wherever -- whatever -- I'll be your coat
ANGEL
You'll be my king
And I'll be your castle
COLLINS
No you'll be my queen
And I'll be your moat
BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love, on life
All my life
I've longed to discover
Something as true as this is
COLLINS
So with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
ANGEL
If you're cold and you're lonely
You've got one nickel only
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
COLLINS
When you're worn out and tired
when your heart has expired
BOTH
Oh lover I'll cover you
Oh lover I'll cover you
Top
WILL I?
STEVE
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?
GROUP #1
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?
GROUP #2
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?
GROUP #3
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?
GROUP #4
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?
Top
YOU'LL GET OVER IT
MAUREEN
It's times like these I really appreciate - Mark!
Dear, I'm so glad you're here! Honey, baby!
You've lost some weight...
I mean you've always looked great
MARK
I try Maureen
MAUREEN
Back when we used to date
MARK
You lie Maureen
MAREEN
Now let's not get irate
MARK
Why Maureen?
MAUREEN
Joanne ran for the cable but of course she's late
MARK
I don't know why I even try Maureen
MAUREEN
My samples won't delay, but the cable...
MARK
There's another way
Say something, anything
MAUREEN
Test -- one, two, one, two, three
MARK
Anything but that
Tell me what it's like
MAUREEN
What?
MARK
With a girl --
Tell me what it's like for a girl and a girl
MAUREEN
No way!
MARK
Tell me -- or I walk away
MAUREEN
It's amazing!
MARK
Who's on top?
Who wears the pants?
Who leads when you dance?
Give me one more chance Maureen
This is just a phase like girls and horses
And you never even wore flannel shirts
You'll get over it
MAUREEN
How's it going?
MARK
Not good -- I'm depressed
MAUREEN
I meant the sampler
MARK
I'm adapting - repatching
MAUREEN
Thank God! You're the best!
MARK
Ha!
MAUREEN
Don't be depressed
Tell me how you've been
MARK
Why?
MAUREEN
'Cause I care --
Tell me how you've been
God time flies
MARK
Don't patronize!
MAUREEN
Tell me
We used to be friends
MARK
I'm lonely, bored, and horny!
MAUREEN
Is there no one new?
You need a mate
It's not too late
Have you even had one date?
Boy, you just need some time
Then you'll be fine, Mark
Anyway -- I treated you like dirt
You'll get over it
Just remember what you hate about me
-- Though it may be hard
MARK
How can you be so content without me?
How can you disregard all we had?
MAUREEN
Dysfunction
MARK
All we said
MAUREEN
I'm over men
MARK
All we did
MAUREEN
I slept around
MARK
And you will again
Tell me what you'll do
MAUREEN
When?
MARK
When you're bored
Tell me what you'll do when you tire of girls
MAUREEN
I won't!
MARK
I'll tell you -- you'll run back to me!
MAUREEN
Your fantasy
MARK
You always do
MAUREEN
Don't hold your breath
MARK
I know your kind
Always change your mind
MAUREEN
Don't be so blind
Can't you see?
All my life I've known
Who I was meant to be
MARK
But you never even liked KD Lang
MAUREEN
You'll get over it
MARK
This is just a fad that will fade
You'll get over it
MAUREEN
You just need to get laid
You'll get over it
In time we'll laugh about this
You'll get over it
MARK
In time you'll beg for my kiss
MAUREEN
Don't bet on it
MARK
Try it now
MAUREEN
You'll get over it
("You'll get over it" echoes)
Grrr!
MARK
I call this cause for hope
MAUREEN
I would call this platonic -- don't grope
(JOANNE enters)
Honey! You're back!
Uh -- we're patched.
Top
CHRISTMAS BELLS #3
HOMELESS
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Somewhere else
not here
MAN
Honest living
Honest living
Honest living...
HOMELESS
Christmas bells are singing
Christmas bells are singing
Christmas bells are singing
On TV -- at Saks
Can't you spare a dime or two
Here before the grace of God, won't you
You'll be merry
I'll be merry
Tho merry aint in my vocabulary
No sleighbells
No Santa Claus
No yule log
No tinsel
No holly
No hearth
No Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer
Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer
No room at the Holiday Inn -- Oh no
And it's beginning to snow
VENDORS
Hats, bags, shoes, booze
Mountain bikes, potpourri
Leather bags, Girlie mags
Tommy guns, AZT
MAN
No one's buying
Feel like crying
HOMELESS
No Visa
No Mastercard
No Am-Ex
No traveler's checks
No dollars
No cents
No Frosty the Snowman
Frosty the snowman
No room at the Holiday Inn -- Oh no
And it's beginning to snow
WOMAN
How about a fur
In perfect shape
Owned by an MBA from uptown
I got a tweed
Broken in by a greedy
Broker who went broke
And then broke down
MAN
Yeah, baby
WOMAN
I got twenty yellow
French-cut trenchcoats
Worn by Warren Beatty
In a movie -- for real
I got cashmere
Or if you're thinking cash, dear
If you've got the cash
We're here to deal
COLLINS
You don't have to do this
ANGEL
Hush your mouth, it's Christmas
COLLINS
I do not deserve you, Angel
Give -- give
All you do
Is give
Give me some way to show
How you've touched me so
ANGEL
Wait -- What's on the floor?
Let's see some more
No - No - No - No
Kiss me, it's beginning to snow
MARK
She said "Would you light my candle"
And she put on a pout
And she wanted you
To take her out tonight?
