The (Highly Ironic) Death of Gohan

The (Highly Ironic) Death of Gohan


It had been almost a week after Gohan's mentor, Piccolo-san (DAISUKIIII!!!! cough* okay...moving on) had died. His body had been carried off by a pair of coroner's wearing aprons.

Gohan sat moping about the Son home. Chichi hadn't seen him all morning, he had kept himself cooped up in his room. Little did she know he had found himself dabbling and experimenting with different types of drugs.

A knock came at his bedroom door. Gohan shoved the vile of crack back under his pillow and wiped his nose.

"Come in!"

Goku opened the door and peaked in.

"Heya, Gohan! Can I come in?"

His son nodded, eye's bloodshot.

"Heya, I was thinking...would you like to go out to lunch with your mom?"

Gohan shrugged. He didn't care as long as they got back in time before he started to suffer from cocaine withdrawal.

"Well...hehheh...I guess you better get cleaned up, okay?"

Gohan sullenly nodded and walked out the door, Goku closing it behind them.


"So, what is this place Chichi?", Goku asked.

"It's new. Only opened a few ago, but Bulma told me the cuisine was like no other."

"Mm..food."

"So, what do you want, Gohan?"

Gohan sniffed a little and continued glancing over the menu in silence.

"I'm not really hungry."

"You are going to eat something whether you like it or not, young man!" Chichi cried.

Gohan sighed.

"Okay...yuderu tokage...that sounds interesting. I'll take that!"

Goku grinned his happy-yet-clueless grin. Gohan was actually starting to cheer up a bit. The waiter came over and Chichi gave out the orders. The service was quick and in no time their food was laid out. Goku began stuffing his face and Chichi smiled happily. Gohan picked up his knife and fork and sawed off a piece of the meat and began eating it.

"Wow! This is really good!"

"Really? Oh that's good Gohan, sweety. Make sure you...Gohan? Are you alright?"

The little halfling's face had turned a pale, sick color. "I....I don't f...."

Gohan fell out of his seat and began convulsing.

"Heya, Gohan? You alright?"

"WAITER!!!!" Chichi cried out.

He immediately rushed over.

"What's wrong?!"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU GIVE MY KID!?"

"It is only lizard meat!"

"WHERE DID YOU GET IT FROM!?!"

"From the Kava-sugi River!"

"WHAT!?!?!?!"

Gohan barfed all over the pavement before crying out.

"You cooked Piccolo-san and I ate him!"

Chichi punched the waiter in the face. Goku sat back and watched, dumbfounded.

"MY KID HAS FOOD POISONING NOW!!!!"

Gohan's eyes rolled into the back of his head as he inhaled one last time before dying on the sidewalk.


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