Is Pre-Marital Cohabitation Sinful?

Today our society is seeing the growing acceptability of unmarried couples living together (though probably many of them are planning to get married). It is called cohabitation or "shacking up." Why do most evangelical Christians insist that it is wrong if the Bible does not condemn it by name?

Before I answer that question, I must point out that the Bible explicitly condemns sexual relations outside of marriage. It is called fornication or sexual immorality (Acts 15:20; 1 Cor. 6:13-18; 7:2; 10:7-8; 2 Cor. 12:21; Gal. 5:19; Col. 3:5; 1 Thes. 4:3-5; Jude 7; Rev. 2:14, 20-21). The Bible deals with sexual sins a bit differently than other sins. It tells us, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body" (1 Cor. 6:18 NIV). About 1600 years before Paul wrote those words, Joseph (the son of Jacob) fled from the temptation when his master's wife tried to seduce him (Gen. 39:6-12).

In light of all this, how many cohabiting couples do you believe remain sexually pure until their wedding day? Do you believe that any of them really have that intention? I certainly don't. (I don't mean to be judgmental; fornication is a sin to which I am no stranger.) My point is this: fornication follows cohabitation just as naturally as night follows day. Even if that were not true, 1 Thessalonians 5:22 still commands, "Abstain from all appearance of evil" (KJV, italics added). In Ephesians 5:3 we are also commanded, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality" (NIV).

I believe it is fair and accurate to say that cohabitation marks the fear of commitment. It is tantamount to "playing house," but it is much more dangerous than playing with Barbie & Ken dolls! Two people who are "in love" want to pretend they are married just to get a glimpse of what their marriage would be like, and to see whether or not they are "meant for each other." If things just do not work out, and they decide they are not meant for each other, then they just break up like any other couple. Only their break-up is more painful because they have to "play divorce!" A continuous pattern of getting serious, then breaking up, then moving on to someone else, over and over again is bad enough without shacking up! With each break-up it becomes more difficult to be intimate with "the next person who comes along" (and another break-up becomes more likely). Those open wounds get salted whenever cohabitation is involved.

People who reserve sex for marriage are much less likely to divorce. Study after study demonstrates that! Naturally, that tells us that couples who shack up before their wedding day are more likely to divorce because (for all practical purposes) they always engage in pre-marital sex. Those are the reasons why pre-marital cohabitation is strictly wrong, regardless of what modern society says.