"Revenge Of the Boyband"

"The only question is, how the hell did I get invited?"

The cab pulled up to a huge house that was brightly lit, and a few seconds later, a light skinned girl with long brown hair stepped out. She looked at the house, which was swarming with girls wearing next to nothing, and then looked down at her baggy jean outfit a lá Jay-Z, and Timberland boots. "Guess you can say I ain't exactly dressed for the occasion," she smirked. She walked into the house and had to ask herself for the thousandth time..."What the fuck am I doing here? I don't even like 'NSync..." She then remembered that she was there 'cause her little sister begged her to go and get JC's autograph for her. "The things ya do for family," she sighed.

Just as she was about to go deeper into the house, someone put their hands over her eyes. "Guess who?" a girl chirped. The girl noticed that the hands had sterling silver rings on both fingers, and immediately knew who it was.

"If you're Britney Spears, then you're dead," the girl replied with a smile. She turned around and saw a girl about 5'5" with medium length brown hair, brown skin, flare jeans and a tight, slutty Fumanskeeto shirt grinning at her.

"Cassie!" the girl screamed.

"Tammy!" Cassie shrieked.

The two hugged excitedly, and then laughed at their stupidity. "What are you doing here?" Cassie questioned.

"You know my little sister; anytime 'NSync is into something, I wind up meetin' 'em for her," Tammy replied.

Cassie sighed, "The life of the older sister of a mindless teenybopper."

"And why are you here, Ms. 'I Only Love These White Boys Cuz Chris Is In The Group'?"

"You know me," Cassie replied, "I gotta represent for our site and all the sistas out there."

"Oh yeah," Tammy remembered, "We do run 'Crunk Baby Crunk: Get Jo Party On'. And I thought 'God Must Have Spent' was a long title." She looked at Cassie's outfit and arched her eyebrow in amusement. "Trying to win Chris' affections yet again, I see."

Cassie shrugged defensively. "What? You know I've always like Fumanskeeto."

Tammy challenged, "I thought you always liked FUBU."

Cassie frowned. "Same thing," she shrugged.

"No, Cassie," Tammy gently replied. "You see, Fumanskeeto is a pure rip-off of FUBU, plus the clothes suck. Chris Rock said it best at the 1999 VMA's when he said, 'A black man comes up with somethin', fifteen years later a white man comes along and does the same thing… and gets a lot more money off of it'."

Cassie sucked her teeth in annoyance. "Whatever."

Tammy glanced over Cassie's shoulder and saw two girls enter the house, one with long blonde hair and the other with brown hair. "Well, well, well," Tammy drawled as the two girls walked over to her. "If it ain't Wendi and Heather from 'Giddy For 'NSync'."

"Hells yeah!" Wendi exclaimed. "You know that if I get invited to an 'NSync soiree (and to all you people who don't know French, it's pronounced 'swaray') I'm not gonna miss it."

"Damn, you got invited too? What, did 'NSync just pick names out of Joey's ass or somethin'?" Tammy laughed.

"Nahh, they said that they were just really looking forward to meeting girls like us for some reason," Heather shrugged.

"They said the same thing to me too!" Cassie smiled. "I think I just might have a chance with Chris, you guys."

Tammy looked at her and rolled her eyes. "Cassie, he has a girlfriend, and on top of that, he's old enough to be your great-great-great-great-grandfather once removed."

Cassie pouted, "He's not that old."

Tammy looked around the party while muttering, "He's older than God."

As Tammy looked around the party she noticed something weird. "Hey guys-" she started, but Wendi interrupted her, saying, "All I wanna know is-" she started.

"Where's JC?" someone else finished for her.

Tammy looked behind her and saw two of the craziest people she'd ever known in her life. "Jen and Rachel from 'Just Thrust It'!" she smiled.

"In the house, without a doubt," Jen said.

Rachel rolled her eyes at her older sister. "Dude, that doesn't rhyme. For the last time, you can't rap, you've never been able to rap, and you never will be able to rap."

Jen just shrugged and said, "Doesn't matter, 'cause when my JuJu gets a load of my funky beats and skills, he'll forget how to spell 'Mercedes M Class'."

Heather snorted, "Like he could ever spell it before," causing the entire group of girls to bust up laughing.

Wendi started to back away nonchalantly, replying, "Well, I gotta go, er... go to the...the place."

Heather stared at her. "What place?"

Tammy smirked, "Yeah, girl. If you wanna go get some ass from JC, just say it. Just watch out for your precious Steverino. You know how y'all are."

