Clan Join and Outcast Messages
These are the winning submissions in a contest recently run by our clannie Psicho. The theme here was to come up with some more "appropriate" announcement messages when a player joins or outcasts from a clan. The clannie who came up with the spoof is included in his submission. Enjoy!
Wolf
Join: Cinderz is introduced to the World Wide Wuv'n.
Outcast: Cinderz is executed for telling a mage "I wuv you."
Xunti
Join: Wxoxlxfxbxaxnxe has his name horribly twisted to join the Xuntists!
Outcast: Having failed to meet his required quota of sacrificed virgins, Wolfbane leaves the Xuntists.
Daoine Sidhe
Join: Given the sacred wedgie of honor by a 3-foot cookie-addict with wings, a sadistic anthro-dragon with painfully sharp nails, and some fuzzy bunny slippers, Wairata is welcomed to the Underground Hall.
Outcast: Wairata is finally outcast by the Seelie Court after asking YET AGAIN for more gp.
Crusaders
Join: Pledging his service to the Nameless One, Wairata joins the ranks of the Crusaders ... mainly to get his hands on all that super-cool clan eq!
Outcast: Wairata bitterly resigns from the Crusaders after discovering that everyone and their MOMS can get their hands on all that super-cool clan eq.
Bard
Join: Wairata dons some rose-colored glasses and revels with the other hippies of Bard.
Outcast: Wairata's thrown out of the Bard Hall for being tone-deaf and insisting that "My Heart Will Go On" should be the clan theme song.
Light
Join: Wairata and his 30 shield siblings join the Order, vowing to spread light around the world.
Outcast: Wairata and his 30 shield siblings are blinded in a freak accident and can no longer see the light.
The Lone Adventurers
Join: Wolfbane wanders the roads alone, shunning the other travellers.
Outcast: Wolfbane has rejoined the mainstream society once more.
Imperium
Join: Wairata is admitted into the tight-knit royal family of Imperium.
Outcast: Wairata decides to outcast after learning that the family members of Imperium are actually inbred hicks with beer-bellies who don't wear shirts and are always featured on "COPs."
Crimson
Join: After narrowly passing an intense opinion poll to measure his mental prowess, Wairata joins the other intellectual elites of Crimson.
Outcast: Wairata's passing thought enrages the other members of Crimson and he is outcast.
Hook
Join: Draken is passed around the crew like a pack of smokes in honor of becoming the newest cabin boy.
Outcast: Draken is keelhulled and dragged behind the ship for shark bait as he is outcast from Hook.
Twinlobe
Join: The Global Overmind gains another moron as Wairata joins the ranks of Twinlobe.
Outcast: Wairata loses a Global Overmind as he flees from all that weird, gooey, gray brain matter that Twinlobe tries to pass off as "clan hall ambiance."
Shadowkil
Join: Wairata joins Shadokil ... due to a programming bug.
Outcast: Wairata outcasts from Shadokil ... after the bug is corrected. (who would WILLINGLY join, anyway?)
Retribution
Join: Wairata takes up arms with Retribution, vowing to spread terror throughout the land.
Outcast: Wairata leaves the Retribution war camp behind -- after failing to get any hook-ups from Fufa.
Emerald
Join: Wairata is beckoned to enter the Emerald Stronghold of the Emerald Knights as the Grand Emerald Doors open before him.
Outcast: Wairata is exiled from the Stronghold for wearing a color other than green (*gasp!*)
CHAOS
Join: Seething with magical power, Wairata joins his fellow spell-casters at CHAOS - Chapter Honorary - Alliance of Spellcasters.
Outcast:Wairata outcasts from CHAOS because no spell he knows can determine the point of the clan's full name.
Seekers
Join: Wairata ascends the Watchtower to keep watch over the land of Aardwolf.
Outcast: Wairata is booted out of the tower after he admits to watching the naked virgins being prepped for sacrifice over at Xunti rather than watching over the land of Aardwolf.
Baal
Join: Thirsting for the blood of innocents and the return of Ba'alzamon, Wairata becomes a child of the Dark One.
Outcast: Wairata angrily outcasts after receiving nothing but cherry Kool-aid and cranberry juice from the Children of Ba'alzamon.
The Order of the White Dragon
Join: Wairata soars into the heavens on the back of a mighty white dragon.
Outcast: Discriminated against for having a beige dragon rather than a white one and shunned for refusing to refer to the leaders as "Grand Wizards," Wairata finally leaves the Klan, errr, clan.
Vanir
Join: Thor bestows his blessing upon Wairata who has joined Vanir.
Outcast: Wairata outcasts from Vanir in an attempt to shake his "Most Likely to be Found Dismembered and Mutilated on a Dilapidated Barge" label (otherwise known as Thor's "blessing").
