1. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
2. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just
don't have film.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well,
night.
4. On the other hand, you have different
fingers.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending
machine.
6. I just got lost in thought. It was
unfamiliar territory.
7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is
empty.
8. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most
of it.
9. Those who live by the sword get shot by
those who don't.
10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a
parallel universe.
11. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be
without sponges.
12. Just remember...if the world didn't suck,
we'd all fall off.
13. It is said that if you line up all the cars
in the world end to end, someone would be stupid
enough to try and pass them.
14. You can't have everything, where would you
put it?
15. The things that come to those that wait may
be the things left by those who got there
first.
16. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a
fine for doing well.
17. It was recently discovered that research
causes cancer in rats.
18. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since
nobody listens.
19. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could
use a few.
20. Light travels faster than sound. This is why
some people appear bright until you hear them
speak.