Wendi frowned and put her hands on her hips. "I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm more man than Steve will ever be and more woman than he can handle. If he wants some-a this, he can bring it on. I'm waitin' for his ass."

"That's the spirit!" Cassie exclaimed, walking away.

"Where are you going?" Jen asked.

"Hey, if Wendi can get some from JC, then maybe I can get some from Chris," she grinned mischievously.

"Can he get it up at that age?" Heather asked.

"Doesn't matter," Cassie shrugged. "I can."

Wendi howled with laughter and ran off with visions of sugar plum JCs dancing in her head, while Cassie ran off in search of Chris. Tammy shook her head. "What would her father say?" she smiled.

Jen replied, "Hey, what daddy didn't know never hurt him... or me. Well," she continued, starting to walk off, "time to go take out the poor white trash...The again, since this is Justin we're talkin' about, I'll say rich white trash." With that, she bounced away, as Missy Elliott's "Hot Boys" came on.

"Man," Rachel said, "I hope Wendi doesn't put too much of a hurtin' of JC..."

"Aww," Heather cooed. "Little Rachie is worried about her man."

Rachel shook her head. "No way! I just hope she saves me some for later."

Just then, the three girls noticed Catherine from "If Y'all Wanna Party Like We Do" sauntering by with Megan from "Why? 'Cuz Lance Is From Mississippi". They noticed Tammy, Rachel, and Heather, and threw them a wave, continuing to dance.

"Just when I thought I was special, I find out that everyone and their mama's are invited," Rachel commented.

"Don't worry," Tammy said. "I'm sure that JC requested that you receive an invitation himself."

Rachel laughed, "Yeah, I wish!"

Tammy chuckled and said, "I'll be back, I gotta go to the bathroom."

"Number one or number two?" Rachel smirked.

"Neither. I gotta go forty-three," Tammy laughed.

Tammy walked through the room, and just as she got to the center, a hush swept over the room. The excitement of the girls surrounding her started to build to a high pitched frenzy. She thought she heard someone whisper, "Here they come!" as another moaned, "Ohmigod! 'NSync is here!" Then, Tammy heard it. A sound that she always hated to hear. A sound that let her know that 'NSync was in fact 'N the house. The sound that gave birth to her and Cassie's humor site. She heard someone (probably Justin) say, "This party is crunk, baby, crunk! Y'all ladies get y'all's party on!" And of course, "Here We Go" came on, and the sea of females parted like the Red Sea, leaving Tammy still in the middle. The boys of 'NSync walked up to her and said in that annoying tone, "Hi! We're 'NSync!"

Tammy merely arched an eyebrow and replied, "No shit? I thought y'all were the BackStreet Boys, but then I suddenly remembered, y'all actually have talent."

Chris scratched his head, a confused look on his face. "Was that a compliment? 'Cause you know, people really do have a hard time figuring out which one of us is Nick Carter."

Tammy then scratched her head, confused. "Was that a joke, 'cause you know, I really have a hard time figuring out which one of you is supposed to be the funny one."

"Whoa, Chris," JC laughed, "looks like she got you there. By the way, I love your Tim's and baggy jeans."

"What about my thug appeal?" Tammy asked.

"It's off the heezy," (slang for 'hook') he said seriously. Lance then stepped forward and shook her hand.

"Thanks for coming Tammy," he said, smiling. Then, the boys walked away. Not even two seconds after that, Jen ran up to Tammy. "Girl, do you realize you just carried on a conversation with 'NSync?"

"Uh-huh," Tammy replied, walking towards the bathroom.

Jen continued to press her for info, claiming, "But Lance said your name, Tammy!"

Tammy stopped in her tracks. "No he didn't," she denied.

"Yeah, yeah, he did," Jen argued.

"How could he know my name? The invitation didn't have our names on it... It was just sent to our houses as a thank you for being in their stupid fan club."

Jen frowned. "I'm not in their fan club."

Tammy also frowned. "You're not?"

Jen snorted, "Hell no. I'm nineteen years old. You think I'd be in an 'NSync fan club?"

Tammy started to get a weird feeling that something was wrong, but quickly dismissed it. "I guess they just made a mistake," she responded, and continued to walk to the bathroom, leaving Jen behind to go molest Justin Tendertoe. As she continued to walk through the party, she suddenly saw something that made her laugh and say, "I guess Jen won't be molesting Justin anytime soon." Justin was on the dance floor with Flow, one of the webmasters of "Spank It: An 'NSync Humor Site".

