"Inner Strength"

 "You may hate me but it ain't no lie. Baby bye, bye, bye!" the five guys sang. Their voices blended in perfect harmony, yet their faces displayed other emotions. Justin looked dejected, glancing at Tammy every couple of seconds, who scowled and kept whispering something to Yasmine, who looked worried. JC frowned as he sang, tired and anxious to get to sleep. Chris' face reflected boredom. The mall was fun and he hadn't wanted to leave. 'Sheesh,' he thought to himself, 'we sing the same damn songs every rehearsal in the same order. What, do they think we're gonna forget the words in the middle of the concert or something?' Joey looked restless, and was pissed that they were even having rehearsals. 'Here I am,' he frowned inwardly, 'in D.C., the Mecca of all clubs, yet where am I now? Practicing a song that I could sing backwards as well as forwards.' Lance, on the other hand, looked pale and sickly. 'I shouldn't have gone to the mall,' he thought, panting. 'I should have just gone to sleep. I definitely shouldn't have taken that Sudafed...' Suddenly, everything went black for him.

"Lance!" Tammy exclaimed, jumping up from her first row seat.

The other bandmates, including the actual band, ran over to Lance, who had collapsed to the floor. JC smacked Lance's cheeks lightly. "Lance?" he called. "You alright, buddy? Can you hear me?" Lance continued to lay still, his eyes shut, and his skin a deathly pale. Just then, Tammy and Yasmine walked up.

"Give him some room y'all," Tammy said, kneeling next to him. She looked at Yasmine, who was on the other side of Lance. "Yasmine?" she asked. Yasmine understood what Tammy was asking. She felt Lance's head, and drew back quickly at it's heat.

"We should call an ambulance," Joey said.

"No," Yasmine shook her head. "It's not necessary." She knelt down and put her head to Lance's chest, listening for a few moments. She looked up at the others. "They're just gonna give him a doctor's bill of over a thousand dollars for saying that he has a cold."

"Just a cold?" Chris asked, skeptical. "I've had a lot of colds in my life, and I've never collapsed. I mean never."

"I can hear it in his chest," Yasmine said. "The cold and phlegm, I mean." She looked at Tammy. "Has he been taking any medicine?"

"Sudafed," Tammy replied. "I told him not to, that shit knocks you out in ten minutes. Plus, even with his cold he was running around all over the place when he needed to be resting."

Just then, Lance slowly opened his eyes with a moan. "Where am I?" he murmured.

"We're here, man," Justin said, kneeling next to Yasmine. "You passed out on us."

"Again?" Lance whined, closing his eyes.

"Did you just make a joke?" Chris asked. He looked at his groupmates and chuckled softly, "Ya gotta love this guy."

"You think if he rested tonight that would be enough?" Johnny asked Tammy.

She shrugged. "Don't ask me. That's the next Doogie Howser right there," she said, pointing to Yasmine.

He looked at Yasmine. "What do you think? Does he need to go to a hospital?"

Yasmine shook her head. "Seriously? No. He needs rest. He's been sick like this for a while, and no doctor can cure a cold. Only your body can. With time and rest, that is," she added.

"That seals it," Johnny decided. He gestured to the bodyguards, "We gotta get him back to the hotel."

"I'll go, too," Tammy volunteered. "I can watch over him."

Which was where she was half an hour later. "I can't believe I collapsed again," Lance said tiredly, as he lay under his comforter.

"Relax," Tammy smiled. "It happens to the best of us. Try not to think about it. You're supposed to be resting."

Lance pushed his comforter away. "I'm hot," he complained.

Tammy shook her head. "I wish I knew how to take care of you better. I think you should stay under the covers, though."

As Lance closed his eyes, Tammy pulled the covers back over him. He opened his eyes and smiled softly. "Everytime I'm in trouble, or something goes wrong, you're there to help me. Everytime I close my eyes and open them again, you're there. You must be my guardian angel."

Tammy couldn't help but smile. "Maybe I am," she chuckled softly. In her mind she was thinking, "You don't know how true the angel part is, my friend."

