"The First Good-Bye"

"So what's wrong with him?" Yasmine asked, staring at Justin like he was some sort of specimen in a jar. Justin continued to stare straight ahead, his usual blank stare still etched on his face.

"It's been three days and he still hasn't come around," Tammy complained, picking up Justin's hand and dropping it, watching as it flopped back down effortlessly. "He's like some kind of zombie. It's creeping everyone out."

"Symptoms?" Isabella questioned, walking up beside the two girls. She and Yasmine, upon Tammy's earlier plea to come help her, had just hyper-jumped into the room. "He looks fine to me."

"Yeah," Yasmine rolled her eyes, "except for that empty stare he keeps giving everyone. That and the fact that he doesn't eat, sleep, or move voluntarily. Other than that, he's fine."

"So what's the deal with him?" Tammy wanted to know. "I mean, Melinda's been on my ass for the past two days, and they've already had to cancel their last three dates. This shit is getting serious. What are we gonna do?"

"Just let me have a quick examination of him," Yasmine said calmly, checking Jusitn's forehead and feeling his pulse.

Tammy rolled her eyes. "The doctor already did that. He said all his vital signs are fine."

"Just a precaution," Yasmine said calmly, still examining Justin. She moved her hand to his heart, then closed her eyes. Suddenly, she frowned. "That's strange," she commented to herself.

"What?" Tammy nearly hollered nervously. "What's strange?"

Yasmine refused to answer, but just continued to listen to his insides, trailing her hand up his body and to his head. Attaching her hands to the sides of his head, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, taking in what was going on inside of him. Finally, she opened her eyes swiftly. "Holy shit," she gasped in surprise.

"What?" Tammy repeated, jumping to her feet. "What?"

"There's nothing there," she whispered in response, still reeling from what she felt and saw. "There's nothing inside."

"What do you mean, 'there's nothing inside'?" Isabella frowned. "There's always something inside. He does have a brain, ya know."

"I'm not talking about that," Yasmine wrinkled her nose in annoyance. "I'm talking about something else." Turning a piercing gaze on Tammy she asked quietly, "When you saved Justin, that was a close call. How'd you manage it?"

"I just ran really fast," Tammy mumbled, looking at the floor. She knew what would happen if she told them the truth…

"And?" Yasmine arched an unbelieving eyebrow. "I mean, you told us yourself that it was close. I know that you didn't just push him out the way. The train would have hit both of y'all, then. What did you do to save him?"

"I, uh…" Tammy stammered. Looking into Yasmine's eyes, she whispered, "I pulled him fourth density."

"What?!" Isabella screamed, leaping to her feet. "Tell me you're kidding, T."

"I'm not," she mumbled. In her defense she cried, "I had to! That was the only way to save him. If I hadn't done that, he'd have surely died."

"But, T," Yasmine argued, "you and I both know that a fourth density jump is dangerous to us."

"Yeah," Isabella agreed, "and if it's dangerous to us, then it's damn near fatal to a regular person. That's why we have to do so many breathing techniques to prepare for the jump, it totally separates the spiritual part of us from the physical. A hyper jump would have been safer."

"What?" Tammy said in disbelieving annoyance. "I think not. How could a hyper jump be safer? Everyone would have seen my powers even more. It's not like with the fourth density jump where all they see is a flash of light. In a hyper jump, they'd have seen the train passing right through me and Justin." In a huff, she sat back on the bed.

"Calm down, T," Yasmine said in a soothing voice. "Nobody's blaming you. I'm just saying that the fourth density jump is why Justin is in the state he's in now."

"What do you mean?" she grumbled, shooting a quick glare at Justin, who still looked like a living dead person.

"I mean," her friend answered quietly, "when you yanked him fourth density, then back to third, you left a piece of him over there."

"What are you talking about?" Tammy sighed impatiently, her annoyance mounting.

"I mean," Yasmine said, fixing her with her a deadly glare, "that Justin is lacking his toranin."