"HAHAHAHAHA!!" Tammy laughed. "Wait'll Jen gets a load of that. Good thing Timberdick still has that wack ass 'fro, or else Jen woulda got really pissed, and then got to slicin'!" Tammy got to the bathroom (finally!) only to realize that there was a whole two minute wait! Apparently, Joey was entertaining somebody in there. Tammy decided not to wait the two minutes and to just walk back to the others. On her way back, she saw a variety of girls. Suddenly, it clicked and Tammy realized what they all had in common. She ran back to the girls. "Guys, guys! Guess what I figured out!"

"What'd you figure out?" Cassie asked. She really didn't care, though, 'cause she was pissed that Chris brought Danielle to the party, making it harder for her to make him her love monkey. Every so often, she'd glare at the blonde and mutter, "Damn that bitch to Hell and beyond."

Tammy looked at the group with exasperation. "You guys don't notice anything wrong?"

Wendi looked up and nodded. "Yeah. I've been here for ten whole minutes and haven't seduced JC yet."

Rachel responded, "Well, too little, too late. My turn now. I'll tell you how drugs affect one's sexual activity in, oh... about twenty minutes."

Tammy rolled her eyes. "C'mon, guys! Get serious. This shit is starting to freak me out!"

"What's freaking you out?" Heather asked.

"The fact that every girl in this party runs an 'NSync humor page," Tammy growled.

"Holy shit!" Wendi exclaimed. "I never noticed that! And to think, I just saw the girls that run 'Everybody's Free'."

"And I just saw the girls from 'StreetSync'," Rachel chimed in.

"And while I was casting a voodoo spell on Danielle, er, I mean, powdering my nose," Cassie added, "I saw the girls from that site... What's it called? 'Get Yourself A Bad Boy If You Want It...' NO! That's not it! Um, 'Get Up and Clap Your Bad Hands When the Electricity's Off...' No! What the hell is the name of the damn site?!"

"I think it's something like, 'When the Lights Go Out, Get Yourself A Bad Boy and Giddy Up'," Heather volunteered.

"Whatever," Cassie replied.

"Tammy," Jen started, "I think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Look, those girls over there don't run an 'NSync site. So there."

"But they run a BackStreet Boys site," Tammy argued.

"So why would 'NSync care about some girls who make fun of their enemies?" Jen countered.

Just then, the room got quiet again, and shrill screams suddenly erupted. "Oh no," Tammy moaned. "It can't be them. Anyone but them. Anyone but..."

"THE BACKSTREET BOYS!!" the girls screamed. The BackStreet Bastards, er, Boys, walked through the crowd, right up to 'NSync and gave them friendly hugs. "You did say they were enemies, right Jen?" Heather asked Jen.

"Supposedly," she shrugged.

"Could have fooled me," Tammy muttered.

Rachel sighed, "Tammy, calm down. It's really not a big deal. Okay, so what if they're not enemies. I can care less. Just have some fun!"

Tammy reluctantly responded, "Okay. No more scary conspiracy talk..."

Cassie glared at her. "Promise?"

Tammy nodded. "I promise."

Just then, Lance got on the mike and announced that they were about to do a performance. Seconds later, the opening chords of "Bye Bye Bye" came on, and Tammy and the girls bounced to the beat. When the boys did their lasso move, Wendi and Jen screamed, "Yee haw! Ride me, cowboy!", causing Tammy to spit out her punch with laughter. "You guys are worse than the teenys..." she started, and then suddenly trailed off as another fact disturbed her.

Heather looked at Tammy. "What's wrong, T?"

Tammy looked around the party and then back at Heather. "You don't notice anything strange, Heather?"

Heather rolled her eyes. "We've been over this already, T. We see that most of the girls in here run humor sites."

Tammy stomped her foot in frustration. "Not that, ya dildo. I'm talking about the fact that 'NSync and the BackStreet Boys are here, and there isn't a teenybopper in sight."

Jen stopped rocking to the music. "So what?  I think it's great that all the older fans are here...I can't stand teenyboppers. Nothing but baby blue and FUBU jerseys..."

Rachel chimed in, "Yeah, and Superman stuff..."

Cassie shuddered, "Don't forget the signs..."

The entire group shuddered. Wendi continued, "That settles it. 'NSync is virtually harmless. I mean, they're from Orlando, hello?!" She then coughed into her hand, "Homos!"

Tammy cocked her head to the side and replied, "You guys have some pretty good points. I know I don't miss the teenys...except for one thing."

