Late Night *Chat With Poo Foo…

The Internet. What would we do with out it? Without the Internet I would not be able to receive freaky ass IM's from Lance. I talk to him when he's not busy, and I swear he gets weirder and weirder with each chat. Here's an example of a chat we had about a week ago. The screen names have been deleted to protect the undeniably insane.

Lance: hey tammy!

Tammy: What up, L-Dogg? (He likes when I call him that. LOL)

Lance: what are you doing?

Tammy: Nothin'… as usual. Writing a story… kind of. You?

Lance: justin's teaching me how to rap. he's not doing a very good job.

Tammy: Can you blame him?

Lance: u type wierd.

Tammy: And you can't spell. How ya like dem apples?

Lance: i know. i suck. i'm such a stupid-head.

Tammy: Dude, are you okay?

Lance: I'm watching t.veee…. it's cool i like it. i think it likes me back. it talks to me all the time. like, "hey lance, your so pretty… pretty pretty lancey"

Tammy: Uh… haha? You're scarin' me, man.

Lance: pretty pretty lancey. it used to be mean to me, but now it's nice. it called me nancy once, but I kicked it and killed it, so now it's nice.

Tammy: Ohhh… fascinating.

Lance: shit! i dropped my hotdog! damn!11!!

Tammy: heh… heh… you said that already.

Lance: Oh… j.c. says hi.

Tammy: hi back to JC.

Lance: he sucks. man, justin just ate my hotdog!

Tammy: from off the floor?

Lance: who said it fell on the floor? it fell in my lap. he ate it from off my crotch! eww…

Tammy: yeah, eww…

Lance: did I mention that I'm watching tv?

Lance: tammy? you still there?

Tammy: unfortunately.

Lance: this one time, at band camp…

Tammy: you went to band camp?

Lance: no… it was really church camp. god rocks.

Tammy: ahh..

Lance: my ass sings to me in it's sleep. it goes, "fart fart fart…" hehehe

Tammy: so… how's the tour goin?

Lance: great! I get lots of ass. cause I'm the man.

Tammy: and what about the others?

Lance: they aren't the man.

Tammy: **sigh** please stop acting like a retard.

Lance: I'm acting? I'm a good actor. I'm gonna be on that church show next season. that reminds me: this one time, at church camp..

Tammy: shut up! for the love of all things holy, just be quiet!

The convo went on like that for awhile until I was all like, "Uh… I'm feeling really inspired so I gotta go now, okay? Good luck on the next show, Lance." His reply was, "cool. tv says bye!" Weird ass little… pray for him y'all, that’s all I can say.