'NSync's Creek (Part Two)
Lance: Okay, Jen, let's clear this up because I think you're starting to get a little confused.
Jen: Actually, Lance, I am. I don't appreciate you sending me mixed signals. Just be straight up with me for once. No games, okay?
Lance: Okay. You asked me did I want to have sex with you and my answer was no. You asked me if I was sure, and I said yes. Not yes as in I want to have sex with you, but yes as in, "Yes, I'm sure I don't want to have sex with you."
Jen: (rubbing his arm) But why don't you want to, Lance? Am I not attractive enough for you?
Lance: Oh no, that's not it! You're very attractive. It's just… er… (starts to look at the sky, then smiles widely) I'm gay! Yeah, that's it. I'm gay!
Jen: Oh, no way. When did you realize you were gay?
Lance: Um… about two seconds ago?
Jen: Are you sure you aren't just bi? 'Cause then we could still…
Lance: (Cutting her off quickly) Um, no. I'm gay. Not bi. Women do NOT attract me. Period. (Just then, an attractive blonde woman walks by with a tight dress on and Lance stares at her and begins to drool) Sweet merciful heaven, can I get a piece of that?
Jen: Lance!
Lance: (looking quickly back at Jen) What? What?
Jen: You were just drooling all over that blonde bimbo!
Lance: Uh… no I wasn't!
Jen: Um, then what did you mean by, "Can I get a piece of that?"
Lance: Um… I was talking about her dress. (adopting the stereotypical gay man lisp, he continues) I love that material! It's fabulous!
(Meanwhile, back on the other side of town…)
Justin: Andy, I cannot, no I WILL NOT let you sleep with Joey! Pure and simple. It's not gonna happen.
Andy: Justin, you don't run my life. You can't dictate what I will and will not do. Or rather, whom I will and will not do.
Justin: Andy, Joey's a user. He doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself. Besides, he's ga-ga over that Potter chick.
Andy: Did you know that Lance likes her too? I was just… ya know, hoping that maybe Lance could be the charming southern gentleman and maybe snatch her away from Joey…
Justin: Nah, I don't think that's gonna happen. Joey's hung like a fucking donkey. No woman would pass that up.
Andy: (plopping down onto a couch and sulking) God, it seems like everyone wants Joey. Potter, I mean, not Fatone.
Justin: (sitting down on the couch beside her and putting an arm around her. As she glances at him, he smiles cheesily) Not everyone wants Joey. Some people want a smart, pretty, perky blonde to brighten up their day. I know I do.
Andy: (looking longingly at Justin and licking her lips) You… do?
Justin: Yeah, it's always been my dream to have a girl that matched that discription. (leaning in closer he continues) That's why I'm dating Britney Spears.
**SLAP!**
Justin: (holding his face as Andy storms out) Ow! What'd I say?
(Meanwhile, on yet ANOTHER side of town…)
Chris: Wanna buy a hooker, Josh?
JC: Sure. Can we buy some weed, too?
Chris: I thought crack was your specialty.
JC: Not anymore. Crack is wack. Weed is the sheed.
Chris: I'm sorry?
JC: The sheed. Ya know, like, "tha shit" with a lil' ghetto twang.
Chris: O-kay. How's about you don't talk until it's time to cut to commercial? This show is so fucking lame.
THE END
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