"Which is?" Jen asked.

"The fact that the people who were invited to this party are supposedly in the fan club, and none of us are in it," Tammy answered with a smirk.

"So what?" Cassie said. "We got in. We're partying with 'NSync, that's all that matters!"

Tammy nodded. "You're right. This is Kitch'NSync we're talkin' about. When have we ever been afraid of them?"

Wendi replied, "Remember their outfits at the Billboards?"

"Which ones?" Heather asked, pretending to gag.

"Both," Wendi replied, causing the group to once again cringe.

Just then, another boy group made an appearance. It was none other than good ole 98 Degrees. The girls screamed as usual, and Cassie made a remark about how it looked like they were breast fed on steroids, 'causing Wendi, Jen, and Heather to fall to the floor, gasping with laughter.

 "Please!" Wendi gasped, "Stop it! I can't take it anymore..."

Cassie and Rachel glanced at each other and immediately started to sing, "It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you..."

Tammy looked at the two girls in mock annoyance and commented with a smile, "My God! Would you shut up! I'm so tired of that song! Forget "Livin' La Vida Loca" being played out, 'NSync stretched "Tearin' Up My Heart" like it was turkey meat!"

Suddenly, Lance jumped on the mike again and said to the crowd, "Are y'all havin' a good time?", causing all the girls to scream and cheer. He continued, "Well, that's good to hear, 'cause we want you to be as comfortable as possible. Remember, the best is yet to come." He then looked directly at Tammy and smiled, causing Cassie to damn near rip her arm off in excitement. "Ohmigod, Tammy! Lance is looking at you...LANCE IS SMILING AT YOU!!!"

Tammy shook her arm off of Cassie's hand, replying, "Calm down, chile. The little pig fucker probably couldn't identify me in a crowd of one." She looked back at Lance, and noticed he was still staring at her, this time with a sinister smile on his face. He then pointed at her and nodded.

"What the hell?" Tammy questioned, a perplexed look on her face.

"Oh yeah, baby!" Wendi cheered. "Lance wants some chocolate syrup wit' his vanilla ice cream."

Tammy laughed, "Shut up, Wendi!" Still, she couldn't help but remember the look in Lance's eyes. "I wonder..." Tammy murmured to herself.

The party continued for the next couple of hours, during which Jen and Heather stuffed Flow conveniently into a closet so that they could have a manage-á-trois with Justin, Cassie slammed Danielle's head into a huge speaker and permanently wrapped her arms around Chris' waist saying, "It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you, 'cause you drive me crazy, and I know that God must have spent a little more time on you. How could he not when I lie awake driving myself crazy, wanting you the way that I do. You'll be mine Chris, I swear it. Even if it's only through heaven's eyes", Rachel and Wendi decided to team up and lured JC into a room (God only knows what happened after that), and poor little Tammy sat in the corner, nibbling on salt water taffy and singing, **"Shut your fucking face uncle fucker. You're a cock-sucking, ass-licking uncle fucker. You're an uncle fucker, yes it's true, nobody fucks uncles quite like you..." Suddenly, Tammy noticed a shadow looming over her. She looked up and saw Lance standing there, smiling his sweet, innocent, "'Cuz I'm from Mississippi" smile. Tammy, as thugged out as she was, immediately melted at the sight.

"Where are your friends?" Lance asked.

"I don't know," Tammy answered, "but I saw Wendi and Rachel walk off with JC."

"So he's taken care of those two already," Lance muttered to himself.

"Huh?" Tammy said. "I think you got the wrong idea, Poo Foo. I think Wendi and Rache are takin' care of him."

Lance stared at her vacantly. "Please don't call me Poo Foo."

"Wha...?" Tammy asked.

Lance focused in on her and snapped, "I don't like the nickname 'Poo Foo'." Do not call me 'Poo Foo'!"

Tammy held up her hands in mock surrender. "Calm down, honey. I was just playin'." She got up and started to walk off. "What a weirdo," she muttered. Lance roughly grabbed her by the arm, saying, "I'm sorry for yelling. Please don't go."

Tammy was already as weirded out as she wanted to be, so she just shrugged off his arm. "It's okay. I'm gonna just go...away. Far, far away. See ya." With that, she walked off.

Moments later, she bumped into Wendi and Rachel, who were barreling down the stairs. "What's wrong?" Tammy asked.

Wendi gasped, "Dude, don't ever give someone a combination of flour, sugar, and baby powder and tell them it's cocaine."

