Case #445523 as told to Pan by an intrepid thief!
Hearing the crash I went to investigate, the sounds led me into the cellar where I spied two shadowy figures bumbling along in the darkness. One was a giant tall and ugly completly undistinguishable from any of his race the other was a short chubby male with a beardless face and exposed hairy feet clearly a hobbit.
Just my luck I spend weeks preparing to rob this place and two amatures beat me to the punch. I know that the lord of this home is upstairs asleep and with the noise these fools are making it would be better if I made a hasty retreat, but as I turn to leave the hobbit speaks.
"Rooty we'll be millionaires!" he giggles.
Perhaps I'm being a bit hasty, I think I can afford to wait around a bit longer, and if these two happen to find there millions I shouldn't have to much trouble relieving them of it.
The two continue searching about the room, the giant noisily toppling everything he comes in contact with while the hobbit paces the room. The hobbit who the giant calls Xanathos doesn't seem to be all there, he is just walking in circles across the middle of the room laughing uncontrollably and every once in a while checking under the same carpet in between giggle fits.
Upon the sixth time the hobbit looks under the carpet he finally notices the trap door hid there. Signaling to his companion he pulls the carpet away from his goal. When they open the door they both stare into it in wide wonder, then the hobbit resumes his frantic giggles while the giant begins an impromptu dance which shakes the entire room. Suddenly the duo stop, look at each other, and evil sly grins spread slowly across there faces.
"Its mine" the hobbit screams as he leaps at the giant.
"over my dead body" the giant retorts as he pins the hobbit against the ground.
While the two are settling there differences I take the opportunity to see whats in the hole for myself.
Cookies? Yes cookies millions of them in every shape and flavor. This is the great treasure of which the hobbit spoke? Disgusted and enraged I decide to kill the bumbling fools, but at that moment the giant connects to the hobbit with a well placed kick and the hobbit sails towards me knocking over the barrel I was hiding behind. The hobbit takes no notice of me as he jumps upon the giants back and begins to gnaw savagely on his opponents ear. I in turn take no further notice of him as when the barrel tipped several large bags of gold tumbled out, here finally is old man Keeblers store profits. Quickly gathering my prize I left the couple to there frey.
As I made my exit down main street I saw several city guards pouring into Keeblers store and it only gave me one more reason to whistle while I made my way home. The next day I picked up a copy of the midgaard gazette and was surprised to see the headline THE COOKIE CORSAIRS STRIKE AGAIN SEVEN CITY GUARDS KILLED. Perhaps I underestemated the odd thieves but I look forward to the day when they cross my path again.
Xanathos states, "Why I joined Daoine? Candace threatened to take away my duct tape if I didn't!"
His favorite quote is "Life's not a bitch, it's a virgin, if it was a bitch it'd be easy."-Heather Wilcox, circa 1999
