What's the obsession with this circumstance we call on-line romance? Hidden forces draw you to your computer enticing you to sit captivated by the seemingly undivided attention, supplied at the fingertips of someone on the opposite end of a computer screen. With the birth of the information super highway and the emergence of one internet-service provider after another, finding ways to meet potential partners has shifted from the bar scene to the comfort of searching for someone via computer. I read one unbelievable story after another of people meeting on-line and within a short period of time professing their undying love for one another. Unbelievable that is until I too found myself mesmerized by my "on-line friend." What is it about the anonymity surrounding communicating with someone through a 15" computer monitor? Why is it easier to bear your soul to someone you've never laid eyes on? Why can you tell your obsession you love them; yet, cannot part your lips to speak it to the one you see, hear, touch, taste everyday?

These and numerous other questions infiltrate my mind. He turns my usual level- headed thinking into foolish daydreams of what if…? How something as simple as seeing his name on my buddy-list, stir up feelings more powerful than many can fathom. It matters not he may not live up to what my mind visualizes. What does matter, is that with the stroke of a key as if magic he brings out a side of me not easily uncovered.

What started with a simple hello escalated into a deep emotional attachment that some days have me flying high as a kite and others hosting the pity party of the year. Risking everything to sneak in an instant message or a clandestine rendezvous in a chat room drives my thoughts.

Our technology- laden society gives new meaning to "cheating in the next room." When I ask myself how far will our cyber relationship go I don't have an answer? I know as long as he calms my raging fears, dries my falling tears, lifts my down spirit I will hide in my heart a special compartment that only he has jurisdiction in.

It's hard to visualize not turning on the computer hearing "you've got mail," or seeing my lover's name on my buddy list. Where fantasy ends and reality begins there I find solace in him.

As long as I keep my lover in my heart nothing can take him from me. His words sustain me until the next time chance presents itself. Once there we fill a void present in our reality. Left only to ask our selves, "Then What?"

Copywright 1999. All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be duplicated or copied without the expressed written consent of the author.

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