Tammy laughed uneasily. "Why? What happened?"

Rachel glanced up the stairs and answered, "JC just went loco on us! I mean, he was like a 17.5 on the Freak-O-Meter!"

Tammy pulled the girls over to a quiet corner and asked, "What do you mean?"

Wendi replied, "Girl, JC went nuts. See, everything was all good at first, if ya know what I mean, but then, he gets this weird look in his eyes and says... I can't even repeat it."

Tammy was dying of curiosity by then. "Said what?!" she persisted.

Wendi closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. She responded, "He said that he gets really turned on when a girl gets totally naked..."

"Boys will be boys," Tammy smiled.

Wendi glared at her and finished, "...and wraps a sheet around their necks, pretends to hang themselves, and acts like their dead while he's screwin' 'em."

"Ewww!" Tammy cried.

"And that's not all," Rachel added. "See, we knew he was lyin' when he said it. He sounded like he had rehearsed it or something."

"And you know how bad of an actor he was on the MMC," Wendi reminded Tammy.

"I'll bet he was just saying that so if we really did do it, he'd hang us for real," Rachel shuddered.

"That's it," Tammy said. "We're gonna round up Jen, Heather, and Cassie and get the hell outta here. Lance just went crazy on me, too, and I'm not gonna stick around to see how crazy 'Crazy Chris Kirkpatrick' can get."

"I'm with ya," Wendi said as Rachel nodded in agreement.

"Then let's bounce," Tammy said, walking off with Wendi and Rachel following behind her. They got back to the bulk of the party, which was still huge. Wendi wasn't fooled, though. "You know," she mused, "there were a lot more girls here before we left."

It was true. Most of the girls of the party had disappeared, including Catherine, Megan, and the entire clan of "Everybody's Free (To Make Fun on 'NSync)". "Maybe they went home," Rachel suggested.

"Maybe my ass is full of chocolate pudding and I can eat my own shit," Tammy retorted. Just then, the three girls noticed 98 Degrees coming out of a room, smiling widely.

"Looks like somebody just got some nookie," Wendi commented.

Rachel was about to agree, but noticed something. "What the hell is that on their shirts?"

Tammy squinted at their shirts and then gasped. "It's blood..."

"Okay," Wendi exclaimed brightly, clapping her hands once, "it's definitely time to go."

"But what about the others?" Tammy questioned. "They could be hurt."

"They could be dead," Rachel scowled.

"C'mon, Rache," Tammy said. "Don't you care about your sister?"

Rachel pretended to think for a moment. "Well, there was that time that she wrecked our dad's car and blamed it on me. And the time I snuck out to the 'NSync concert and Jen told on me 'cause she was mad that she didn't have a ticket..."

"Rachel!" Wendi exclaimed.

"Alright, alright," she grumbled. "Let's go find our people."

The three girls saw Cassie, Heather, and Jen lounged in a corner talking. They ran up to the girls and Rachel said, "Okay, guys, it's time to get outta here."

Jen looked at her sister. "Why?"

Rachel glanced around the party and then answered, "'Cause something weird is going on here."

"Aw man. Has Tammy gotten to you, too?" Cassie groaned.

"No," Wendi replied, "but JC has. We're outta here."

"You guys are just crazy," Heather chimed in. "This place is heaven!"

"It would only be heaven if I saw Taye Diggs walk by with no shirt on," Tammy remarked dryly.

Right then, Justin sauntered past in a wife beater. "Is that good enough?" Jen ground out, trying hard to control her excitement.

"Like I said," Heather repeated, "this place is heaven."

"Then why is Britney Spears here?" Cassie questioned as Britney suddenly appeared, and walked up to Joey.

"I dunno," Jen shrugged, "but as long as she ain't talkin' to JuJu, then this is heaven."

"Yes, it is heaven," a voice said from behind Tammy.

They all turned around to see Lance and JC standing there. Wendi immediately jumped behind Tammy and refused to look at JC.

"Ummm," Tammy stammered, "I think it's time for us to go."

"Go?" Lance inquired. "Why?"

"No reason," Rachel said. "We just have to go to sleep."

"You have to go to sleep," Jen said, "but I'm stayin' here."

JC smiled widely. "Good! Stick around for a while. The finale is almost here."

As they walked off, Tammy noticed something else. "Dude," she whispered to Wendi.

"Yeah?" Wendi whispered back.

"We're the only one's here," Tammy stuttered.

