Let Me Begin By Saying This Is Something I'm Not Ashamed Of. I Jest Never Went Around Talking About It To Everyone. In Fact, I Think That Only Four Or Five Ppl On Here Know Of My Life.
I'm Writting This To Try To Let Ppl Know That You Are Not Alone And You Can Get Through This. There Is Alot Of Help Out There But You Have To Want To Help Yourself First.

I Am A Survivor ! I Have Been Raped Twice And Gotten Through It. It Was The Hardest Thing I Had To Do But I Wanted To Make It ! If I Can, So Can You ! This Is My Story , This Is The Truth .

The First Time , I Was 16 Yrs. Old , Still Had Never Been With A Man Yet. You Would Never Think Your Step Father Could Ever Do Something Like That To You. WRONG !

It Was In The Middle Of Summer, I Was Laying Out As Usuall, Working On My Tan. My Mom Was At Work & My Sisters Were At The Public Pool. It Happened Very Fast ! He Grabed My Wrists And Over Powered Me.He Then Left, Jest Got In The Car And Left Me .I Didn't Know What To Do , Who To Call , Ect. I Did The Stupidest Thing At The Time..Took A Shower. I Thought If I Took A Shower, I Could Erase The Dirty Feelings I Felt !

Later , When My Mother Came Home,I Told Her What Happened . I Was In Shock And I Felt Ashamed.
She Was Upset, Not At My Step Dad But At Me ! She Did Not Believe Me! She Even Went As Far As To Say I Brought It On Myself By Running Around The House Half Nude. I Then Felt Like Nobody Loved Me Or Understood So I Ran Away.

I Ended Up In S.C , Getting Into The Wrong Crowd And Getting Into Drugs. I Felt Like I Deserved To Be Used And I Didn't Care About Myself Anymore. I Met Up With Some Ppl And Stayed With Them. They Took Me In Like I Was Their Own Daughter. They Were Great Ppl That I Never Will Forget .

The Second Time, I Did Not Get So Lucky. I Know That Sounds Strange But True.
I Was Hanging With The Wrong Crowd, Walking The Streets Late At Night When A Couple Of Guys Ask Me If I Wanted To Go Party . I Got Into Their Car And We Drove For Along Time , Some Place I Didn't Know. It Was On A Back Road , Out In The Woods.
There Were About 6 Ppl There Partying And I Ended Up Passing Out. When I Woke Up The Next Day, Everyone Was Gone Except Me And I Guess The Guy That Lived There. I Asked Him If He Could Take Me Back To Town But He Declined. He Kept Trying To Hit On Me And I Kept Saying NO !

My Nighmare Begain..I Tried To Leave But He Wouldn't Let Me. I Cried And Begged Him To Let Me Leave And I Would Walk. He Laughed At Me . He Said I Was His Now.
The Next 2 Weeks Were Pure Hell ! I Was Tied To The Bed, I Was Raped Over And Over Again. He Put Cigs. Out On My Chest And My Neck. He Cut Me With A Knife Differant Places. I Was Not Hardley Fed Or Got To Take A Bath . Only When He Could Be There Watching Me. When He Left The House, I Was Tied Up And Gagged And He Locked The Door. About This Time I Prayed For Death!

I Got Very Lucky. One Day When He Had Me Untied To Bathe Me, Someone Knocked On The Door. He Went To Answer It And I Climbed Out The Bedroom Or Bathroom Window And Ran Like I Had Never Ran Before. I Found The Nearest House And Went Around Knocking On Doors, Windows , Ect. Someone Opened The Door And Let Me In. I Had Forgotten I Was Nude. They Gave Me A Blanket And Drove Me To The Hospital. I Stayed There 4 Days.

I Spent Years In Therapy. I Am A Servivor ! Rape Is Not Something Sexual, It's An Act Of Violance And Control . I Was A Victiem. No One Askes For It And No One Deserves It.No Means No ! It Doesn't Matter What Your Waring Or Who You Are, We Don't Ask For It, It's Not Our Fault . I Got Through This And I Hope My Nightmare Can Help Someone Else . You Are Not Alone !

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I Am A Servivor !

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