ROGER
Right
MARK
That's great!
ROGER
She was more than OK
But I pushed her away
It was bad -- I got mad
And I had to get her out of my sight
MARK
Wait, wait wait -- You said she was sweet
ROGER
Let's go eat -- I'll just get fat
It's the one vice left when you're dead meat
No kisses...
MARK
I saw Maureen
ROGER
No alcohol
MARK
She's in the lot
ROGER
No sex
MARK
She's still my care
ROGER
Look that's her there
MARK
Where?
ROGER
There -- That's her
MARK
Maureen?
ROGER
Mimi!
MARK
Wo!
ROGER
I should go
BOTH
Hey -- it's beginning to snow
COPS
I'm dreaming of a white, right Christmas
MIMI & JUNKIES
Follow the man -- Follow the man
With his pockets full of the jam
Follow the man -- Follow the man
Help me out, Daddy, if you can
Got any D Man?
THE MAN
I'm cool
MIMI & JUNKIES
Got any C man?
THE MAN
I'm cool
MIMI & JUNKIES
Got any X
Any smack
Any horse
Any Jugie Boogie Boy
Any blow?
I'm willin' -- I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off
Gotta run, gotta ride
Gotta gun, gotta hide, gotta go
MAN
I know
ROGER
Hey
MIMI
Hey
ROGER
I just wanna say
MIMI
What?
ROGER
I just wanna say
THE MAN
Hey man, you're in my space
I shoulda known that familiar face
Where ya been buying?
Some other place?
Is this your lovely lady?
Lookin good, Ace
ROGER
I just wanna say
I'm sorry for the way
MIMI
Forget it
ROGER
I blew up
Can I make it up to you?
MIMI
How?
ROGER
Dinner party?
MIMI
That'll do
THE MAN
Hey loverboy -- cutie-pie
you steal my client -- you die
ROGER
You didn't miss me -- you won't miss her
You'll never lack for customers
JUNKIES
I'm willin' -- I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off
Gotta run, gotta ride
Gotta gun, gotta hide -- gotta go
THE MAN
And it's beginning to snow
MAUREEN
Joanne!
JOANNE
Alright, Maureen!
JUNKIES
Got any C man?
Got any D man?
Got any B man?
Got any Crack?
Got any X?
VENDOR
L.L. Bean, Geoffrey Beene
Burburry zip out lining
ROGER
Mark, this is Mimi
She'll be dining with us
VENDOR
Here's a new arrival
THE MAN
That is an ounce
VENDORS
Hats, dats, bats
COLLINS
That's my coat!
VENDOR
We give discounts
MARK
I think we've met
ANGEL
Let's get a better one
COLLINS
It's a sham
MIMI
That's what he said
THE MAN
I said it's a gram!
COLLINS
But she's a thief
ANGEL
But she brought us together!
VENDORS
Shoes, boots, screws
COLLINS
I'll take the leather
HOMELESS & VENDORS (from book -- may not be actual lyrics)
Christmas bells are swinging
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are singing
In my dreams -- Next year
Once you donate, you can go
Celebrate in Tuckahoe
You'll feel cheery
I'll feel cherry
Tho I don't really know that theory
No bathrobe
No steuben glass
No cappucino makers
No pearls, no diamonds
No Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
No room at the Holiday Inn -- Oh no
COPS
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Jingle bells -- prison cells
Fa la la la la -- fa la la la la
You have the right to remain
Silent night holy night
Fall on your knees oh night divine
You'll do some time
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la la
JUNKIES
Got any C man?
Got any D man?
Got any B man?
Got any X? Crack?
I'm willin' -- I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off
C-D help me
Follow the man follow the man
Follow the man
Jugie boogie jugie boogie
Follow the man follow the man
Any crack any x any jugie boogie boy
Any blow any x any jugie boogie boy
Got any D man got any C man
Got any X any jugie boogie
COAT VENDOR
Twenty-five
ANGEL
Fifteen
COAT VENDOR
Twenty-five
ANGEL
Fifteen
COAT VENDOR
No way
Twenty-four
ANGEL
Fifteen
COAT VENDOR
Twenty-four
ANGEL
Fifteen
COAT VENDOR
Not today
Twenty-three
ANGEL
Fifteen
COAT VENDOR
Twenty-three
ANGEL
Fifteen
It's old
COAT VENDOR
Twenty-two
ANGEL
Fifteen
COAT VENDOR
Twenty-one
ANGEL
Fifteen
COAT VENDOR
Seventeen
ANGEL
Fifteen
COAT VENDOR
Fifteen
ANGEL & COAT VENDOR
Sold!
MARK & ROGER
Let's
Go to
The lot -- Maureen's performing
MIMI
Who's Maureen?
ROGER
His ex
MARK
But I am over her
ROGER
Let's not hold hands yet
MIMI
Is that a warning?
ALL THREE
He/You/I
Just
Need(s)
To take it slow
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I ...
ALL
And it's beginning to
And it's beginning to
And it's beginning to --
MAUREEN
Last night I had this dream
ALL
Snow!
Top
OVER THE MOON
MAUREEN
Last night, I had this dream. I dreamt I was in a desert. It was hot.
My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty. I happened upon a herd
of cattle. They too were lost. Even worse -- they were blind. I asked a
cow, Elsie, what blind cattle were doing in the desert. She said she
wasn't blind. She was visually challenged. She gauged her eyes out!
