'NSync's Creek
"I don't wanna wait for our lives to be over... something something something something something... so real. Doo-doo doooo-doo doo doo... doo-doop doo-doo dooo-doo..."
Justin Timberlake
Jen-something-or-other
Lance Bass
Andy McFee
JC Chasez
Chris Kirkpatrick
Joey Fatone
Joey Potter
(When we last left 'NSync and the clan of the Creek... Joey was trying to persuade Joey to have sex with him)
Joey: C'mon Joey! We've been going out for five whole minutes! How long do you expect me to wait?
Joey: Joey, you honestly cannot expect me to sacrifice my well-guarded virginity for a mere two minutes of unbridled lust, do you? I mean, that's insane, it's preposterous... it's repugnant... it's... dammit! I can't find another monumental word to describe how perturbed I am by your inane request. Hmm... inane... good word, Potter.
Joey: (looking confused) So basically, you won't have sex with me?
Joey: No, Joey! God, on how many instances do I have to pronounce your irrevocable inability to ever engage in carnal activities with me?
Joey: (sighing in annoyance) If I knew what the Hell you were saying, you'd only have to say it once. You mind speaking like a normal sixteen-year-old for once?
(We cut to Justin and Andy, who are having a heated debate)
Justin: Listen, Andy, I refuse to hook you up with Joey!
Andy: (hopping around excitedly… and somewhat spastically) But why, Justin?! He's so sweet and adorable and kind and nice to me…(finally plopping down in a chair in front of Justin) I mean, he always makes it a point to refill my prescription of anti-depressants, and as a bonus, he even adds in a few pills for me.
Justin: (frowning in suspicion) What kind of pills does he add?
Andy: (allowing a huge smile to cross her face as her legs start to quiver) I dunno… I think they're called "Spanish Fly" or something… all I know is, when I take them, this feeling just comes over me… like I get hot all over and the next thing I know, I wake up very relaxed, refreshed, and naked the next morning.
Justin: Okay… first thing's first. Don't have sex with Joey anymore. Second, don’t take any pills Joey gives you. Finally, Joey is hung up over Joey, so you don't stand a chance.
Andy: I don't think so, Justin. I mean, Joey isn't self-centered in the least. He hardly ever talks about himself. He's the most unabsorbed person I've ever met.
Justin: (running his fingers through his afro in frustration) No, idiot-girl! I mean that Fatone is obsessed with Potter, not himself! In case you've forgotten, they do share the same name.
Andy: (rising to her feet as her entire body starts to shake noticeably and tears spring to her eyes) Just what are you trying to say, Justin?
Justin: That you have a better chance with JC than you do with Joey.
Andy: But I'm not gay, Justin. I don’t like girls.
Justin: (finally losing his temper) Dammit, McFee! I mean Fatone, not Potter!
(Scene cuts to Lance and Jen, who are lounged under a pear tree)
Jen: (looking up at Lance) Wanna have sex, Lance?
Lance: (turning red) I'm sorry…?
Jen: (sitting up) I said do you want to have sex?
Lance: That's what I thought you said. No.
Jen: No?!
Lance: Yes, no.
Jen: So which is it? No?
Lance: Yes.
Jen: Great, I'll get the condom.
Lance: (grabbing her arm) Jen, no.
Jen: (sighing in frustration) So which is it, yes or no?
Lance: NO!
Jen: Are you sure?
Lance: Yes…
Jen: So you do wanna do it?
Lance: (rolling his eyes) Oh boy, this is gonna take awhile. Let's start over. Ask me the original question again.
Jen: Okay… (after a moment of confused silence) No?!
Lance: That wasn't the original question.
(Scene cuts to Chris and JC, who are cruisin' around town on bicycles)
JC: Hey Chris, what do you think about living here?
Chris: What do you mean? It's alright.
JC: I mean, there are only three chicks in this town, if you haven't noticed. Jen, Joey, and Andy… and they're all underage.
Chris: So?
JC: So I was wondering… do you think Andy would ever go for a guy like me?
Chris: Let's see… she's crazy, you're crazy. She takes anti-depressant pills, you take sleeping pills. She moves around in a spastic manner, and well… do I have to finish?
JC: Ha ha, Chris.
Chris: Man, y'all are made for each other. Too bad she's hung up over Joey, though.
JC: Which one?
Chris: I'm not sure… I think it's Potter, though. Andy strikes me as that type…
To Be Continued…
On the next episode of "'NSync's Creek"
…Jen: Lance, do you or do you not want to have sex with me?
Lance: I don't!
Jen: You don't?
Lance: Yes! For the love of God, Jen, yes!
Jen: So you do wanna have sex with me?
Lance: Somebody, please kill me.
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