"What the hell's a toranin?" Isabella asked with a snort.

"The toranin," she answered, pushing her black hair off of her face, "is the part of you that makes you who you are, ya know?"

"No," Isabella and Tammy said together.

Yasmine sighed in frustration. "It's what makes Justin… well, Justin. It's kind of like what sets you apart as an individual. It's just…" She made another sound of frustration as she searched for the right words to explain to her friends. Finally, she tried again, "It's like, Justin's alive now, but only in the physical sense. Right now, he's just a body… a shell. The toranin is what makes him more than that."

"You mean, like a soul?" Isabella offered.

"I guess," Yasmine said reluctantly. "I mean, I hesitate to use the word 'soul', but if that's what helps to make you understand, then I'll just say that it's like the cousin of the soul. It's what colors it. The soul is what makes you alive, the toranin is what makes you who you are. Like, a soul without the toranin is like a picture that hasn't been colored yet."

"Okay," Tammy nodded in understanding. "So when I pulled him out of fourth density, his toranin had already separated from his body and couldn’t reconnect with it quick enough?"

"Exactly," she nodded. "Now," she continued, "we have to get it back."

"How?" Isabella wanted to know.

"We gotta go fourth density and get him," Yasmine shrugged.

Isabella immediately shook her head adamantly. "Uh-uh," she snorted. "No way. I am not goin' fourth density. That shit is dangerous as hell. As a matter of fact, I'm surprised y'all came back when y'all got me."

"C'mon, Belle," Tammy whined. "I need you."

"No," she said stubbornly. "This is your mess, and I ain't in it. Besides," she said, wrinkling her nose in disgust, "I don't wanna see Justin anymore than I have to."

"Get over it, Isabella," Yasmine snapped, still looking into Justin's eyes. "You're going and that's it. So what if you screwed him? You didn't do it willingly, the black widow made you. Sheesh."

"Fine," she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. "Let's get this over with." Glaring at Tammy she asked, "How much time do we have anyway?"

"We have about an hour until the guys get back from their promos," Tammy said with a shrug.

"Well," Yasmine estimated, "since fourth density time is three times faster than third density time, that actually means that we have only twenty minutes until they get back."

"So let’s do this already," Isabella grumbled, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Yasmine and Tammy joined her, locking hands and focusing their energies. As their breathing steadied, they slowly felt themselves falling away, and knew that they were "there".

Once they opened their eyes, they saw the usual gray landscape. In the far distance though, there was what resembled someone's version of "the Garden of Eden". Walking over to the isolated paradise, Tammy wondered how much Justin knew about the wonders of dwelling in the fourth density.

As Tammy and Isabella marveled at the environment Justin obviously had created, Yasmine spotted him sitting under a palm tree, munching on fruit. "Hey there!" she called, jogging over to him. Tammy and Isabella quickly followed.

He glanced up calmly. "Wassup?" he asked nonchalantly, going back to his peach.

"Nothing," Yasmine grinned, glancing at Tammy and Isabella. She wondered if he even aware that he was fourth density, but her quick glance to her friends told them to let her do the talking. Yasmine didn't quite want to clue Justin in to his whereabouts just yet. "How ya doin'?"

"Fine," he grinned finally. "How's about you?"

"I'm cool," she nodded. From behind her, Tammy let out a sigh of exasperation.

"Enough of the small talk," she glared at Yasmine. Turning back to Justin she said bluntly, "Do you know where you are?"

"Heaven?" Justin asked innocently.

"What the hell would make you think that?" Isabella snorted, finally looking him in the eye for the first time since she'd regained control of her will again.

"Well," Justin shrugged, finishing off the last of his fruit, "I assume that I died. I got hit by a train, remember? I saw the train coming, then a bright light, and here I am. If I ain't on Earth, then I must be in Heaven, 'cause I'm surely dead."

Isabella snorted again. "Like you could get into Heaven."

Justin snorted back at her. "You obviously did, so it can't be that hard for me." Turning back to Tammy he said, "So am I right? I'm in Heaven, right?"