She gauged her eyes out! Did you sleep with your mother and murder your
father, I asked. "Worse," she said. "I got cable." She said, "Only
thing to do is jump over the moon. Only thing to do is jump over the
moon." Wait a minute. I have cable too, I said. But I haven't blinded
myself and wandered into the desert. My lips were chapped and dried. I
needed a Diet Coke. "This desert was once an orchard," she said. "And
the fruit that grew here was rare-fertilized with milk and honey. They
laid the cable. And the fruit dies. Only one way to restore..."
BACKUPS
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith
MAUREEN
"Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Only thing to do is jump over
the moon". Children, artists, lovers, jump over the moon every day! I
can't get off the ground! Children, artists, lovers possess the to awe,
compassion, imagination. Cows do not! It's like I've got this meat hook
stuck in my back. Fastened to a long, black cable! I blinded myself cuz
I wanted to see. To jump over the moon.
BACKUPS
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith
MAUREEN
Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Then another cow approached,
Ferdinand. "That's bull", he said. "Their eyes gave out cuz they read
too many books and newspapers. They thought they saw degradation -- it
was depravity. They thought they saw greed -- it was merely survival.
They thought they saw disease -- it was justice. This is just a dry
spell. Before we know it, the fruit will reappear". "Not without a
leap of faith," Elsie said. She asked if I was still thirsty. Parched.
"Have some milk." I lowered myself beneath her. Held my mouth up to her
swollen udder and sucked the sweetest milk I had ever tasted.
(sucking noise)
And as I wiped my mouth off with my pajama sleeve, a harvest moon rose
out of the dream horizon. Elsie reared back and sprang into a gallop!
Leaping, finally she was airborne! Soaring over the desert, beyond the
cable, until she was zooming out of orbit! And I awoke singing...
BACKUPS
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith
MAUREEN
Only thing to do
Only thing to do is jump
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
The moon -- The moooon
Mooooooooooon
Moooooooooooo
Moooooooooooo
Thank you.
Top
LA VIE BOHEME
RESTAURANT MAN
No please no
Not tonight please no
Mister -- can't you go
Not tonight -- can't have a scene!
ROGER
What?
RESTAURANT MAN
Go, please go
You -- hello sir --
I said no
Important customer
MARK
What am I -- Just a blur?
RESTAURANT MAN
You sit all night -- you never buy
ROGER
That's a lie -- That's a lie
I had a tea the other day
RESTAURANT MAN
You couldn't pay
ROGER
Oh yeah
COLLINS
Benjamin Coffin III -- here?
RESTAURANT MAN
Oh no!
ALL
Wine and beer!
MAUREEN
The enemy of Avenue A
We'll stay
RESTAURANT MAN
Oiy Vey!
COLLINS
What brings our distinguished slum lord to the Life Cafe?
BENNY
Hold on boys
Gotta do a little business
So you're off the hook for now
ROGER
The video franchise?
BENNY
Who said you're not smart?
ROGER
Blockbuster
GIRLS
Blockbuster?
PERSON
Blockbuster!
MAUREEN
Wow!
BENNY
Mimi -- I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
They make fun -- yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead
MARK
Dearly beloved
We gather here to say our good-byes
COLLINS & ROGER
Dies irae -- dies illa (etc)
MARK
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass -- you bet your ass to --
La vie Boheme
ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
MARK
To days of inspiration
Playing hookey, making something out of nothing
The need to express --
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane
Going mad
To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad
To riding your bike,
Midday past the three piece suits
To fruits -- to no absolutes --
To Absolut -- to choice --
To the Village Voice --
To any passing fad
To being an us for once
Instead of a them
ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
MAUREEN
Is the equipment in a pyramid?
JOANNE
It is, Maureen
MAUREEN
The mixer doesn't have a case
Don't give me that face
(Maureen slaps her)
LADY
Ahem!
MAUREEN
Hey sister -- she's my sister
RESTAURANT MAN
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls
GIRL
Ugh
COLLINS
It tastes the same
MIMI
If you close your eyes
RESTAURANT MAN
And seven orders of fries
Is that it here?
ALL
Wine and beer!
ANGEL & MIMI
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou
MAUREEN & COLLINS
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation
MARK
Mucho masturbation
MAUREEN & COLLINS
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new
COLLINS
To Sontag
ANGEL
To Sondheim
FOUR PEOPLE
To anything taboo
COLLINS & ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage
COLLINS
Lenny Bruce
ROGER
Langston Hughes
MAUREEN
To the stage
PERSON #1
To Uta
PERSON #2
To Buddha
PERSON #3
Pablo Neruda, too
MARK & MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em
ALL
La vie Boheme
MAUREEN
And wipe the speakers off before you pack
JOANNE
Yes, Maureen
MAUREEN
Well -- hurry back
LADY
Sisters?
MAUREEN
We're close
ANGEL, COLLINS, MAUREEN, MARK
Brothers!
MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & OTHERS
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana
COLLINS, MAUREEN, ROGER & OTHERS
CBGBs, De la sota, tabouli
Body fluids, KS lesions, funny looks
Transfusions, silence equals death, dairy
Including Cannabis santiva, Camel lights
Carmen Miranda, Nirvana
COLLINS
To marijuana
ALL
To sodomy,
It's between God and me
To S & M
BENNY
Waiter, waiter, waiter
ALL
La vie Boheme
COLLINS
In honor of the death of Bohemia, an impromptu salon will commence
immediately following dinner. Mimi Marquez, clad in bubble wrap, will
perform her famous lawn chair handcuff dance to the sounds of ice tea
being stirred!