"Could you sing for me?" Lance asked, closing his eyes and snuggling deeper into the pillow.

"Man," Tammy laughed, "you know I can't sing. I can just carry a simple tune."

"Not true," Lance replied, not opening his eyes. "Even JC says you can sing. And besides," he yawned, "I like your voice."

"Okay," Tammy relented. "But only 'cause you complimented me. Geez," she rolled her eyes, "why is singing such a major theme with you guys?"

"It might have something to do with the little fact that we're in a singing group," Lance replied.

Tammy leaned over and felt his head. Still hot, she noted. After getting a cold wet washcloth to put over his head, she settled into a chair next to his bed and started to sing. An earlier comment Lance made about her gave her and idea about which song to sing.

"I'll be your cloud up in the sky," she sang. "I'll be your shoulder when you cry. I'll hear your voices when you call me. I am your angel..." Lance's breathing grew even and deep as he drifted off.

Later that night, Joey came in to check on Lance. "How is he?" he asked Tammy.

"Hotter than he was before," Tammy replied, worried. "I don't care what Yasmine says, if his temperature doesn't go down in half an hour, he's going to the hospital."

"Want me to sit with you?" Joey asked. Even as he spoke, he suppressed a yawn.

"Nah," Tammy shook her head. "You're tired and have to be up early. Go to sleep." Joey nodded as he walked out, and Tammy continued to watch over Lance.

Justin meanwhile, was laying on the pullout couch in Yasmine's suite, wondering why Tammy was on his mind. Guilt, he decided. He knew how important her necklace was, and everything she told him earlier was right. He couldn't replace it, and he damn sure couldn't get it back. Justin turned over and buried his face in the pillow. "Why did I do such a stupid thing?" he asked himself over and over. 'But' he continued to think, trying to make himself feel better, 'how was I supposed to know that her necklace would come off? I'm not a jeweler.' He turned onto his back and looked at the ceiling as a voice taunted, "But how would you feel if you lost that platinum and diamond necklace you wear around your neck?"

"I wouldn't care," Justin answered outloud. "I could just buy another one."

"Okay," the voice challenged. "What about that ring that your childhood friend gave you before he moved away?"

"I'd be mad," Justin admitted. He continued, "But I'd get over it. Friends aren't supposed to stay mad at each other, they're supposed to try to make everything right."

"So make it right," the voice replied lightly.

"Like I know how," Justin grumbled, getting up to go to the bathroom. "I've tried everything."

"You just need a little help," the voice chuckled. Justin didn't hear that last comment, and for good reason. Justin assumed that his conscience was speaking to him the entire time, but the voice was more than that. It was an entity, and it decided that it was time Justin fixed his blunder.

As Justin walked out of the bathroom, he started to feel dizzy, as if the world tilted sideways, and he was still right side up. Suddenly, Justin felt a sensation that he never felt before. Something seemed to leap into his body, and as he stared at the walls, they became blurry and suddenly transmogrified into water. "What the hell?" Justin muttered, rubbing his eyes. "I need some sleep, man."

"There's no time for that," the voice returned.

Justin looked around, wondering what could be happening. "I'm buggin'," he decided finally. "I'm just gonna go to bed." Only, there was no bed to go to. He realized that he was submersed in water, yet could breathe just fine. "Am I high?" he wondered. He started to worry, remembering all the stories Tammy told him about people slipping LSD in someone's drink or food. As he started to ponder whether or not he had been drugged, and how it could have happened, his entire mind frame altered. The something that he felt leap into his body came back stronger, and he felt the same sensations he felt earlier, only this time it wouldn't go away. The only thought he had swirling in his brain was, "Go get the necklace."

