I've been accused of thinking too much...
Here you'll read what set my thoughts off
and what ended up running through my head.
3/29/02
A couple days ago I got an email from my friend Mike. He was the bearer of bad news. Something
very shocking and something that I didn't want to hear. After a little research these 2 articles & a small comment best sum it up.
Ozzy Osbourne/Motley Crue Drummer Randy Castillo
Dies
By Jon Wiederhorn
03/27/2002
Randy Castillo, who played
drums for Ozzy Osbourne
from 1985 to 1993, died
Tuesday night from a form of
cancer called squamous cell
carcinoma. He was 51.
Castillo was diagnosed with
the disease in May 2000, said
his friend of many years,
former Ozzy bassist Phil
Soussan. He underwent
aggressive radiation
treatment and chemotherapy
at Cedars-Sinai Medical
Center in Los Angeles, and by
the summer of 2001 he
seemed to be fully recovered.
He started working with ex-Alice in Chains bassist Mike Inez
on a new band and was in the process of hiring a singer six
weeks ago when his neck suddenly became sore and
swollen. Ten days ago, he was re-admitted into Cedars-Sinai.
He was sent home Monday and died in his sleep at 8:30 p.m.
Tuesday.
"He had a flair to playing the drums," Soussan said. "He had
a heavy right foot that was incredibly fast and his whole
unique approach to drumming was just really powerful. He
wasn't really good at copying other people, but he was really
good at being himself, and it was very difficult for other
people to copy him."
The son of a mariachi musician and a homemaker, Castillo
was born on December 18, 1950, in Albuquerque, New
Mexico. He started drumming in his elementary school
marching band and soon discovered he had a gift. His family
tells the story of how jazz legend Buddy Rich once humored
him by letting the kid play his kit. "Buddy Rich whistled and
said, 'Wow, your kid has an incredible right foot,' " Soussan
said.
Castillo's first professional band was Albuquerque's the
Wumblies, formed in the late '60s. In the early '70s, he
moved to Los Angeles and played in a variety of bands,
including Mudd and USFA, before hooking up with Lita Ford in
1984 for her album Dancin' on the Edge. A year later, Mötley
Crüe drummer Tommy Lee introduced Castillo to Osbourne,
who invited him to England to audition.
He played with Ozzy through 1993's Live and Loud Tour.
After Lee left Mötley Crüe in 1999 to form Methods of
Mayhem, Castillo joined for the 2000 album New Tattoo, but a
few dates into the tour, he suffered a serious stomach
ailment and was replaced by Hole's Samantha Maloney.
Musicians enjoyed working with Castillo not only for his
drumming skills, but also because he was warm and amiable.
"He always had a smile and positive things to say about
everything and everybody," Crüe bassist Nikki Sixx said in a
statement.
"I am heartbroken about the passing of one of my dearest
friends," Osbourne said in a statement. "I will see you on the
other side, Randy. I love you."
"He was the kind of guy that made a great friend wherever
he went," Soussan recalled. "If he showed up to someone's
house, everyone wanted to see him. It wasn't like he took
over a conversation, he just had a really good vibe."
Castillo is survived by his mother and four sisters. Funeral
arrangements are pending, but he will probably be buried
with his father in Albuquerque, Soussan said.
"I wish this wouldn't have happened," he added. "All he
wanted to do was drum."
This report is from MTV News.
After reading that I then went in search of more info and found this site where Randy actually communciated with his fans and
Wanted to share these notes...
2/3/2001
There is no recourance of cancer anywhere in my body so all I have is 4 more chemo sessions left
& I`m done except for follow up & monitoring which is no big deal.I`m a fuckin` cancer survivor
my man!Can`t wait to bang the shit out of my drums!I got a lot a lost time to make up for........
4/28/2001
Won the battle against the big C!!!!
7/20/2001
Press release on Randy, along with a VERY recent pic.
Story credit: Lisa D. Schmaljohn/ All photo credits: Andrew Orth (Orthpix@earthlink.net)
Randy Castillo: Through hell and back.....a better!
"My best investment is my imagination, because it has never failed to bring me my
greatest return! "- Randy Castillo
They say you can't keep a good man down, but what do they say about a great man?
That would describe Randy Castillo. Not just simply for his musical abilities, (playing drums
for the likes of Lita Ford, Ozzy Osbourne, and most recently with Motley Crue), but more
for his ability to overcome a formitable foe, cancer.