ROGER
Mark Cohen will preview the documentary he'll never finish, "The
parting of the red sea" about his inability to hold an erection on the
high holy days, starring his former lover's current female lover as
himself!
MARK
And Maureen Johnson, back from a spectacular one-night engagement at
the 11th street lot, will sing Native American tribal chants backward
through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello --
which she has never studied!
(privately to Maureen)
Meet you in the bathroom.
MAUREEN
You're not serious?!
MARK
I am.
MAUREEN
How was the show?
MARK
You know you're good
I'll bring the dental dam
MAUREEN
Don't take this the wrong way
But Mark, honey, take a hike
MARK
You wouldn't consider an auld lang syne between friends!?
MAUREEN
Hello?! I'm a dyke!
LADY
Another brother?
MAUREEN
Ex-lover
PERSON
Roger will attempt to commit to an ending to his bittersweet evocative
guitar solo symbolizing the death of Kinipsy!
MARK
Not now, Roger.
COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris
while accompanying herself on the ten-gallon plastic pickle tub.
ANGEL
And Collins will recount to us his exploits as anarchist, including the
tale of his successful reprogramming of the MIT virtual reality
equipment to self-destruct as it broadcast the words:
ALL
"Actual reality -- Act Up -- Fight AIDS"
MIMI
Excuse me -- did I do something wrong?
I get invited -- then ignored -- all night long
ROGER
I've been trying -- I'm not lying
No one's perfect. I've got baggage
MIMI
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine
ROGER
I should tell you --
MIMI
I've got baggage too
ROGER
I should tell you
BOTH
Baggage -- wine --
OTHERS
And beer!
GIRLS & GUYS (alternating)
Rest in peace
Bon Voyage
Goodbye Bohemia
You're much to young to die
ALL
Here's one last toast
For you our heart still throbs
Send back your ghost
Or else we'll have to get real jobs
To Dance!
MIMI & GIRL
No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection
Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders!
ALL
Film!
MARK
Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations,
Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze!
COLLINS, MAUREEN & MIMI
Music!
ANGEL & ROGER
Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation,
Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition!
ALL
Anarchy!
MAUREEN
Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions,
Forcing changes, risk, and danger
Making noise and making pleas!
ALL
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too
MAUREEN
To me
MARK
To me
A PERSON
To me
ALL
To you, and you and you, you and you
To people living with, living with, living with
Not dying from disease
Let he among us without sin
Be the first to condemn
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
MARK
Anyone out of the mainstream
Is anyone in the mainstream?
Anyone alive--with a sex drive
OTHERS
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
MARK
Tear down the wall
Aren't we all?
The opposite of war isn't peace...
It's creation!
ALL
Viva La Vie Boheme!
Top
AZT BREAK/ MAUREEN AND JOANNE'S FIGHT
(sound of beepers going off)
COLLINS
AZT break!
ANGEL
DDT!
MAUREEN
The ever-popular DDC-Zovarc's-Prozac cocktail!
(JOANNE walks in on MAUREEN)
This is not what you think.
JOANNE
Then what? Why use it?
MAUREEN
Joanne, it's just Mark.
ROGER
You?
MIMI
Me -- you?
ROGER
Mimi
JOANNE
By the way -- I almost forgot
They're rioting back at the lot
Benny says evict
Cops don't know what they're doing
No one's leaving
They're sitting there mooing
Thank you Joanne
For everything you've done -- oh don't mention it
I love being a wreck
WAITER
I'll bring the check
Top
I SHOULD TELL YOU
ROGER
I should tell you
I should tell you
MIMI
I should tell you
I should tell you
ROGER
I should tell you I'm disaster
I forget how to begin it
MIMI
Let's just make this part go faster
I have yet -- to be in it
I should tell you
ROGER
I should tell you
MIMI
I should tell you
ROGER
I should tell you
MIMI
I should tell that I can't sleep at night
I'm scared to close my eyes
ROGER
Lately I'm so filled with fright
I rarely share -- I criticize
MIMI
I should tell you
ROGER
I should tell you
MIMI
I should tell you
ROGER
I should tell you
MIMI
I should tell my style of fighting
I don't move, gaze or speak
ROGER
I get flustered with my writing --
Catatonic for a week
MIMI
I should tell you
ROGER
I should tell you
MIMI
I should tell you
BOTH
I should tell --
Well, here we go
Now we --
MIMI
Oh no!
ROGER
I know -- this something is
Here goes
MIMI
Here goes
ROGER
Guess so
It's starting to
Who knows
MIMI
Who knows
ROGER
Do what it does
MIMI
We'll go where
ROGER
I know -- there because
MIMI
Because we're starting to
ROGER
Something
Guess so
MIMI
Who knows
BOTH
Trusting desire -- starting to learn
Walking through fire without a burn
Clinging -- a shoulder, a leap begins
Stinging and older, asleep on pins
So here we go
Now we --
ROGER
Oh no
MIMI
I know
ROGER
Oh no
BOTH
Who knows where
Who goes there
ROGER
Who knows
MIMI
Who knows
ROGER
Who goes
MIMI
Who goes
BOTH
Here goes -- Here goes
Here goes -- Here goes
Here goes
Top
Rent Workshop Lyrics Act II
VOICE MAIL #3
(phone rings)
BENNY
The funeral is today at 9 a.m. at the Meeting House on 11th Street in Avenue B.
