 |
Two Of A Kind by © Amy Brown
Daoine to perform Chymmyleys!
Warning! According to Stormysky, the reporter of this information, this note contains strong sexual content of a professional nature and may be harmful to those who lack maturity and intelligence. Despite the profanities, innuendos, and general derangement that follows, there are NO artifical flavors contained herein, and no innocent mobs were hurt in the production of this note. Effects of reading this note range from slight mental trauma to a total and unrecoverable state of insanity. If you are less then 18 years of age, a human rights activist, or a member of Emerald, it is NOT recommended that you read further. You have been warned!
Due to a rather noticeable depletion in our clan coffers, Daoine has come to the realization that we must find some way of obtaining additional revenue for the ever growing expenses of flour, chocolate chips, and large nondescript looking trucks. Since it is unacceptable to sell the bulk of our cookie stash, what with the hard work we had to go through to stea, errr, obtain it, we had to devise another means of creating income. After pondering what we could sell, and many months of labourous research into what the mud lacks in the commodities market, we finally, in a brainstorm of true genius, hit upon what was missing: Chymmylely! That's right! It appears there is not a single vendor for this widely practiced ritual in Aardwolf! Figuring it was safer then venturing into the Mud OS market, we went here!
Following is a pricing guide and restrictions, which may change at anytime without advance warning or notification. This service is not available to residents of England and Germany.
Clan Pricing Guide for Daoine Chymmyleys:
| Clan |
Price |
Explanation |
| Wolf |
N/A |
We value our existence too much to even consider touching an Immortal. |
| Loners |
N/A |
Benefits not allowed for these anti-social "people." |
| Outcasts |
10,000,000 |
Security considerations require we charge this small fee. |
| Twinlobe |
5,000,000 |
Extra charge per lobe. |
| Watchmen |
110,000,000 |
It is foreseen that after the clan observes the procedure, there will be no more requests. |
| Chaos |
N/A |
We fear magical retaliation. |
| Seekers |
100,000 |
Come one, come all! |
| Shadokil |
1,500,000 |
Extra charge needed to offset costs of acquiring additional lighting. |
| Emerald |
1,000 |
Small bwoid niargans makes operation easier to perform. |
| Light |
1,500,000 |
Extra charge needed to offset costs of acquiring black lights. |
| Dragon |
N/A |
Scales too thick to allow operation. |
| Ba'al |
N/A |
Conflicting voices in head prevent members from being certain they want it. |
| Hook |
N/A |
Hook-like deformity of bwoid niargans prevent us from performing on members. |
| Bard |
50 |
Easiest clan to operate on, as everything is color coded. |
| Crusader |
N/A |
Someone already beat us to it. |
| Xunti |
N/A |
Xuihtecutli doesn't allow it. |
| Imperium |
1,000,000 |
Discount given if entire family signs up for procedure. |
| Crimson |
10,000,000 |
Extra charge due to bloating. |
| Daoine |
N/A |
It's illegal to maim faeries. |
| Retribution |
100,000,000 |
Security considerations. |
| Vanir |
1,000,000 |
Odin gets a discount. |
Note that pricing is based on a per member basis, and extra charge will incur if you have an extremely large OR small bwoid niargan. On a completely different note, Daoine will shortly be offering chymmylts freeghit for a small sum. These delicious onion-ring like treats, served breaded with some mustard on the side, make excellent snacks while you raid or watch clouds casually pass by.
|
