"Hello Mr. Popo", Dende said politely, "how are you today?"

"I am fine, thank you. I must go water my flowers now. Isn't Piccolo suppose to be stopping by?"

"Yes, he is, but I think after Kami tries to help me create my own set of Dragonballs."

Popo raced around and grabbed his favorite watering can to fill up so he could tend to Kami-sama's garden. Dende smirked and sat indian style outside the palace, closing his eyes and soaking in the warm spring sun rays. Popo raced about humming and giggling. A large ki approached rapidly and landed briskly.

"Good to see you, Dende."

The young Namek quietly opened one eye, smiled and greeted the warrior.

"What's going on?"

"Um...nothing."

"Uh, okay."

"At least it's a rather nice day", he thought to himself.

He watched as Piccolo walked over to Popo, quietly whispered something in his ear. Popo set down his water can and they walked off, leaving Dende puzzled.

"So do you think you can help me?", Piccolo asked.

"Yes, I believe so. Let me take your cape and we'll see."

The Namek lifted the heavy mantle over his head, removing his turban as well, and dropped it in Popo's arms who fell to the floor under the weight. Piccolo smirked.

"Well?"

"Yes, warm water and bit of bleach should have your white's looking their whitest again! All thanks to Tide®!"

"Uh...yeah."

"Gomen. Let me go put it in the washer. Are you and Kami-sama going to visit the other Namek's on their new planet?"

"Yes, we are. Do you know where he is?"

"He should be out shortly, he's finishing up his bubble bath."

"O_o"

"Something wrong Piccolo-san?"

"Kami really shouldn't be taking baths. They're not good for your skin unless you use Dove® soap which has 1/4 moisturizer."

"Ah", Popo reasoned back, "it may have 1/4 moisturizer that supposedly protects your skin, but it also contains harmful detergents. That's why he prefers Herbal Essence Body Wash® along with all their find shampoo and condition accessories."

"What!? Kami doesn't HAVE hair!"

"I know. He just likes to smell like roses."

"O_O"

"Your cape should be done by the time you get back from new Namek-sei. I must get back to tending to the garden and seeing how Dende is. Have a safe journey."

"Thank you, Popo."

"Ah! There you are!"

Kami stepped inside the main room, still wrapped up in his robe and shuffling around in his pink bunny slippers.

"You'll have to excuse me for a moment, I need to get dressed."

"Um, yeah. You do that. I think I'll go wait outside."

Piccolo sadly shook his head and walked back outside, capeless and turbanless.

"But I thought Kami was going to help me with the dragonballs?"

"It will be okay Dende. He'll help you when he gets back. He has a really important meeting at new Namek-sei and I'm sure he'll be glad to assist you. Here, play with my balls instead."

Popo handed him three hollow, metallic, Chinese stress-ball relievers.

"You hold them in one hand and try to roll them in your palm", he explained,"they make a nice bell noise when they clang together."

"Um, thanks. Oh, hello again, Piccolo."

"Um, hi."

"Will you be leaving with Kami, shortly?", Dende asked.

"Yeah, just waiting for him n-"

"I'm ready! Let's go!"

Kami dashed out from inside the palace. Piccolo's brow shot up in embarrassment.

"Oh my!", exclaimed Popo, "I didn't know it was that much of an important meeting Kami!"

"Yes, I'm afraid so, Popo."

Dende stared quietly at Kami's black vinyl pants and thirty-six eye Doc Martin combat boots he had under his usual Kami aparrell.

"Are you ready?", he asked Piccolo.

"I..er..think so."

"Alright then. Popo. Dende. Take care while we are away."

"Farewell Piccolo. Bye Kami!", Dende called as he watched them fly off.

"What kind of meeting is he going to, Popo?"

"Oh, we use the word 'meeting' as a secret password. What he's really doing is going to a Namekian club where everyone moshes in a large mosh pit. Piccolo-san is also a bouncer there, so Kami begged him to go since he could get Kami in there for free. Does that better explain things for you?"

"Er...yes, it does Popo. Thanks...I think."

"I must go call my sister now."

"You have a sister!?"

"Yes, Dende. I have a sister. Did you not know that?"

"You never tell me anything! I'd like to know more about you Popo...we really don't know each other that well, er...well, you know a bit about me, but I know nothing of you."

"Oh, okay."

Popo stopped and gave Dende his typical "Ask-me-something" stare.

"What's your sisters name?"

"Don't you know?"

"No!"

"You're the Kami-in-practice. I thought a Kami should know such things."

"POPO!"

"Okay Dende. My sister's name is LuLu."

Dende furrowed his brow ridges in disbelief.

"LULU!?"

"Yes?"

"Um...never mind Popo. I'll just meditate out here for a bit."

"Okay, whatever you say."

Dende watched as Kami's odd assistant trotted off inside to call his sister.

"Wait a minute...we don't have a phone."

Dende had wandered back inside to follow Popo ever since he had piqued his suspicion. Kami's lookout didn't have a phone, so how was he going to call his 'sister'....if he really had one, but Dende wasn't sure if Popo ever had a reason to lie to him. The Namek made his way through the palace and came to Popo's room. The door was cracked a bit and he peeked inside before supressing a squeal of shock. Dende finally got the courage to push the door open all the way and confront him.

"Popo! What the hell are you doing!?"

"Ah! Dende!"