SECRETARY
If Mimi Marquez is at this number, please call Dr. White at 338-4322. On Monday
November 2nd between 3:00 and 3:15 your bloodwork is in and it's vital you talk
to the doctor. Also Mimi remember you also still owe $111.68 on your last bill,
the new one will cost $238.31, making your October balance $349.99 -- due
immediately. If Mimi is not at this number, uh...Happy Halloween.
Top
SEASONS OF LOVE
COMPANY
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure -- measure a year?
In daylights -- In sunsets
In midnights -- In cups of coffee
In inches -- In miles
In laughter -- In strife
In -- Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love
SOLOIST #1
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?
SOLOIST #2
In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died
ALL
It's time now - to sing out
Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love
Remember the love
Remember the love
Measure in love
SOLOIST #1
Measure, measure your life in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love
Top
OUT TONIGHT
MIMI
What's the time?
Well it's gotta be close to midnight
My body's talking to me
It says, "Time for danger"
It says "I wanna commit a crime
Wanna be the cause of a fight
Wanna put on a tight skirt and pretend
You're a stranger"
I've got an itch to be a bitch
I need to laugh like a child
C'mon I've bought -- I know a spot
Where it's hot not to go wild
We don't need any money
I always get in for free
You can get in too
If you get in with me
Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna play?
Let's run away
We won't be back till next Valentine's Day
Take me out tonight (meow)
MAUREEN (Into phone)
Forget me not?
I can't forget you, Mark
It's like forgetting a brother a friend -- that too
Well, thanks for the -- Mark stop crying!
No, this is not a phase I'm going through
MIMI
I've had a knack from way back
At breaking the rules once I learn the games
Get up - life's too quick
I know someplace sick
Where this chick'll dance in the flames
When I get a wink from the doorman
Do you know how lucky you'll be?
That you're on line with the feline of Avenue B
Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna prowl
Be my night owl?
Well take my hand we're gonna howl
Out tonight
ANGEL (In the background)
He loves me -- he loves me more
He loves me -- he loves me more (etc.)
MAUREEN
It's me.
JOANNE
Traditional Chinese medicine offers a holistic approach -- using acupuncture.
MAUREEN
Do I care?
JOANNE
Not if you don't!
MAUREEN
Kiss?
JOANNE
No - I can't take this!
MIMI
In the evening I've got to roam
Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome
Feels too damn much like home
When the Spanish babies cry
So let's find a bar
So dark we forget who we are
And all the scars from the
Nevers and maybes die
Let's go out tonight
Have to go out tonight
You're sweet
Wanna hit the street?
Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?
Just take me out tonight
Please take me out tonight
Don't forsake me -- out tonight
I'll let you make me -- out tonight
Tonight -- tonight -- tonight
Top
SEASONS OF LOVE #2
COMPANY
In diapers -- report cards
In spoke wheels -- in speeding tickets
In contracts -- dollars
In funerals -- in births
In -- five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you figure
A last year on earth?
Figure in love
Figure in love
Figure in love
Measure in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love
Top
VOICE MAIL #4
(phone rings once)
MAUREEN
April is the cruelest month. You can reach Joanne at 784-3321. Anyone but Mark
-- please leave a message.
(Dial tone as Mark hangs up the phone)
Top
WITHOUT YOU
MAUREEN
Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows
Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play
The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you
The earth turns
The sun burns
But I die
Without you
Without you
The breeze warms
The girl smiles
The cloud moves
Without you
The tides change
The boys run
The oceans crash
The crowds roar
The days soar
The babies cry
Without you
The moon glows
The river flows
But I die
Without you
JOANNE
The world revives
MAUREEN
Colors renew
BOTH
But I know blue
Only blue
Lonely blue
Within me, blue
Without you
MAUREEN
Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats
JOANNE
Without you
The eyes gaze
The legs walk
The lungs breathe
BOTH
The mind churns
The heart yearns
The tears dry
Without you
Life goes on
But I'm gone
MAUREEN
Cause I die
Without you
JOANNE
Without you
BOTH
Without you
Top
VOICE MAIL #5
(phone rings once)
COLLINS
We went to steal an air-conditioner.
ANGEL
We'll be right back.
STUDENT
Um, professor Collins, um, I'll be a freshman in your class this fall. Um, the
summer reading list, um, the bookstore in Dayton didn't have "The Story of O".
So I'm wondering -- he said he was gonna steal an air-conditioner! Maybe this
isn't the right number.
Top
CONTACT
COMPANY
Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
Sticky-licky-trickle-tickle
Steamy-creamy-soaking-stoking
COLLINS
Touch!
MAUREEN
Taste!
MIMI
Deep!
COLLINS
Dark!
MAUREEN
Kiss!
COLLINS
Beg!
MIMI
Slap!
MIMI, MAUREEN & COLLINS
Fear!
COLLINS
Thick!
COLLINS, MIMI & MAUREEN
Red, red
Red, red
Red, red -- please
MAUREEN
Harder
ANGEL
Faster
MAUREEN
Wetter
MIMI
Bastard
COLLINS
You whore
MAUREEN
You cannibal!
MIMI & ANGEL
More!
MAUREEN
You animal!