"No, Justin," she sighed, ignoring Yasmine's glare, "you're not in Heaven."

"So where am I?" he asked with a disbelieving chuckle. "Oz?"

"Nope," Tammy said bluntly, "you're in another dimension."

Justin looked at her with a blank expression, then laughed loudly. "Good one, T," he said, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes. "You sound like Dr. Spock from 'Star Trek'."

"But you are, dumb ass," Isabella rolled her eyes. "You really think Heaven is like this?"

Justin nodded. "Mm-hmm. I'm happy, healthy, and I have magic powers."

"Magic what?" the three girls asked together, the shock present in their voices.

"Magic powers," Justin grinned. "I can create anything I want. Watch," he said. Waving his hand in the air, a professional basketball court appeared, and a ball shimmered into existence in his hands. "Cool, huh?" he said with a little laugh.

"Justin," Tammy called, then stopping as he completely zoned her out to go shoot around. "Justin!" she snapped, walking over to him and taking the ball away. "Would you stop acting stupid and just listen to me?" Once she had his complete attention, she continued, "You're not dead, okay? You're in something called the fourth density."

"The fourth what?" Justin asked, reaching for his ball.

"Density," she repeated, holding the ball out of reach. "You're not dead, okay? I can't go into all the details, but trust me when I say that you have to go back third density where everyone else is."

"So," Justin said slowly, "Joey and JC and everybody else that's alive is third density? So what am I? I mean, I still feel like I'm third density."

"Well," Yasmine interjected, "a piece of you got separated from your physical body somehow, so that's why you're here."

"And you have to go back," Isabella said bluntly. She reached out to grab his arm, but drew back in surprise when he yanked his hand away.

"No," he said stubbornly. "I'm staying."

"No?" the girls repeated. Isabella continued, "Look, boy, we ain't playin' wit' you. We don’t have time to be bullshittin' around with you, so you gotta come on now."

"No," Justin repeated, louder this time. "I'm not goin' anywhere. I like it here."

"But, Justin," Tammy said, "you have to go back. You don't belong over here. No one does."

"How do you know?" he scowled. "And what are you guys doing fourth density anyway? Y'all don't belong over here. It's only for dead people."

"For the last time," Yasmine finally exploded, "you're not dead! Now come on!"

"No," Justin said, "it's great over here. There's no screaming fans, no demanding tours, and I can just rest. I don't have a need for money, and I'm all alone, just how I like it."

"But J," Tammy tried to convince him, "what about your fans? They love you, and they want to see more of you. You touch millions of people's lives, whether you know it or not. The world needs you."

"Aren't you kind of exaggerating a bit?" Isabella muttered.

"Besides," she continued, shooting a quick glare at her Hispanic friend, "think about everything you'll miss. Your family…"

"Your friends," Isabella added helpfully, finally feeling guilty about giving Justin such a hard time.

"Tammy," Yasmine whispered, "we have one minute… as a matter of fact, the boys are in the elevator of the hotel right now."

"C'mon J!" Tammy begged. "Think about that rush you feel when you get on stage, knowing that hundreds of thousands of people are screaming for you. You love that… you live for that. Don't blow it by staying here. If we leave, you can't go back." She glanced at him, searching his face for any type of reaction, and disappointed when she got none.

Finally, he shrugged. "Fine," he grinned. "I'll go back. I'll miss paradise, but not as much as I'll miss my family and 'NSync." He held out his hands to Tammy and Isabella. "Let's go."

Isabella glanced uneasily at his hand, then looked at his face. He nodded for her to take his hand, and after seeing nothing but a look of brotherly affection in his eyes, she smiled and clasped his hand in hers. Taking Yasmine's hand in her other hand, she said, "Let's get him back."

They began their obligatory breathing exercises, and gently pulled Justin out of the fourth density. As they shimmered out of that dimension, Justin commented casually, "Man, am I going to have a story to tell the guys."