With robot-like movements, Justin pulled on his clothes and shoes, and walked out the door. He felt like a computer, only registering his surroundings, not feeling them or having any emotional attachment. As he walked out of the hotel, his mind said, "You need a car. If you put a 'b' in place of the 'r', you will have 'cab'. A cab is a car. Now you have a car." He walked a couple of blocks and didn't see a cab. His mind registered, "This is not New York. Call a cab. To make a call you must use a phone. You have a phone in your pocket." Justin pulled out his phone and allowed his mind to dictate what he said. He was mildly surprised at how his voice sounded. It sounded… normal. "Yes," Justin said, "you can help me. I need a cab at 5^th and James Street immediately." After hanging up, he sat down on the curb, for that was what his mind told him to do.

A few minutes later, a cab pulled up and Justin got in. "Where to, sonny?" the cabbie asked, turning the meter on.

Justin opened his mouth, then realized he didn't know where he was going, or why he was even in a cab. The other him took over again, and his mind forced him to say, "The docks."

"No problem," the cabbie said, taking off. Minutes later, Justin was paying the man and hopping out of the cab. He walked up to the steel gate and wondered how to get in. His mind said, "Climb." Justin immediately hopped onto the fence and began pulling himself up. He got scratched and poked as he tried to get over the barbed wire, but his mind would not allow him to register pain. All he wanted was that damn necklace. "Got to get it," he muttered, yanking his hand off of the barb it was caught on. He pulled a large chunk of skin off and started to bleed, but did not notice. As he jumped down to the other side, he felt the sensation grow even stronger, and knew that he was supposed to go into the water. He walked to the end of the dock and felt an odd sense of de ja vu. Deep down, Justin knew he once stood at the end of a dock, and it was there that the necklace was lost. It was only natural to stand at the end of the dock again to retrieve it. Closing his eyes, Justin climbed over the rail and jumped into the water, allowing it to engulf him, surround him, and perhaps… kill him.

Tammy's eyes jerked open, and she looked around, gasping. "Where am I?" she whispered. She realized then that she was in Lance's room, in a chair next to his bed, to be more specific. 'I must have fallen asleep,' she thought. She leaned over and touched Lance's head. He was much cooler, which she was thankful for. Still, she had a strange feeling, like there was something happening and she was missing out on it. Suddenly, the dark room turned a baby blue, then black, then back to it's original beige, darkened by the absence of lights.

"Justin," Tammy whispered, leaping to her feet. Without a second thought, she ran out of the room and out of the hotel. After she exited the hotel and was on the street, she glanced around, wondering what she was even looking for. She didn't know, but as the seconds passed, she felt an unmistakable sense of dread filling her body. "Where is he?" she scowled. She looked to the sky and yelled, "Where is he? What have you done with him?" The Elders had never betrayed her before, but she still didn't know but so much about them. She knew from experience that even God's workers had an evil side. "Hell, I should know," she muttered, "I work for Him and I've done my fair share of evil deeds." She wondered what the Elders were up to, and if they would have the authority ("Fuck authority," Tammy thought, "the audacity.") to take Justin's life.

Fed up, Tammy stamped her foot on the ground screaming, "Where the fuck is he? Tell me now!" Just then, a bright bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, and as Tammy looked at it, her eyes strayed to the docks, which were in the far distance. Her sense of dread immediately increased. Tammy ran around to the back of the hotel and sat on an old box. Focusing her heart and mind only on Justin, and breathing calmly and smoothly, Tammy prepared for a hyper jump.

Seconds later, she landed with a hard thud on a pavement of sorts. "Where the hell am I?" she asked outloud. A quick glance around showed her water and a bunch of docks to her left and a tall wire gate to her right, but no sign of Justin. "Please don't tell me he's in the water," she prayed. Yet even as she prayed, she knew it was an idle prayer. One look at the water and Tammy was able to feel Justin, and he was definitely in trouble. She ran off to find him, hoping she wouldn't be too late.

Meanwhile, Justin was twenty feet underwater and dying. The other him was long gone, leaving Justin alone with nothing but the cold, black water and the fear in his heart. The sad thing was, he didn't even know what he was doing there, or how he got there. All he knew was confusion, fear, and pain. Justin felt his lungs constrict, and his heart screamed in agony. "Tammy!" his mind shouted.