Shortly after Randy completed cutting his drum tracks for Motley Crue's "New Tattoo"
album in June 2000, he suffered a ruptured stomach ulcer. Randy had to undergo
emergency surgery, which prevented him from going out on tour with Motley Crue to
support the new album he'd worked so hard on. After recovering from his surgery,
Randy was faced with another ailment. This time a much more dark and sinister one,
cancer.
Two months after recovering from stomach surgery, Randy was diagnosed with cancer,
and had to have surgery to remove it. Randy then had to undergo extensive
chemotherapy and radiation treatments.
Today, Randy Castillo stands as a triumphant conqueror. He has beaten the odds through
science, faith, and a bad ass attitude. Randy's medical ordeals have given him a new
outlook on life. He is in great health and spirits, and is ready to take his place behind the
drum set to do what he does best. Randy is currently gearing up for a Fall world tour,
with a band to be announced in the near future. He is eagerly awaiting his return to rock
the masses, world wide.
Randy is a role model to both aspiring musicians and cancer survivors alike. He is a man
who went through hell, and came back even better.
8/12/2001
Update on Interview with Randy over at Crueton.com- A Motley Crue Fan Site
11/08/2001
A new beginning.....and the beat goes on!
02/01/2002
Working hard on getting the new band rolling. The music is all done...now we
just need the singer from HELL!!!
Had a great time at NAMM with Brenden (a good friend from down under) and Mike.
OK NOW... Here's what I'm feeling. Number one...THANK YOU RANDY! Thank you for so many
great songs. Thanks for so many concerts. Thanks for being the type of person I would and still do
aspire to be. Randy was rough around the edges but a wonderful human being and very multi-demensional.
Did you know he was an artist? To look at his work click HERE.
The world is truly darer for him not being in it. I mean look at the example he set. The type of person he was and how hard he fought
and the enthusiasm with which he lived his life. I, for one, will miss him. A lot. Rest in peace Randy. Oh... and by they way, there's were people
who when I mentioned Randy's passing literally said to me "Who cares?!" I care damnit! It's a human life. Someone died. Get off your damn high horse.
Just because someone played in a rock band doesn't make their life any less valueable. When people like Tupac Shakur or Jerry Garcia died, for example, I'll admit it didn't
impact my life, but I was not so callous as to say "Who cares?!". I can honestly say I would trade your life for Randy's at a moments notice because he was a million times the person
you pretend to be. But then again, I don't pretend to play God. But I do know that if you were in Randy's place you wouldn't have survived that long. Anyway.
Let's not think about the fact that Randy is gone. Let's think about how much he enriched our lives. How much joy he brought. I know I will.
3/17/02
More people vying for attention by deliberately creating an uproar. Can't you find something
better to do with your time?
Toymaker under fire as Hitler dolls
unveiled
An American doll-maker has sparked controversy by unveiling a
line of Nazi figurines.
Mike Fosella has produced Action Man-sized dolls of Adolf
Hitler and Joseph Mengele, the concentration camp doctor.
The collectors' items are accurate to the smallest detail, with
resin cast heads and plastic bodies with enough pivot points to
allow them to give Nazi-style salutes.
Mr Fosella plans further figures of Gestapo chief Heinrich
Himmler and propagandist Joseph Goebbels.
But the entrepreneur came under fire for his foot-high dolls,
which cost £118 and were unveiled at New York's toy fair.
Ken Jacobson, director of the American Anti-Defamation
League, told the New York Daily News: "The people who are
most interested in these things are probably the ones with
sinister intentions."
Joyce Mike, president of the Academy of American Doll Artists,
said: "I think overall, what he's doing is gratuitous
sensationalism."
Mr Fosella, of Pound Ridge, near New York, said he was only
making 50 figures of each leading Nazi, as well as a model SS
officer with a reproduction uniform.
"To me, it's an art form. They don't glorify Hitler or Nazis. If I
were mass marketing them at the toy store, that would be
another story."
The Hitler doll was modelled on a picture of the Nazi leader
leaving Landsburg prison in Munich after he was jailed for the
failed beer-hall putsch.
The doll shows him holding a copy of Mein Kampf, the book he
wrote while in prison, emblazoned with a swastika.
