'Scuse me mate, have ye got a light? No? Well, that's all right then. Say, what's a well-off fella like you doing down in a hole like this anyways? This is the Underdark, pal, we usually don't get your kind in here. I'll bet you're looking for something, aren't you? Yeah, I can see that you are... What's your pleasure mac? I know a street nearby were you can find some afforable companionship, if you know what I mean, eh? Hmm? What's that? Information? Well, you've certainly come to the right place, I've got information coming out of 'me ears, I do. What were you looking for exactly?
Klaatu? Yeah, I've heard of 'im. Interesting fellow that Klaatu... Although I can't quite seem to remember all the details, maybe a gold sov' or two might jog me memory... Ah, a thousand thanks pal, you're a saint you are. Now, where was I? Oh yes, Klaatu...
Most of us down here in the 'dark (that's Underdark for Clueless like yerself) have dealt with Klaatu before, and the smart ones like meself have leaned to avoid him. Oh, don't get me wrong, mate, it isn't that he's a *bad* sort of person. He's just... unpredictable.
You see, while he isn't exactly "evil", Klaatu is about as chaotic as they come, which is much worse. At least with the evil ones you always know where you stand. With Klaatu you never can tell. I've seen him give his entire money pouch to a starving widow, only to turn around and steal a handful of coins from a crippled old beggar. Aye, I remember another time not too long ago, I seen him sell a cage full of little wee dragonlings down in the square (that's Slaver's Square, mate) and then donate all of the gold he got to the "Save the Anthro Dragons" charity. Not the kind of person ye want to be dealin' with.
If you're smart, ye'll stay away from that one. They say that if you give him a crossbow, he can shoot the eye out of a flying sprite at a hundred paces. Blindfolded too! Now, I can't says that I've ever actually seen his handiwork, but I consider meself lucky that I haven't.
I heard tell that he don't much like elves or sprites, and I wouldn't doubt it. He is a vampire ye know, and they say that elf blood is sweetest of all... 'specially wit' a few sprite wings... not that I'd be knowin' about anything like that, of course.
They say that he's softened lately, since finding hisself a wife. I don't put much stock in that though. This is a guy who once stabbed an elf in the leg, then considered himself generous when he told the poor bugger that he could keep the dagger! No, it'll take more than marriage to calm that one, have no doubt about that!
Now, if ye'll excuse me, mate, I spy meself another customer. May Mota bless you with fruitful loins, and keep you potent! I don't expect to be seein' ye around here again...
'Scuse me mate, have ye got a light?...
Klaatu is the perfect example of a fae gone evil. One of his favorite pasttimes is trying to jab Sunset with a stick and keep her in a cage!
Of course Sunset takes this all in stride, like any good dragon. Occasionally Klaatu likes to tell us over clan channel that is is frying dragon steaks in a skillet, which is shortly proceeded by him fidoing us Dragon steaks and dragon blood from the bakery!
Klaatu says his favorite cookie is "I like elf flavoured cookies best ('specially the kinds with real elf in them), but I'm also partial to Mint Chocolate Chip"