MAUREEN, COLLINS & MIMI
Fluid no fluid no contact yes
No contact
ALL
Fire fire burn--burn yes!
No latex rubber rubber
Fire latex rubber latex bummer
Lover bummer
ANGEL
Take me
Take me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today me
Tomorrow you
Tomorrow you
Love
you
Love you
I love
You I love
You!
Take me
Take me
I love you
ROGER'S VOICE
Um
JOANNE'S VOICE
Wait
MIMI'S VOICE
Slipped
COLLINS' VOICE
Shit
JOANNE'S VOICE
Ow!
ROGER'S VOICE
Where'd it go?
MIMI'S VOICE
Safe
COLLINS' VOICE
Damn
MAUREEN'S VOICE
I think I missed
Don't get pissed
ALL
It was bad for me -- was it bad for you?
MAUREEN
Move over
JOANNE
Move over
ROGER
It's over
MIMI
It's over
COLLINS
It's over
Top
I'LL COVER YOU #2
MIMI
Angel was one of my closest friends. I knew we'd hit it off the moment we met.
This skinhead was bothering her and she that she was more of a man he'd ever be
and more of a woman then he'd ever get.
MARK
Then there was this time when he walked right up to this group of tourists and
they were petrified because A, they were obviously lost and B, they had probably
never spoken to a drag queen before in their lives. And he, she, offered to
escort them out of Alphabet City and then let them take a picture of her and
then said she'd help them find the Circle Line.
MAUREEN
You were so much more original then any of us. You'd find an old tablecloth on
the street and turn it into a dress and sure enough next year they'd be mass
producing them at The Gap. You always said how lucky you felt that we were all
friends, but it was us wasn't it? We were the lucky ones.
COLLINS
Live in my house
I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back
With one thousand kisses
Be my lover
And I'll cover you
Open your door -- I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there -- I'll cover you
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you were, my love, on life
All my life
I've longed to discover
Something as true
As this is
SOLOIST #1
So with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you iwht a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you
COLLINS
If you're cold and you're lonely
You've got one nickel only
When you're worn out and tired
When your heart has expired
COMPANY
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred -- measure a year
Oh lover I'll cover you
Oh lover I'll cover you
Top
GOODBYE LOVE
MIMI
You said you that you were leaving town last week
ROGER
You said that Benny was the most disgusting yuppie scum of the earth
BENNY
You said you'd never speak to him again
MIMI
Not now
MAUREEN
Who said that you have any say in who she says things to at all?
JOANNE
You said you'd stick to your own problems
MAUREEN
You said you'd give me some space
JOANNE
Maureen, we have this fight each night
Why can't you admit you need me
MARK
Everyone please
MIMI
He was the same way -- he was always
"Run away -- hit the road
Don't commit" -- you're full of shit
BENNY
Mimi!
JOANNE
She's in denial
MIMI
He's in denial
JOANNE
You gave an inch
When I gave a mile
MIMI
I gave a mile
ROGER
When you weren't trashed
BENNY & MARK
C'mon guys chill!
JOANNE & MIMI
I'd be happy to die
For a taste of what Angel had
MAUREEN
Don't give up Joanne
JOANNE & MIMI
Someone to live for
MAUREEN
I live for you -- I do
JOANNE & MIMI
Unafraid to say I love you
ROGER
All your words are nice Mimi
But love's not a one-way street
You'll never share real love
Until you love yourself -- I should know
COLLINS
You all said you'd be cool tonight
So please -- for my sake
I can't believe he's gone
I can't believe you're going
ALL
I can't believe this is goodbye
MARK
I hear there are great restaurants out west
ROGER
Some of the best. How could she?
MARK
How could you let her go?
ROGER
You just don't know... How could we lose Angel?
MARK
Maybe you'll see why if you face up to your pain
At least now if you try -- Angel's death won't be in vain
ROGER
His death is in vain
MARK
Use your right brain
There's so much to care about
There's me, there's Mimi
ROGER
Mimi's got her baggage too
MARK
So do you
ROGER
I don't know what I am
What I know, what to do
MARK
Who does?
ROGER
Oh God Mark -- Don't you?
MARK
Mark has got his work
They say Mark lives for his work
And Mark's in love with his work
Mark hides in his work
ROGER
From what?
MARK
From facing my failure
Facing my loneliness
Facing the fact I live a lie
ROGER
You don't live a lie -- tell you why
You never finished your film
Cause the standards you set for yourself are too high
But the fact remains that you're the one of us
With the talent and the drive
The fact remains, Mark
you're the one to survive
MARK
I know
I'm afraid the burden's gonna make me crack
ROGER
If it does just let me know - I'll come back
MARK
Why's it easier to return to a friend
Than to burn with a lover till the end?
ROGER
Not as much to lose
MARK
Mimi still loves Roger
Mimi's just with Benny
Cause Mimi's getting weak
ROGER
Mimi did look pale
MARK
Mimi's gotten thin
Mimi's running out of time
Roger's running out the door
ROGER
No more! Oh no!
I've gotta go
MARK
Anything you need in Santa Fe?
ROGER
I'll be fine -- make your film
MARK
Okay. Love you! Call.
ROGER
Love you too. I hate the fall.
(Mimi enters)
ROGER
You heard?