3/4/02
OK everyone... I am back after a long respite. Actually, it wasn't a respite at all.
I never could put myself in the proper frame of mind to work on certain sections of the site
with everything that is/was going on. But now, sitting here in the middle of the night, after just working
out & listening to Megadeth I can feel something. Something, or should I say someone, I haven't seen much
of in 2001. But I guess in 2002 he's making an appearance. I am talking about the "old" John.
I've been quiet until now. The events of the past few months have stirred something in me and now I feel the need to comment.
I am 27 years old. And in my 27 years I have always felt a little out of place, A bit of a misfit.
Someone who didn't fit in. And this saddened and angered me. I almost destroyed many people and I almost destroyed myself.
Then my whole world crumbled. But I built it back up. But that takes work. That takes pushing yourself and really trying.
Not fucking people over and whining and complaining and making excuses. Explanations, are OK, and I still trip and fall almost every
damn day, but at least I think I give the impression of genuinely caring and genuinely trying. I am willing to admit that I am
not perfect but I still try. You have to be willing to learn. You have to be willing to admit that you are not always right. To be willing
to change and grow and listen to people. But that being said...be careful who and what you listen to. Because this dark side has come
out because I am sick and tired of listening to all you ignorant, worthless, know nothing, psuedo intelliectual juveniles. Entirely too many
people lacking both a mind and a heart, or at least experience in using each, or both.
Don't speak if you don't know what the hell the words you're using mean. A common example would be all you people saying how "retarted" you are.
Or how "retarded" someone else is. Well, you know what? Something you probably didn't know about me is that I have an aunt who is mentally retarded.
And she is a billion times the person some of you fucks are. You know why? Because she's pure. She doesn't try to be something she's not. She hasnt
been through a world that teaches people how to act like you cretins. She's innocent. When she's afraid she admits it. When she loves she is honest about it.
There are no other motives. No false pretenses. That woman has so much love in her heart for me that just thinking about her brings a smile to my face.
Some days I wish all of us could be like her. And I personally take offense when any of you open your mouths and start commenting about things you don't even
understand. Try and understand her stuggle to live a normal life with the world the way it is. I bet 99% of you would crack. Oh WAH! Grow the hell up!
Don't pretend to be badass and so tough and so daring and lived through so much when you can't prove it. How many times have you almost died? Have you ever saved someone's life? Gotten an award from
the city because of it? Ever saved the lifes of baby animals and nurse them back to health? Ever pick up the elderly or the handicapped after they fell? Given a homeless person a meal? I could go on and on.
I chose not to. Because I have nothing to prove. My scars speak for themselves. Who I am oozes out of every pore. Those of you who don't want to see it are just blind. I am made of dark and light, just like all of us.
Which side you get to see depends on your actions. Back up what you say. If you call someone a friend, don't lose touch. Don't judge. Don't do things that will harm a
friendship. Everyone talks but gossip is different. Don't waste you time on ignorants. But if and when you fall. You fell on your own merits. Something which a lot of you are lacking.
You know why I keep so much of this in for so long? Because it is damn near impossible to fight the system you losers have created. You all gang up and pervade everything with a system
that keeps people with real values down. I can't teach if you don't want to learn. I can't suggest things. Can't make a comment. Because everyone has to take it as a damn attack against them
or not pay a damn bit of attention to it because it's not a "cool" statement coming from a "cool kid". I expect to be called on things. Things I say, things I do. I keep my word. I try to treat people the way they should be treated, if they
treat me and the people dear to me well. If not, watch out babym because you got something on your hands that you can not control and do not want to deal with.
You're all so holier than thou. None of you are special. If I make a comment it's because if you're stupid I'm going to call you on it. If you do something right I will praise you too. And just think. Every lie.
Every imaturity. Every misunderstand that comes from your narrow views, I 'll be watching. Waiting. Anticipating the day it all crumbles down and you're left feeling like I have felt.
Except you won't get up. And when you sit in the bottom of your hole, I will not reach out to you. And you did not want to hear me. You did not want to reach out to me.
You wanted your laughs. Well, now I laugh at you.
Hey girls! You know what? I find it real interesting how many of you whine about guys. Whine, whine, whine...bitch, bitch, bitch...! Well, you know what? 99% of you don't deserve to even open your pretty little mouths.