Tammy jerked her head to the left, her soul hearing Justin's cry. "Justin? Where are you?" she called. She ran onto the nearest dock and to the edge of it, looking over into the water. All she saw was the choppy black water, no Justin. "Oh God," she moaned, sinking to the ground, nearly in tears. "Please help him." Right then, a miracle happened. The water stopped moving. Completely. It was totally still, as if it were locked in time.

Justin opened his eyes, and saw something glistening in the distance, not moving, suspended in time. Thinking that it was perhaps the bright light calling him to heaven, he reached his hand out toward it. He was surprised when his hand closed around it, and he brought it closer to his face. It was a small, silver bullet attached to a pure gold chain. He looked at it for perhaps three seconds, and in those three seconds something wonderful happened. He realized that the object he held in his hand was Tammy's necklace. He then came to the realization that he was under the water for quite some time and was about to die. Finally, he declared in his mind that he wasn't going to die, atleast, not without giving Tammy her necklace back and making everything right again.

His body renewed with strength, Justin paddled upwards to the surface, determined to get to the top. He felt as if some powerful force pushed him along, for when he got tired and stopped swimming, he continued to rise to the surface. Seconds later, he broke the surface, gasping for air. "I did it," he said. He looked to the sky and immediately thanked the Lord. "We did it," he whispered to the sky. He started to tread water, slowly drifting back to land. By this time, the water began to move again, and the waves acted in such a way that they actually pushed Justin's body towards the shore. Once his feet touched land, he collapsed tiredly, the necklace still clasped tightly in his hand.

Tammy stood at the rail on the dock, looking out over the water. In the distance, she saw the clouds darken, and knew that rain would be falling within seconds. It would suit her during her period of mourning, for she believed Justin was dead, even though her heart still felt him. 'Still,' she thought, 'I know he was in the water, and no one could survive those waves. He's gone,' she thought miserably, burying her face in her hands. 'I have to tell his mom that her baby boy is dead. I have to tell JC and the others that 'NSync is now officially a quartet. I have to live with the fact that I'll never see him again.'

"Wassup?" a voice said quietly from behind her.

Tammy turned around and stared in shock at a tired, pale, and soaking wet Justin. "Justin?" Tammy whispered.

He nodded. "How'd you know I was here?" he asked.

"How'd you know I was here?" she countered, still unable to look away.

"I didn't," he shrugged. "I just happened to look up at the dock and I saw you."

Tammy nodded, wanting to say something, but not quite knowing what to say. "I'm sorry" sounded too trite and predictable, yet she was dying to say it. Instead she looked at his clothes and asked, "Were you in the water?" 'Stupid! Stupid!' her mind screamed at her.

"Yeah," Justin sighed. A tear formed in the corner of his eye and fell. Then another… and another. Tammy leaned forward and wiped them away gently, but the gesture did nothing to soothe him, it only broke the dam further. Justin immediately started to sob uncontrollably, tears rushing down his face. Right then, the sky opened up and dumped gallons of water onto Tammy and Justin's head. Lightning cracked and thunder rolled in the distance, but Tammy didn't notice, though she should have paid more attention to the significance of the lightning.

The rain pounded the water and the concrete, creating a sound that filled Tammy's ears completely, blocking out the sound of Justin's sobs. "Justin, stop it," Tammy said, pulling him closer. "You'll make yourself sick."

"I can't," he choked. "I almost died out there, and I didn't even know why. I didn't even know what I was doing here. Or why I feel the way I do right now." Even as he spoke, tears fell down his face. Though the rain washed them away quickly, the tears were replaced with new ones almost instantly.

Tammy wrapped her arms around Justin and patted his back, trying her hardest to soothe him. Justin's sobs shook his entire body, leaving him trembling. "Justin," Tammy repeated, "you have to calm down, okay? You're gonna get sick." Before Tammy finished her sentence, Justin's sobbing turned into gagging.

