Welcome folks, to the revamped issue of the Sidhe Times! Ever since Stride, our previous editor, left the crummy world of Aardwolf to seek greener pastures, the Sidhe Times have lain in limbo. After an exciting two weeks had passed for the Fae, the currant editor *ahem* felt the itch started writing.

T'was been an exciting fortnight for the Fae. Aptly named, The Month of the Grand Struggle (July) started off with a yell from Phooka: 'All rally to slay Eight!'. Kiljare, Fufa, Bacchus, Antipher, Deagol, Nevermind, Serina and Hyperblade all rushed into the defenses of the Fae, grappling with the guards. Eventually though, a stalwart defense was organized thanks to the allies of the Fae. One by one, the raiders fell to the guards, followed by a loud yell from Nevermind, a former Fae. 'this was home once... looking back you come to think... what a hole' Nevermind was not available for comment afterwards though. The raid continued for 20 mud days, though only 4 hours passed in the magical halls of the Fae. The raiders were beaten back with severe losses, when Fufa spied something more attractive than a frolick with the Fae...

Global Quest: The global quest has been won by Fufa.

scant minutes later... Global Quest: The global quest has been won by Fufa.

That night, Fufa apparently decided that staying as a Superhero was detrimental to his levelling spree, and remorted! (again)

The raiders attempted to try again in the wee hours of the morning, but in the darkness, the Fae and their allies fought hard and watched gleefully as wave after wave crashed against the unyielding rocks of the Underground Hall. As a bleary-eyed anthro-dragon stumbled out of the clan into her cozy hole, it was overheard that even if the raiders were powered by an alternate energy source, nobody could beat duracell power combined with caffeine...

Two more souls have been dragged into the mirthful halls of the Fae this month, namely Stardancer and Anlyth. Congratulations to them both! Needless to say, the much wanted-for female population of Daoine increases.

The Fae did a raid on the unsuspecting Bards, using a key begotten (and forgotten) by some underhand (and overhand) means. Bard apprentices were sent scrambling to deal with the cleaning up, as the Fae takeover of Bard was rather messy... *The raid on bard can be found in section at bottom of page!*

Shortly before this account was written, the bloodthirsty warriors of the Crimson Horde attempted to bungle our halls. It is little known what they were doing, but sitting outside the clan and waiting isn't really considered raiding... Shortly after, Ba'al, Retribution, and Shadokil put in a much more concerted effort in getting into the Underground Hall. They failed though, thanks to the valiant defenders who deserve more than a cookie! More than 18 raiders were pitted against the 10 or so defenders who were not in limbo. As our informant from Retribution put it, the raid was so costly that it would be a long time before they would raid again.

Important News!! Some defense pointers are put up here to enable members not to be confused in the event of a raid.

1. If very few Fae are online, or the leaders are not present, appoint someone, perhaps the higher ranking Fae, as temporary coordinatior.

2. Check the allied clans, namely Chaos, Imperium, Amazon, Druid, Light, Seekers and a few others which I may miss, for superheroes or heroes to be able to defend. Ask them politely "We have in need of some janitors to sweep the Rimsos out". The leader is to stay calm, sit down in the first room, or the clan entrance, and watch the comings and goings of raiders and defenders, noting them so he/she/it can thank them later.

3. For the leader, set a gate mob (Euphoric dreams or cookies make pretty good gate mobs" at the entrance to our clan hall. Get everybody in the clan to follow you and group them. Get all the defenders to follow you and group them too. After that, sit down in the first room and don't move.

4. This section is for those Fae who have no appointed task at hand.

5. Get grouped with the leader so you know what's going on. For very low level Fae of levels 50 and below, their task would probably be as jailsitters. Use triggers to open/close the jail door. Preferably, one will unlock and open while the other spams close. Another pointer for the jailsitters is to set a trigger to get all whenever a raider drops all. This trick is known to get many regeneration and mana potions *cackle*

6. For mid-level Fae, of levels 50-180 whereabouts, a few things can be done.

7. One Fae can act as potion fidoer, sending wines, dusts, and scrolls/regen potions to whoever needs them.

8. For Cleric Faes or noble Faes with any healing spell, they could go to our guard room and heal the guards. You should be invulnerable to raiders unless you pk them.

9. For Faes who just levelled, and losing experience won't hurt, an important task would be to run around flagging the raiders. Just attack them, and they will be flagged. This can be rather fun at times :)

10. For high level Fae, they could be defenders. Occupy the regenners so that the tanker would die quickly. If most of the guards are dead, attack the keyholder. If not, just web yourself in the guard room and regen the guards, for Fae in their Ranger or Cleric incarnation.