Not for that anyway. You think it's cool to play with guys feelings? Drag them along? Try and manipulate them? I really hope each & everyone of you gets exactly what you deserve, which is to be left crying and alone.
It's not cool to throw away a muli year relationship and say it "didn't really mean that much" when you were the only person I was willing to give up everything for & the only person I didn't hate in my darkest days. As far as other women go,
both some from my past as well as my friends, It's not cool to get someone to pay to take you out and then ignore them and put up a smoke screen about how confused you are and then have a boyfriend a few weeks later. Confused my ass.
Nothing makes breaking up with someone on Valentine's Day TWICE right. Nothing makes doing something sexual with someone else when you're in a relationship with someone else right. Nothing makes taking that guy who would of given
his own life for you and spitting in his face right. Nothing makes doing something, anything, while you were of sound mind & body, and then whining about it OK. And to all you girls rubbing up against everything with testicles that comes
within a 5 foot radius... It all comes off insincere. Don't be rubbing on me unless you mean it. If you're selective it means you have taste. Otherwise, you're just dirty and used. And I have no respect for you. I am not against
getting wild, anyone who knows me can vouch for that. But think about it before you do it. Because if it looks like it doesn't mean anything. Then you don't mean anything.
And guys... you're not immune either. Nothing makes breaking her heart for no good reason OK. Or pulling some macho bullshit and abusing her. Pouring drinks over her head. Pinning her arms down. Biting.
Smacking her upside the head. Paying someone so you can lick them. Diddling little girls in their sleep. Fooling around with naked girls who are NOT your girlfriend. Smacking her in the head. Taking off on a weeks "guys vacation" starting the weekend
of her birthday. These are all things that men I know have done recently. For God sakes grow up and get it together. A true love doesn't deserve that. Let me see it. Do it in my presence. Or rather, let you see me all over your ass. There is NO reason for disrespecting women
who deserve and are worthy or your respect and love, that are willing to give you their love. In some cases women a lot smaller than you. Does it make you feel big? Think I'm smaller than you too? Try me on for size. Even if I go down, I am not going down without a piece of you.
I can be sure you'll never forget it.
So anyway.. back to the topic of friends...some things to think about... Friends don't act like asses to people and talk shit about them behind their back. Friends don't owe you money and then not pay. Friends don't take your things and not give them back. Friends don't take advantage.
Friends don't lose contact and not communicate. Friends are worth something. You should always be able to find your friends. If you have some good friends then consider yourself lucky. But real friends support each other. When the chips are down, see how many friends turn their backs. Trust me, I know.
But I'll tell you this. For anyone who even for a second thinks about betraying me. Think about what you stand to lose as opposed to what you gain by having me on your side. And for those of you who already have betrayed me, I NEVER forget. Should I chose, I can make your life a living hell. Remember that.
Now on to work. if you're going to apply for a job, make it a job your want and care about. Don't present yourself in a way that wouldn't be appealing to employers and employees but don't fake it either. Take pride in your work and what you do, Do a good job and don't point the finger at others because you
can't get it together yourself, You should want to make something of yourself. If not, go sponge off of someone else. I have more respect for the homeless person out in the rain trying to scrape up change. At least they are trying. And just for the record, I don't care how old you are, how rich your mommy and daddy are,
or any other familial whatever. How cute you look, what sex you choose to sleep with, or any other damn thing about you. Don't give me an attitude and be cool to me and we'll be just fine. I treat you how you treat me. I know what I am capable of and I would like to see more than half of you do my job, And you wonder
why I am so tired after work. I took 400 incoming phone calls in January and that's not including basically being on call to answer various questions in 3 damn departments and writing documentation and emails and outgoing phone calls and attending training workshops and whatever else comes up. Oh, and to the managers
who want to judge other people because they are "weird", just know that your own flaws stick out and are glaringly obvious. And somewhere, when you least expect it, there are people disgusted by you. Oh, and they're laughing at you too. Ha ha! Suckers! Keep that in mind people before you hold someone elses life in the balance.
Well, enough of that ranting... got off on a bit of a tear there. You might be asking yourself "Does John hate me?" Or you might think "What an ignorant prick!". This is how I feel. To those who I like. You should know that I like you. To those I don't it should be obvious I don't let you get close. No one likes absolutely everything
about everyone they know. But I operate by a code. And anyone who truly knows me should understand. And if you're too small minded to, you weren't worth it in the first place.