Popo jumped back. He was playing the soundtrack to "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and had taken all his clothes off, save the turban, which he had unraveled and re-wrapped around his butt like a diaper. The scent of Jack Daniels suffocated the room.

"P-Popo!"

"Come on, Dende. Join the fun. Now that Kami's away finally, I'll show you what we really do during our spare time."

"Wu-huh!?!"

Popo grabbed Dende by the arm and dragged him into his little Zen Room.

"Here Dende, drink this."

"What...what is it?"

"It's called a wine cooler Dende. If you drink enough you'll get a buzz."

"A what?"

"Here, let me show you."

Popo reached over and wrenched open Dende's mouth, slamming the contents of the strawberry wine cooler down his throat.

"Gahgarggghh..."

"There you go. Now look at me, okay?"

Dende blinked hard, eyes turning bloodshot as he tried to focus, his delicate system being over run with daquiri fire.

"Okay! Good job Dende. Now, snort this up your nose."

"WHAT!?"

"Just do it Dende. We're suppose to have fun when Kami's away."

"B-but.."

"Oh, jeez. Here we go again."

Popo grasped Dende in a head lock and grabbed a handfull of crack-cocaine and shoved it into the Namek's face. Popo smothered him till he had to inhale. Not only did it go up his nose, but in the back of his throat and a bit went in his eye.

"Okay. You're fine now."

Popo made Dende sit on the edge of his bed. The Namek began cackling wildly. His eyes were starting to roll around in his head and his mouth hung loosely in a scary, satanic grin.

"I...I MUST...I MUST HEAL THINGS, POPO!! NOW! I SEE IT ALL CLEARLY! Gaah...my.....BRAIN....WAAAAHAHAA!!!"

"Wait a minute Dende. You can't go running around outside-"

"OUTTA MA WAY YOU LITTLE KAMI BITCH-SERVANT!!!!"

Dende leaped from the edge of the bed and shoved the diaper wearing Popo over, bursting through the door and into the outside area of Kami's lookout.

"Heart...beating...too fast...must find...AHA!"

Dende found a crowbar lying near Mr. Popo's toolshed. He stumbled over and picked it up.

"If I'm Kami, I can do whatever the hell I want to do! Take THIS!!!!!"

The hyperventilating Namek slammed the crowbar into the marble-tiled floors, breaking them up into chunks. He started to enjoy the rush of spasm's he was getting. Dende started running along with the crowbar, smashing and breaking up the rows of laid marble. Suddenly bored with the destruction of the Lookout's flooring, he propelled himself into the air and attacked the palm tree's, knocking off coconuts and ripping leaves off, splitting the trunks with the split end of the bar. Popo had stumbled outside as well, witnessing the destruction through crossed eyes.

"NO! Dende-sama! Stop! Look what you've done! This isn't how you're suppose to have fun!!! You're suppose to destroy your body and mind with brain-altering drugs and chemicals!"

"MWUAHAHAHAH!!!!"

Suddenly Popo could feel a massive rush of ki. Piccolo landed briskly, carrying Kami.

"Kuso!", Popo exclaimed.

"What the hell is going on here!?", Piccolo bellowed.

Dende was barking wildly, clinging to the top of a coconut tree, gnawing at the edges of the large leaves.

"POPO!", Kami screeched.

"Kami-sama! What are you doing back so soon!?"

"The idiot started an all Kami mosh pit and he broke his damn arm", Piccolo growled, "I had to carry him back!"

"I demand an explanation, Popo!", Kami cried out.

"I...I..."

"COCAINEEEEEE!!!!!", Dende cackled from the tree tops.

"COCAINE!?", Kami shouted, "Dammit Popo! You're going back to rehab first thing in the morning! And look! You even let Dende mess with it!"

"B-but, Kami-sama-"

"No buts, Popo! Piccolo, you can put me down now."

"Oh, sorry."

The Nameksei-jin set Kami down.

"We had hoped to come back here so Dende could heal Kami's arm, you little drug-addicted loser!"

Popo started to cry at Piccolo's comment.

"And another thing...why the hell are you wearing your turban around your ass!?"

Piccolo stopped suddenly.

"MY CAPE! MY TURBAN!"

The Namek warrior rushed off leaving Popo standing in front of Kami, head hanging in shame. The last thing they heard was Piccolo screaming.

"SOMEONE LEFT A RED SOCK IN THE WASHERRRRRRR!!!!"

"Feel better Kami?", Dende asked.

"Yes, thank you. Now the only thing I have to deal with is arthritis instead of fractured bones. How are you feeling?"

"I'm better. The doctors said that I shouldn't suffer from withdrawal anymore."

"That's good."

Mr. Popo was immediately shipped off to Satan City's Rehabilitation Center to try and break the habit once more. His outrageous lifestyle, however, carried over to the center and during one slight incident, Popo had everyone doing the limbo. He was sentenced to an extra month of rehabilitation and counseling with Richard Simmons.

Piccolo on the other hand, immediately fired a makkankasoppo at the Whirl Pool® washer machine. Having a pink cape and matching turban thanks to one red sock was not ideal to him. Luckily for Kami, he had a two year warranty that wasn't yet expired.

Kami's arm was immediately healed once Dende recovered. He swore never to join another mosh pit again unless it was started by someone other than himself. For now, he has hung up his vinyl pants and spiked collar.

Dende on the other hand...will never be the same again.