The girls looked around the party and noticed that...there was no party. The room was completely empty, except for Tammy, Cassie, Jen, Wendi, Heather, and Rachel...and 'NSync.

"Uh-oh," Rachel murmured. The lights in the room dimmed, and a purple strobe light came on, along with the opening chords of the techno version of "I Want You Back". Lance once again jumped on the mike and screamed, "You girls over there in the corner! Come to the middle of the dance floor and show us what you got!"

They slowly moved to the dance floor and looked at 'NSync, who were grinning evilly. "What's going on?" Wendi demanded to know.

"Nothing," Justin answered innocently. "This is heaven, remember? Everything is perfect."

Right then, a horse trotted past the girls, as their jaws hit the floor. "Is that-?" Rachel stuttered.

"It couldn't be..." Jen frowned.

"It looks just like..." Cassie started.

"Toby?" the girls questioned.

JC got on the mike and said, "No girls, it isn't Toby, but we just played a small trick on you to see how you'd react to seeing Toby. I mean, you make fun of him enough."

"It's not like we mean it!" Cassie said.

"But you do it all the same," JC snapped. "Now," he continued, "it's time for our revenge."

"Revenge?" Tammy repeated.

"Oh yeah," Chris smiled, stepping out of the shadows.

Jen put her hands on her hips and glared at the boys. "I'm not afraid of you little bitches," she stated.

"You should be," Chris glared back at her.

"Why are y'all doing this?" Heather asked.

"Why?" Justin repeated. "How's this for ya? 'Yo, where my bitches be at?! Dis be da J-Dawg and I knows you womens be wantin' my body and mah Benz.'"

"Ohhhh..." Tammy nodded. "So you're mad about our websites. C'mon guys, we were just kidding."

"And you were kidding about me being on crack?" JC asked.

"And me looking like a girl?" Ellen, er, Lance demanded.

"And me being a slut with every disease imaginable?" Joey said.

"Well..." Wendi drawled. "We were serious about the slut part. But the rest of it was just an embellishment of the truth."

"Yeah, if it helps," Rachel added, "we're sorry."

"Speak for yourself," Jen muttered.

"Sorry ladies," Justin said, "but it's too late for apologies. So far, us along with 98 Degrees and the 'I Take It the BackWay' Boys have managed to get all the webmasters of the humor sites, and we had to make sure we didn't leave you girls out... Our plan of action has no strings attached."

Heather looked at him in disbelief. "I can't believe you just said 'no strings attached'! And you wonder why we make fun of you guys."

"Shut up!" Justin screamed angrily.

"Aww, looks like I got Justy-wusty's little pants in a knot," Heather mocked. "Now he's gonna call his hick mama to come slap me like a piggy."

"You!" JC pointed at Heather. "That's enough! Just for your insolence, we'll deal with you first."

Heather rolled her eyes. "I'm sooo scared."

JC smiled menacingly. "You don't know the meaning of scared yet. Step forward now."

"Just do it Heather, so we can get the hell outta here," Wendi whispered to her.

Heather stepped forward and looked at the guys. "Well?" she asked impatiently.

Chris stepped forward. "Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" Heather asked.

"Your punishment," Chris answered.

Heather leered at Chris. "Are ya gonna spank me, daddy?"

"I'll let Justin explain that," Chris said, an evil look in his eyes.

Justin spoke up. "You are to do the entire dance of 'Tearin' Up My Heart'. If you miss a step, you die. Period."

Heather merely laughed in his face. "You're gonna kill me? With what? Your cheap ass JRT necklace?"

Justin stared at her vacantly while answering. "No," he replied, "with this. Joey?"

Joey handed Justin a huge machete and smiled, "The animators of 'Celebrity Deathmatch' weren't totally off with their choice of weaponry."

Heather paled and glanced back at her friends. "Guys?" she called to them.

Tammy replied, "Just do the dance, Heather, and they'll probably let you go."

The opening chords to 'TUMH' came on, and Heather successfully executed all of the dance moves...atleast, she thought she did.

"I'm sorry," Justin said, walking dangerously towards Heather, "but you missed a step."

"What?" Heather exclaimed. "You lying son of a bitch! I know I did that entire dance correctly!"

Justin shook his head. "No Heather. You see, we smack our asses three times, whereas you only smacked yours twice."

"No," Heather argued, "I've seen the dance a million times. I even have it on tape. Y'all smack y'all's asses only twice."

Justin exploded, "How the fuck are you gonna tell me how many times I smack my own ass! Who has the knife here, Heather?!" With that, he yanked her into a room and closed the door. Moments later, the others heard an earth shattering scream.