MIMI
Every word
You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees
You don't want to watch me die
I just came to say
Goodbye, love
Goodbye, love
Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye
Just came to say
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
goodbye
ROGER
Right brain
How do I find the right brain
I lost my map
MIMI
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye
Just came to say
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Hello -- disease
Top
REAL ESTATE
MINISTER
Hey! I said I didn't want you on these premise and I meant it! What do you
think? We give hand outs here?
MARK
Is that any way to send a boy to meet his maker?
They should have known we couldn't pay the undertaker
BENNY
What happened to rest in peace?
MARK
It's true
And they wouldn't even take an IOU -- I give up
BENNY
Don't worry about him
I'll take care of it
Alison make a note -- church donation
MARK
It must be nice to have money.
BENNY
It is.
MARK
I don't know why I do this anymore
I'm all alone and my films no prize
But I've got the stuff -- at least everybody says so
All my friends have flown or are dropping like flies
And if that's not enough I'm in love with a lezbo
My rent is due, my family's nuts
I haven't had sex in a millenium
I'm stuck with you -- I hate your guts
And it's only ten am!
BENNY
Have you considered real estate?
MARK
Real estate?
BENNY
Real estate
Have you considered real estate as a career?
Could you consider real estate?
MARK
Let me get this straight --
BENNY
Could be great
Cohen and Coffin -- like Helmsley and Speare
I know it may it sound silly
It's a notion I've had for a while
Imagine us as affiliates
We could go to town
My savvy -- your smile
There's art in every deal
Create with bricks and steal
MARK
Real estate
I don't know
ALISON
What's with him?
MARK
I start work -- I don't complete
Am I uninspired, or just a perfectionist?
I'm such a jerk, I don't compete
I can't get hired as a PA or a projectionist
I hate my hair and my goatee
I talk in my sleep
But no one's there to listen
Why do I care about film or TV?
What they ever do for me?
BENNY
Have you considered real estate?
ALISON
Real estate
BENNY
Real estate!
MARK
I should consider real estate
My life is a dump
BENNY
Do consider real estate
MARK
Real estate
BENNY
We'll collaborate
Any fool can do it
Witness Donald Trump
MARK
Maybe it's time to stop carousing
Do something else more fulfilling
Couldn't we build low income housing?
BENNY
That's an idea! I mean it! Really!
MARK
It does have its appeal
BENNY
Doing for the common deal
BENNY & MARK
Real estate!
ALISON
Anyway, there ain't no money in documentary film
I said there ain't no money in documentary film
And I know there ain't no money cause folks get funny
They like things sunny, not truthful, honey
There ain't no money in documentary films
Any idiot can turn on a camera and shoot hobos
Developing property requires vision
Take that site over there
Last year empty lot -- next year super store
Last year filthy bum --
MARK
Person!
ALISON
Okay, filthy person
Next year automatic double doors
Last year empty boxes filled with strangers
Next year Might Morphin' Power Rangers
MARK
I'm doomed forever to be poor
MARK, ALISON & BENNY (done in a round - not all lyrics are here)
There ain't no money in documentary films
There ain't no money in documentary films
There ain't no money cause folks get funny
They like things sunny, not truthful honey
There ain't no money in documentary films
BENNY
Meet you back in Scarsdale
ALISON
Last year crummy boho goon
Next year corporate tycoon
BENNY
A team like Snow White and a Dwarf
Like Edwin Coch and Steven Gorne
MARK
I'll never have that kind of zeal
And my expose will soon reveal
I'm just not cut out for...
ALL THREE
Real estate!
Top
OPEN ROAD
ROGER
Open road
Why does love erode?
Get away, you can't stay away
Look away from the mirror now
Look straight out ahead -- that's how
But how can you let her go?
Let her go
No, you can't save the world
Better save your heart
Start to close the door
Look for open road
Open road
Why can't I crack love's code?
Time to fly, no time to say goodbye
Goodbye! Just try to forget her face
Just get yourself in the race
There's a place that you have to go
Have to go
No, you can't heal the pain
Better heal your heart
Start your motor up
Take up open road
There's a hit and run cat on the highway
Another cat sits saying a prayer
I swear as I pass she's laughing my way
Where did my love go, cry her eyes
Where did my love go?
OPERATOR
The number you have reached 675-8304 has been disconnected.
(dial tone)
ROGER
Where did my love go?
No, you can't forget her eyes
You'll still protect your heart
As you start for home
Breathe it in and slow
You don't have to go
If your heart is open
Your heart is open
Your heart is open road
Top
VOICE MAIL #7
(phone rings)
MARK & ROGER
Speak!
ROGER'S MOTHER
Roger, this is your mother
Roger, honey, I don't get these postcards
"Moving to Santa Fe"
"Back in New York
Moving to Brooklyn"
Roger, where are you? -- Please call
MIMI'S MOTHER
Mimi, chica, donde estas?
Tu mama esta llamando
Donde estas Mimi -- Call
MR. JEFFERSON
Muffin -- wherever are you -- Call
MRS. COHEN
Mark -- are you there -- are you there
I don't know if he's there
We're all here wishing you were here too
Where are you Mark are you there are you where are you
Mark -- are you there -- are you there
I don't know if -- Please call your mother
Top
CHRISTMAS BELLS #4
HOMELESS PEOPLE
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
How time flies
When compassion dies
No stockings
No candy canes
No gingerbread
No safety net
No loose change
No change no
ONE HOMELESS MAN
Santa Claus is coming
ALL
Cause Santa Claus ain't coming
No room at the Holiday Inn -- again
Well, maybe next year
Or -- when
Top
RENT #3
ROGER
If I got a rope and hung myself
My face bright blue
My sneakers dangling in the air
MARK
If I bought an AK47
Shot myself
Would anyone care?