"No, you won't," Isabella said. Lowering her voice slightly, she looked him in the eye and whispered, "The fourth dimension is but a dream from the view of the third. You will forget. Forget, Justin…"

The three woke up next to Justin, who was rubbing his eyes and yawning sleepily. "Hey, guys," he grinned. "Where are the others?" Right then, the door to his hotel room opened and the other members of 'NSync, their bodyguards, and Johnny entered with balloons and cards from fans.

"Justin!" Lance exclaimed happily. "You're okay!"

"Of course I am," he looked at his friend as if he had grown another head. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"In case you've forgotten," Chris remarked dryly, "not even three days ago, you were almost killed by an oncoming train."

"Really?" Justin yawned. "I thought that was just a dream."

Everyone in the room stared at him, their mouths gaped open in shock. Finally, Chris broke the silence by nodding and saying seriously, "Yup. The after effects of the shock have officially set in. Either that or the pain of not getting any for almost a week."

The entire room exploded in laughter, and Tammy got up and gave Justin a hug. "I'm glad you're okay," she whispered in his ear. "I was worried sick."

"I wasn't," Justin whispered back. "I knew you'd save me. You're my guardian angel, and I have faith in you."

For some reason, his sincere statement left Tammy with an uneasy feeling, and she wasn't sure why. Later that night, as she lounged on the balcony of the hotel with Yasmine and Isabella, the answer came to her. "Justin lied," she said to Yasmine.

Her friend glanced up and stared at her quizzically. "Huh?"

"Justin lied," Tammy repeated, a frown marring her pretty face.

"How do you mean?" Isabella asked, genuinely confused.

"I'm not his guardian angel," Tammy shrugged. "I'm none of their guardian angels."

"Yeah, you are," Yasmine argued, lounging back in her chair. "I can't count how many times you've saved Justin. And Lance. You're 'NSync's informal bodyguard." She laughed as she finished her sentence.

"No," Tammy pressed stubbornly. "I'm a danger to them. They wouldn't have been in any of those situations if I hadn't been here. Melinda was right."

"Fuck her," Isabella sniffed. "You're not a danger, you're a savior. We all are."

"I think not," Tammy said. "We're all a danger to them. Think about all the shit we've been in since I started going on tour with them. The fight with Shilen, Gentro, Tilox and his bitch Uriel… then, there's that whole necklace incident. Isabella being possessed and abducting Lance and making Justin damn near kill me and Yasmine…"

"That was an accident," Isabella mumbled, blushing.

"I know," her friend sighed. "I'm just using that as an example. I'm just saying that by my being on tour with them, I place them in more and more dangerous situations."

"So what are ya gonna do?" Yasmine wanted to know.

In response, Tammy got up and walked back into the hotel room. Glancing at each other in confusion, Yasmine and Isabella followed her. They caught up with their friend in the living room where she had planted herself in front of the television.

"Hey, down in front!" Chris called, refusing to pull his gaze from the TV.

"Yeah," Joey said. "Move it or lose it, Tammy. 'Real Sex: 20' is on and I've never seen it."

"This won't take long," she sighed, staring at the five guys whom she had grown to love. "It is important, though."

"What's the problem?" Lance wanted to know, noting her slightly sad expression.

"I'm leaving," she announced, much to the surprise of Yasmine and Isabella.

Five pairs of eyes stared blankly at her, then at each other, trying to digest what their friend had just thrown at them. "But," JC stammered, his face portraying honest confusion, "why?"

"Yeah," Justin said, a slight pout emerging on his face. "I thought we had already talked about this. You said you weren't mad at us. That you liked being with us."

"I do," Tammy nodded. After throwing a quick glance at Yasmine and Isabella, who were hovering in the background, she continued lamely, "But you know, I feel like I have enough information on y'all's characters and the story and stuff to make the movie. It's been fun, but you know, I have to do my other projects."

"Not to sound rude or anything…" Chris began.

"Don't put yourself out," Tammy shrugged, not really caring.