"Oh my god," Cassie moaned.

Chris pointed at Cassie. "You, step forward."

Cassie was no fool. She slowly shook her head no. "I said step forward!" Chris screamed.

That was all she wrote. The five remaining girls bolted for the door. Unfortunately, the other four boys of 'NSync were blocking their way.

"Shit," Jen muttered. "You know," she said, raising her voice, "you guys aren't gonna get away with this. Everyone knows we went to an 'NSync album release party. You'll get caught once we don't turn up like we're supposed to."

"Au contrere," JC smiled. "Don't you guys keep up with 'NSync news? The album release party isn't until next week. As a matter of fact, we're not even here. We're in New York right now preparing to do a concert for tomorrow."

"So basically, what that means," Lance laughed, "is that we'll never get pinned for this. We're too incredible."

"My God!" Rachel said. "Have you ever thought of investing in a thesaurus? There are a thousand other words for 'incredible', ya know!"

Lance shook his head sadly. "Cocky right up to their last hours of life. I like that."

Wendi smiled and said, "I'd like it more if you let us go."

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we can't do that," a voice said from the back.

Wendi looked towards the shadows. "Steve," she said, curling her lip in disgust.

"In the flesh," he smiled.

"Which is no doubt crawling with crabs," she countered.

Steve laughed for three seconds, and then stopped. "I told you that I couldn't wait to meet you. Remember the e-mails? The IM's? I told you that I would one day meet you and kick your young ass, didn't I?"

Wendi stared at him for a minute, and allowed a shadow of fear to cross her face, but instantly regained her cocky demeanor. She smirked, "And I told you that when I finally met you, I would lay your whorish ass out. Still following behind the boys of 'NSync cleaning up their shit, I see. What are you gonna do to me, Stevie? Transmit your many STD's to me? It'll never happen, 'cause the day that I get in the sack with you is the day little Justy here admits that he's white."

Tammy laughed, "And it's gonna be a cold day in Hell before that happens!"

"You think I'd sleep with you?" Steve asked.

Wendi snorted, "You sleep with anything that doesn't contain a 'Y' chromosome. Oh, and just in case you didn't get it, men have an 'XY' chromosome pair whereas women..."

"I know what the fuck you were talking about!" Steve screamed.

"Ooohh, anger," Wendi laughed.

"Fuck this," Steve stated, "I'm gettin' rid of her ass now."

"How?" Wendi asked, rolling her eyes.

With that, Steve pulled out a gun and cocked it. "I'm gonna blow your brains out. But first, I'm gonna shoot your left knee, then your right knee, then your left elbow, then your right knee."

Wendi sucked her teeth in annoyance, "You already said my right knee ya fuckin' dumbass. I can tell you'll never go anywhere in life. Ten years from now, you'll probably be filming 'NSync when they're on VH1 and wallowing in your own failure."

"Is that all you have to say?" Steve asked.

Wendi stared at him. "One more thing, Stevemeister."

"Yeah?" he asked.

"I can guarantee that I'm gonna come back and haunt your filthy ass until you either one, take a bath, or two, realize how fucked up your life really is and blow out your snail sized brains. That's all." With that, Steve took Wendi by the arm and dragged her out the backdoor. The girls later heard two shots being let off.

The girls were all visibly shaken, but Cassie started to cry. (She's 14, cut her some slack.) "I wanna go home," she sobbed.

"You shoulda thought about that before you insulted us like that," Justin scowled. He gestured to the center of the room. "Now," he continued, "step into that square over there."

The girls did, and looked at the boys of 'NSync and Steve expectantly. Lance walked over to a switch and put his hand on it. "Any last words?" he asked.

Jen looked up from comforting Cassie. "Yeah," she replied, looking him in the eye. "I got somethin' to say, and it won't take long."

"What?" Chris snapped.

"Korn and Limp Bizkit ROCK!!!" she screamed, starting to head bang.

Right then, Lance flipped the switch and the floor fell away. All of the girls fell through it screaming except for Tammy, who managed to grab the edge at the last minute. She glanced down and saw a huge meat grinder whirring away below her. She cringed when she thought of what must have happened to Jen, Cassie, and Rachel. Lance walked up to Tammy's hands and looked down at them. "Would you like me to help you up, Tammy?"

"I'd like a lot of things," Tammy ground out, trying to pull herself up, "but that doesn't mean I'm gonna get 'em, does it?"