ROGER
Like Quentin Tarantino
MARK
Fuck, what does he know?
BOTH
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay last years...
Top
FINALE
(Enter Collins)
COLLINS
Salutations!
I had a little hunch that you could use a little flow
ROGER
Tutoring again?
COLLINS
Negative
MARK
Back at N.Y.U.?
COLLINS
No, no, no
I rewired the ATM at the food emporium
To provide an honorarium to anyone with the code
ROGER & MARK
The code --
Well...?
COLLINS
A-N-G-E-L
Yet Robin Hooding isn't the solution
The powers that be must be undermined where they dwell
In a small, exclusive gourmet institution
Where we overcharge the wealthy clientele
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
MARK & ROGER
Santa Fe
COLLINS
With a private corner banquette all our own
MARK & ROGER
All our own
COLLINS
We'll make it yet, we'll somehow get to Santa Fe
MARK & ROGER
Santa Fe!
ROGER
In a car this time that makes it past
ALL THREE
Oh
(enter Benny)
BENNY
Espresso Alison, espresso Alison
And Sam Boom and Salukis closed
We are the world, we are the children
Hey, choo choo Charlie
ALL FOUR
Off the Harley!
BENNY
No more fiction
This is an eviction
COLLINS
We're already moving
MARK
Gang way Blockbuster
BENNY
Blockbuster fell through
COLLINS
You have a conscience?
BENNY
My wife...
ROGER
You suck!
BENNY
I'm cut off from the trust fund
MARK
What about Mimi?
BENNY
You can stay if you pay
ROGER
What about --
BENNY
Not so loud!
MARK, ROGER & COLLINS
Mimi!
BENNY
Hey!
ROGER
How do you work these?
BENNY
Don't be a jerk please
ROGER
I'm a jerk?
BENNY
I didn't see you paying her blue cross
ROGER
I don't make money by selling out to destitute
BENNY
Out of my house you squatters
ROGER
You slumlord!
BENNY
I dumped Mimi anyways
It was a drag -- things got queer
COLLINS, MARK & ROGER
When?
BENNY
A week ago, more
MARK
Where is she?
BENNY
I assumed -- you mean she isn't here?
ROGER
Alison!
BENNY
Don't you do that!
ROGER
I just thought you might like to know --
MAUREEN
Mark! Roger! Anyone -- help!
MARK
Maureen?
MAUREEN
It's Mimi -- I can't get her up the stairs
ROGER
No!
MAUREEN
She was huddled in the park in the dark
And she was freezing
And begged to come here
ROGER
Over here
Oh, God --
MIMI
Got a light -- I know you -- you're shivering
JOANNE
She's been living on the street
ROGER
We need some heat
MIMI
I'm shivering
MARK
We can buy some wood and something to eat
COLLINS
I'm afraid she needs more than heat
MIMI
I heard that
MAUREEN
Collins will get you a doctor, honey
MIMI
Don't waste your money on Mimi, me, me
COLLINS (counting money)
Fifteen, sixteen...
MAUREEN
There, there
MIMI
Cold -- cold -- would you light my candle?
MARK
Wait, I'll sell the camera
COLLINS
Time to be on your way comrade
It's been 525,600 moments clad
We were nomads together in a no-man's land
Where man's the only beast who pays rent
And if it's spent, at least he's got to stay afloat
And he's got to have a damn good coat
Which you were like an Angel
But it's over
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye
Farewell Angel
MARK
I finished the film
MAUREEN
That's great
MARK
It's called "Today For You -- Proof Positive."
MARK & MAUREEN
God let her live
MIMI
I should tell you
I should tell you
ROGER
I should tell you
I should tell you
MIMI
I should tell you
Benny wasn't any...
ROGER
Sshh! I know
I should tell you why I left
It wasn't cause I didn't...
MIMI
Don't go
I should tell you
ROGER
I should tell you
MIMI
I should tell you
MIMI & ROGER
I love you
Walking through fire without a burn
ROGER
Clinging a shoulder
MIMI
A leap begins
ROGER
Stinging and older
MIMI
Asleep on pins
MIMI & ROGER
So here we go
Now we...
ROGER
Oh no
MIMI
I know
ROGER
Oh no
Who knows where
Who goes there
Who knows
Here goes
(Mimi collapses)
ROGER
Who do you think you are?
Leaving me alone with my guitar
(plays Musetta's Waltz)
ROGER
Mimi!
(Mimi jumps up)
MIMI
Moonstruck!
The theme from Moonstruck
MARK
Moonstruck?
MIMI
Moooooo!
MARK
I knew it sounded familiar
MAUREEN
She's drenched
MARK
Her fever's breaking
MIMI
There is no future -- there is no past
ROGER
Thank God this moment's not the last
MIMI & ROGER
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret or life is yours to miss
ALL
No other road no other way
No day but today
WOMEN
I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal is just to be
MEN
Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?
WOMEN
Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats
Life goes on
But I'm gone
'Cause I die
Without you
I die without you
I die without you
I die without you
MEN
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
ALL
No day but today
The End
All work © Jonathan Larson
We don't know who originally typed this up, so if it was you, we would be more than happy to give you credit for it! Just email us.
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