Tammy pulled him to the rail and bent him over it, watching with pity as he emptied the contents of his stomach into the water, including all the salt water he swallowed while nearly drowning to death. For the next minute, Justin threw up over the rail, still crying and sobbing the entire time. The rain continued to pour, drenching them to the bone. When he was finished, Justin rested his head on the rail as Tammy ran her fingers gently through his wet curls. "Why won't you stop being mad?" Justin asked, raising his anguish-filled eyes and connecting them with Tammy's.

The sight nearly broke Tammy's heart in two. "I don't know, J," she said, looking down at the water. "I'm a bitch."

"No," Justin replied weakly, "I was stupid."

"We'll talk when we get back to the hotel, J," Tammy promised. She pulled him off the rail. "We gotta go before we get sick."

Justin immediately fell to the ground. "I can't," he said, closing his eyes.

"C'mon Justin," Tammy insisted. "We gotta get outta here. We're wet and cold. You're gonna catch the flu."

"I don't care," he whispered. Tammy had to lean in close to hear his comments, the rain was coming down so hard and fast. She could barely hear him over the beating rain. "What are you talking about, Justin?" she asked, genuinely confused.

"I can't move," he said tiredly. Tears formed in his eyes again. "I can barely feel my hands," he continued. "I can't even feel my legs anymore." He looked at Tammy with tear-filled eyes. "What's happening to me? Why can't I move, Tammy?"

He sounded like a confused little boy, and Tammy's heart went out to him. Even as she listened to him, she got an idea of what might have happened. Something similar happened to Isabella's younger sister Catarina before she died. Catarina found herself in an old warehouse one night, and didn't know how she got there. Immediately afterwards, she felt fatigued and completely paralyzed. Isabella later found out that some higher force was temporarily using her body. Unfortunately, the possession of her body by something else had drained her life force, killing her seconds after she told her older sister how she felt. The symptoms Justin had were similar to Catarina's, yet different. Justin was only slightly paralyzed, and still had some energy, even though it was dangerously low. Justin had been a receiver temporarily for something, but Tammy doubted it would kill him as it did Catarina. "You are one lucky guy," she whispered.

"What?" Justin whispered, closing his eyes again.

Tammy immediately started to shake him, desperate to keep him awake. Sleep was the cousin of death, and it was also the final step before the transition between life and death. "Justin!" she yelled. "Justin, baby wake up! I need you here with me all the way, okay?"

"I'm so tired," he frowned sadly.

"I know," Tammy said, slapping him softly. "And I promise you'll get to sleep as soon as we get back to the hotel. Just stay awake with me, alright?"

"Do you forgive me, T?" Justin asked, his eyes still closed.

Tammy scowled, slapping him harder. "For the necklace, yeah," she said, her voice bordering hysteria, "but if you die on me now, I don't know."

"You're always mad at me," he yawned.

Tammy decided that enough was enough. She picked up Justin effortlessly and carried him under the dock for shelter away from the rain. "What do I do now?" she asked herself. She looked at Justin, who was a deathly pale and shivering. Even his lips were tinted blue.

Tammy happened to look into the distance at the sky as four lightning bolts split the sky at once. Tammy knew those were no ordinary lightning bolts. One was orange, one was bright purple, the other was red, and the last one was yellow. "No," she moaned. "Not now. I can't do it now!" The bolts connected in the sky then dropped down to the ground, somewhere in the far distance.

"No," Tammy shook her head, fear overcoming her entire body. "I can't fight them now. Not alone. Not now. Not with Justin here. He'll see." She started to shake with fear, and fell to her knees. "Please God," she nearly shrieked with fright, "don't let them come now!" But that was one prayer God didn't answer. He needed the child to be protected, and at any cost. Tammy was forced to stare at the sky, now numb with fear, as the lightning bolts did a dance in the sky, illuminating it with its satanic colors. It was then that Tammy realized the next battle was near. She glanced at Justin, who was still in bad shape. "What do I do?" she fretted again.

Tammy was at a complete brain freeze at that point from worry, so she did the first thing that came to her mind. She picked up her cell phone and dialed a number, not even knowing who she dialed.

"Hello?" the groggy voice answered after five rings.

"Hello, JC?" Tammy said, bursting into tears and sobbing. "I need you."