Lance laughed. "No, it doesn't. I must say that I'm taking quite a bit of pleasure out of my revenge for you, though."

"Why?" Tammy asked, still struggling to pull herself up, but to no avail.

Lance answered, "You see, technically you didn't run a humor site. You just recently teamed up with Cassie on hers. So how could we punish you for something you hadn't done?"

"Exactly," Tammy replied. "I didn't even run a humor site."

JC interrupted, "Allow me to answer, Lance. Remember the Virginia Beach concert, Tammy? (See "My Concert Experience") We didn't like the way you treated us."

"And for that," Lance finished, "you must pay." He then stomped hard on Tammy's hand, causing her to let go and plummet to the grinders below. The last thing she saw were the boys of 'NSync and Steve standing over the hole and smiling and laughing evilly.

Conclusion

"Holy shit!" Tammy bolted up from the bed. "Damn, that's the last time I eat a pound of beef jerky before I go to bed. That was a really fucked up dream." She immediately jumped on her computer and logged onto AOL, hoping that one of her online buddies was floating around somewhere. Lucky for her, Jen was on.

JDC4LIF: Hey Jen, wassup?

Stormgrl02: nothin' girlie. wassup with you?

JDC4LIF: Girl, I just had the illest dream.

Stormgrl02: what was it about?

JDC4LIF: I had a dream that we ground up 'NSync in a sausage grinder to market them, only we couldn't decide what to call them. I wanted to call them "'NSync 'N Sausage", Wendi wanted to call them "Sync Links", and you wanted to go all out and call them "NSync Sausage Links"....

Stormgrl02: ROTFLMAO...where do you get this stuff from?

JDC4LIF: I don't know...hey Jen, hold on, 'cause someone is IMing me...

Stormgrl02: me too! brb

Tammy answered the IM that was coming from the stranger, whose screen name was "Toby1Kanobi".

JDC4LIF: Hello.

Toby1Kanobi: Why are you lying?

JDC4LIF: Huh?

Toby1Kanobi: You didn't put 'NSync into the grinder, they put you and your friends into the grinder...why did you lie?

JDC4LIF: Who are you?

Toby1Kanobi: You don't recognize the screen name? I think it's just incredible.

Tammy stared at the screen, fear starting to come over her. Then she realized that she was safe in her own home and could humor this bastard.

JDC4LIF: Well, LANCE, it's nice talking to you. Signed any fucked up contracts lately?

Toby1Kanobi: Don't change the subject. I know all about what you told Jen, Tammy.

Toby1Kanobi: Tammy?

JDC4LIF: How do you know my name? How do you know what I told Jen?

Toby1Kanobi: I know a lot of things Tammy. The question is: what do you know?

JDC4LIF: Meaning?

Toby1Kanobi: It's 10 o'clock...do you know where your little sister is?

JDC4LIF: Yeah, she's sleep in her bed.

Toby1Kanobi: You're lying again, Tammy. How can she be sleeping in her bed when she's at a sleepover with her friends?

JDC4LIF: You don't know that.

Toby1Kanobi: I do. I also know that someone by the name of "CurlyBounce" is IMing Jen right now... could it be Justin, perhaps? Our revenge doesn't stop in dreams, ya know.

JDC4LIF: Yeah, whatever, you boner-biting cock-sucker. Like I said, my sister is sleep in her bed right now, and I gotta go check on her.

Toby1Kanobi: She's not sleep in her bed, Tammy...

JDC4LIF: How the fuck do you know?

Toby1Kanobi: 'Cause I'm sitting in her room right now, typing this message on my laptop. But I'm about to log off now, 'cause I'm coming for you... See you in about 10 seconds...

JDC4LIF: Fuck you, you shit-eating ass rammer.

Tammy logged off her computer and turned around, only to see a dark figure looming over her. The only things visible in the moonlight shining through the window were his bright, spiky hair, and his huge butcher knife.

Just as the figure brought up the knife, Tammy opened her mouth to let out a scream...

**Lyrics were taken from the ass kickin' movie, "South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut"… I highly recommend this movie to all people who love nudity, cursing, and sex scenes between Sadaam Hussein and Satan.

Aww, yeah, ya liked dat, didn't cha? Well guess what? I've already started writing the sequel called "The Webmaster's Revenge", and I'm gonna post what I have in a couple of days. Then, whenever the hell I feel like it, I'll finish it. S'alright? S'alright.

By the way, how'd you like my story? Didja like it, love it, or simply HATE it? Give me a bit of feedback. E-mail me!