I just don’t get it. What is the fascination with this stupid ass word "crunk"? People write me e-mails with that word, some of my peers at school USE the damn word (like it doesn't sound like some shit a crackhead made up), and I hear that word in a lot of southern rap songs. You know what the sad part is, though? No one, and I mean NO ONE, can tell me what the fuckin' word means. I've literally heard four different meanings of the word, and none of them make sense. I swear, we need to abolish this word. Here are the meanings I've heard thus far:

1. From the one and (thank God) only Justin Timberlake: "It means 'crazy'. Like having a good time. Crunk baby crunk, get jo party on!" Okay, so it's an adjective? It means that something is crazy, right? No, I don't buy that one.
2. Teck from the Real World: Hawaii said at the "Celebrity 'Say What? Karaoke'", "C'mon y'all, we gonna get it crunk! Let's get crunk!" O-kay… first of all, the usage of this word confuses me. Are we gonna BE crunk or get something else crunk? I asked my brother, who spent some time down south and he said that the way Teck was using it was wrong. Teck was trying to use "crunk" as a substitute for like "jumpin'", or excited, like "C'mon y'all, we gonna get it jumpin'! Let's get excited!" Sure… I'll buy that one. NOT!
3. My friend Greg, who claimed to live in the south says, "It's just a feeling you get, ya know? Like, you'll be in the club, and it's jumpin', and this feelin' comes over you. It's crunk." Riiiiight. Whateva.
4. My sister-in-law, who used to live in Georgia, says that crunk is when you "about to act a fool". Her words, not mine. She says, "You 'bout to get crunk. You gon' get crazy, act a fool, ya know? You gon' get hyped. But we don't even hardly use that word no more." I like that definition. LOL My lil' sis, who lives in Atlanta said the same thing when I asked her what it meant. So I think I'll go with their definitions.

But back to the whole concept of the word. No matter what the definition of it, it's still a dumb word (in my opinion). I can't believe that people don't feel stupid using that word. I said "crunk" one time, and felt like such an ignoramus when I said it that I couldn't help but laugh at myself… for a straight hour. Maybe I can show you guys how dumb that word is. I'm gonna take a perfectly good word like "whoa", which is now played out, and replace it with "crunk" so y'all can see how stupid the word is. Ready? Here goes:

I know, I got some of the words wrong, but guess what? I don't have the fucking song memorized, so if anyone feels the need to correct me, be they friend or foe, I will verbally punish you equally. Still, you see where I'm goin' with this? Bah! Now you see why I hate the word. Try using it a few times. You'll find yourself going, "What the hell am I saying? How did I not just realize what a jack-ass I sounded like?" LOL Trust me. One thing that everyone must remember about this word (if you absolutely MUST use it) is that nothing IS crunk; you GET crunk. In other words, crunk is more of an adverb rather than an adjective, since it's more along the lines of what a PERSON did, not what an OBJECT is. You don't say, "That party was crunk."; You say, "We got crunk at that party." The word is still retarded as hell, though. That's my word for now.