"…but are you lying to us?" he finished. Looking at his friends, he continued, "I can't help but think that this is the lamest thing you've ever said to us."

Tammy sighed, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. They were making this harder than she thought it would be. "Look," she said, sharpening her tone, "don't be offended or anything. It has nothing to do with y'all." Isabella's soft snort from the corner didn't help matters any, but she continued earnestly, "I regret having to leave, but c'mon guys, really. I've been here for over three months. Your tour is almost over. It's definitely time for me to go."

"But what about the script?" Joey wanted to know.

"I've got some things written," she said vaguely, referring to the nights where she would write like a demon, yet for some reason, the story didn't seem to unfold like she thought it would. "I'm not gonna be in any breach of contract, if that's what you're worried about. The script will be finished."

"That's not what I'm worried about," Joey responded, looking offended. "I'm worried about you."

That caught Tammy by surprise. "Why?"

Joey shrugged. "I don't know," he said honestly. "There just seems to be more to you than meets the eye. And I worry that you could get hurt somehow. Call me morbid, but that's the feeling I get, ya know?"

Tammy glanced at Yasmine, who conveniently averted her gaze to the ceiling, whistling softly. "I'll be fine," she said, stepping forward and giving him a hug. "It's y'all I'm worried about." As she stood up and met his gaze, she said seriously, "But not anymore. Y'all are gonna be fine, so I'm not worried at all for y'all."

Though she should have been…

"So when are you leaving?" JC asked as he and the guys stood up and gave her a hug.

"Tonight," she answered, her face smushed into Lance's torso. "I'm about to go pack now."

"What?" Justin cried. "That soon? What's the rush?"

"You know me," she teased, "time is of the essence."

"What about your flight?" Lance asked. "Is that taken care of?"

"It will be," she answered, throwing a quick glance to Isabella, who immediately whipped out her cell phone and dialed the airlines to book a flight.

"And transportation there?" JC asked. "Do you need a ride there? We have to see you off, you know."

"I think not," Tammy replied firmly. "We should say our good-byes here so that they're less sappy, more sentimental, ya know? The airport scene is played out, anyway."

"I'm really gonna miss you, ya know," Chris said sadly.

"Don't sweat it," she laughed. "I'm not gonna be gone forever! We'll see each other at the movie release party, and I'm gonna be callin' y'all. Plus, I'll still be goin' to the concerts every now and then."

"But it won't be the same," Joey complained.

"Yeah," JC cracked, "I'm gonna have to share a room with Joey again."

"I'm gonna miss all those talks we had late at night," Justin grinned sadly.

"Stop it!" she ordered. "You're gonna make me cry."

"Good," Lance sniffed, wrapping her in another tight hug. "I wish you nothing but the best, girl," he whispered in her ear.

"Same here," she whispered back. "This time around, if you don't get a solo, blow somebody's shit up." She and Lance laughed as they continued to hug.

"My turn," Joey said after Lance let Tammy go. Wrapping his arms around her, he said, "I don't know what I'm gonna do without you. I'll have no one to go clubbing with… I'm gonna have to go back to being 'big dumb Joey'…" Tammy giggled into his neck as he continued, "I'm gonna miss you so much. I love ya, girl."

When it was JC's turn, he picked her up and spun her around, laughing the entire time. "I don't know about you," he whispered confidentially, "but hugging you really turns me on." As she hit him, he laughed again. "Seriously though," he said, "I meant what I said about you always being just Tammy in my eyes. Nothing more, nothing less. Keep showing the world what the Tammy I know can do."

Grabbing her hands as JC walked away, Chris grinned softly. "What can I say about my partner-in-clown?" he chuckled deep in his throat at the nickname he had given the two of them three months ago. "I'll keep it short and sweet," he said, serious for once. "Don’t forget me, 'cause I damn sure won't forget you. You're one in a million, and those are excellent odds to have. It's been nothing short of heaven knowing ya, and if you don't call me, I will be callin' you."