11. Every Fae can play a part, even if you are level 1. Do not say unneccessary things over clan channel, but say things to keep the communication going.

Added Bonus Feature!! by Alcione

Early in the morning of June 7th, Everything seemed fine at bard clan, but unbeknownst to us bards (and beknownst to the Fae), a great force began to amass upon our doorstep. Suddenly, and without warning the Fae struck, with a suprise even this reporter never expected. . . There was a short click from the bardly door to our safe haven, and then we were up to our noses in Faeries.

Thier weapon: A key to said door, most likely pilfered by one of the Faerie folk armed with a psychadelic cookie. Ideas as to who the victim of this pilfering was are beyond me, and as Milton put it, shortly after the affair, "Look at all the pretty colors".

The Fae's takeover of Bard clan was quick, and shocking, thier goal, as one goat God Pan put it "all praise the goat god and if you praise the grinning goat god in the next five minutes I'll have widget strip for you' so to say the party that ensued was quick, sick, and VERY messy.

Left on the floor of bard, among other things were. . .

• (1007) A beer bottle has been left here.
• ( 3) A lie lessens love. [3/3]
• ( 4) Vanity, vanity ... all is but vanity. [3/3]
• The very thought of touching this makes your skin crawl...Concupiscence curdles chastity ... [3/3]
• This pitchfork looks like it's been through a fire
• Dishonesty follows you wherever you go ...
• Fight the shackles fettering your dreams ...
• Hopelessness hampers happiness. [3/3]
• The Lovely Rose is singing the song of "I love you".
• ( 2) The key to the Space Navigator's tank lies here.
• ( 2) (Glowing) (Humming) A very large laser gun lies here.
• ( 4) A beer barrel has been left here.
• (30) A bottle of firebreather has been left here.
• A Dazed and confused Blind Poet Milton Lies here twitching and mumbling.

And in fact the only thing that killed such a party was when one bard member, who will remain nameless, passed out in the Orange Juice bowl. . .

"Screwy Shala exclaims 'I didn't do it!'" Was one reaction to such an odd development, which was Immediately followed by "Screwy Shala enters into Seal of the Seelie Court and disappears.

And so the Fae disbanded, for fear of arrest for the following..

• Theft
• Drugging an Unwilling Senior Citizen
• Vandalism
• Breaking and Entering (not in that order)
• Singing off key
• and last but not least. . .
• Attempted Murder.
• The Bard clan is currently reviewing the facts, and attempting to decide upon a course of action.

Some of the suspects are

Klaatu - Pint sized, but very bright, this Fae was most likely the infiltrator, and initiator of the attack. If you approach him, be warned, he is consitered highly dangerouse, and fast with a cookie UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD BAKED GOODS FROM HIM BE CONSUMED!!

Sunset - One of the tiny terrorists in this attack. She may seem sweet, but don't be fooled she's quick with a social, and you'll be on the ground faster than you can say "uncle".

Fluffy Plush - Although the name seems soft, and cute it is quite misguiding, as Fluffy Plush is, in actuallity cute and soft! Do not, under any circmstances attempt to sleep on said person, as this reporter assumes it will be detremental to longevity in life.

Midnight Stardancer - Not much is known to this reporter about said Faerie as no data could be found, except this tidbit:Stardancer is a Teglach of The Daoine Sidhe

Screwy Shala - some say she's screwy, but on closer examination you'll find she's just plain NUTZ! She is the prime suspect in the murder aspect of this case. Exercise caution when approaching her, for she is considered to be, as far as this reporter can deduce, one of the heads of the operation.

Apprentice Wolfbane - Although he was not seen initially, It seems he probably just joined in fr the hell of it. As such a joinee, it is assumed that most of the vandalism was caused by him. If so he could be facing up to three bard sing alongs.

DkWanderer Morinon the Godfather - Possibly the head of the operation, or the "right hand man" of it all. He is concitered dangerous, and his cookies are most definately lethal. DO NOT TRY TO APPREHEND THIS FAERIE! We're quite confident that the "Honor System" will work for him, and so he will turn himself in when good and ready. Any attempt to apprehend will only slow the process.

And finally our #1 most dangerous man, the one who played the heavyest role in it all. . . goat God Pan - Is wanted on all possible accounts listed above, along with Criminal Mastermindedness Public Display of poor Taste in Dressing Loose Morals Public Display of a total lack of Manners He is wanted Fed or Deprived.

If you have any information whatsoever, please don't hesiate to contact the Bardic cleaning crews, who will be working 'round the clock to return the bard clan hall to it's normal homeostasis.