Finally, Justin stepped up to her, his boyish smile still on his face. "I don't care what you say," he stated, "but you are my guardian angel. You've gotten me out of a lot of shit, and I've learned a lot from you. And I love you for it. And I'll show you how serious I am." Taking a step back, he looked her in the eye and started to sing, "And all my life I prayed for someone like you. And I thank God that I finally found you. All my life I prayed for someone like you… and I hope that you feel the same way too. Yes, I pray that you do love me, too." Wrapping her in a tight hug, he whispered, "I love ya, Tam. And I'll miss you." Drawing back, he was slightly surprised to see tears sliding down her cheeks. Wiping them away, he said, "I'd better see you again." He quickly turned his head away, but not quick enough to hide the tears falling from his eyes.

"Sad moment, huh?" Lance said, trying to control his tears. "I honestly didn't know that your leaving would affect me so much."

"It's a gift," she said with a laugh, sniffling a bit.

Joey happened to glance at Yasmine and Isabella, who were still huddled in the corner. "Aww," he cooed, "we forgot about our exotic beauties." Wrapping them in big bear hugs, he said, "I'm sorry." The others echoed him as they embraced the two girls also.

"Too bad Serena and Michelle aren't here for us to say good-bye," JC shrugged.

"Well," Yasmine shrugged also, "I'm sure if they were here, they'd mean their good-byes from the bottoms of their hearts."

After her quick packing, Tammy planted a kiss on each of the guys' cheeks. "So this is good-bye, huh?" she said, picking up her luggage. Lonnie and the other guards were carrying her suitcases down to the cabs (since there was so much luggage) that were waiting for her.

"Yep," Justin nodded. "But no more tears."

"I wouldn't think of it," Tammy grinned lightly, winking at him. Opening the door, she glanced back one more time and sent a smile to the boys. They watched as the door closed behind her.

Just like that, she was gone.

Two weeks later, Tammy sat in her expensively furnished study and typed furiously on her computer. She was so into the script that she was writing that she barely heard her phone ring. That's how it always was. She would go into a trance-like state as she typed and the rest of the world would become non-existent. Still, the ringing of the phone was so persistent that she finally snapped out of her concentration and answered the phone in annoyance.

"Hello?" she said briskly. "Talk fast, I'm kinda busy."

"Too busy for friends?" a deep voice laughed.

"What are you talking about?" Tammy frowned. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn't for the life of her figure out who it belonged to.

"I've been watching you for a long time, Serpent," the voice continued in amusement. "I've come to realize a few of your weaknesses, and decided that now was the time to attack."

"I reiterate," Tammy rolled her eyes, "what the fuck are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about five guys who I believe are named Justin, JC, Lance, Chris, and Joey. I have them and they're not too comfortable. They'd like for you to come get them. If you don't, they'll die quite horribly. They already don't look too good. My henchmen haven't been too nice to the curly haired one. He has a bad habit of talking too much."

"You're bluffing," she snorted. Still, the one thing that bothered her was that she still couldn't place that voice, and she knew she had heard it somewhere.

"Does this sound like I'm bluffing?" he laughed, holding the phone towards his self-made torture chamber. In the distance, Tammy could hear the wails and screams of men. Suddenly, one of the screams sounded exactly like a scream Justin once did when he fell out of his harness and plummeted to the stage from four feet up.

"Shit," Tammy whispered, beads of sweat starting to form on her face. "Who is this? Tell me your name now!"

"Why, Serpent," the voice chuckled, still amused. "I'm offended. You don't know an old friend's voice when you hear it? Even though you've been looking for my face for months? Well, you and your friends took too long finding me and I got bored, so I decided to find you. Now you tell me who you're talking to."

Tammy stood stone still upon realizing who was on the other end of the line. Her nerves felt like ice, and she not only feared for herself and the other venoms, but she feared for the lives of 'NSync. Still, she forced her voice to come out calm and even. "Hello, Rakshiki," she said, on the verge of fainting, "I see we meet again."