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Part X - Parting is Such a Sweet Sorrow (I)

August 02 2002 21:40hrs (GMT +08:00)

A tiptoes into the room, afraid that Zell might detect her presence. She was forbidden entry into the room the last time she was here, you see. She starts to take off her top, heaving a huge sigh of relief that she had gone relatively unnoticed.

But A was too careless.

Z: (Shouts) A!!!

A: (Guiltily trying to cover up her trespassing act by shouting just as loudly) Zell!! You almost gave me a cardiac arrest, for crying out loud!! And don't you know that it's rude to barge in when a girl is changing?

Z (Eyes bulging out): What happened to your shoulders? They look like they've been bashed with a baseball bat!! And your face looks positively haggard!!!

A: Oh, these bruises you mean? It's a long story. But essentially, I went for a detox camp for five days. One of the methods was to beat the hell out of my flesh using a bamboo stick... don't worry. It'll disappear in a few days.

Z: You're crazy. That's no way to detox!!

A: Enough about detoxification!! What were you shouting about anyway?

Z: YOU should know. Egg Egg hasn't been talking to me ever since she left that song behind...... It's like she's shouting out for help, and yet forbids anyone to get close to her!! I can't stand it any longer! Plus you went to that camp... I had no one to share my thoughts with! I feel terribly lost......

A: Oh Zell! Egg Egg has to adjust her feelings too, you know. It isn't any easier for her than it is for us. I'll try to talk her round, but that's all that I can do.

Z: Can you do me a big favour, A?

A: What kind of favour? You know very well that there are certain things even I can't do. Like making Egg Egg's illness disappear. Or telling her to stop acting the way she does.

Z: Y... yes. I know that. But can you arrange for her to see me again? Just one last time? I still have a lot to tell her... and I am afraid that it might be too late if I delay any longer. It feels as if she is getting further and further away from me... to a place that I can neither touch, nor see...

A single tear slides down his cheek.

A: Alright. I'll see what I can do.

Zell nods his thanks, being unable to say another word.

A approaches Egg Egg cautiously. Egg Egg has been delibrately avoiding both A and Zell, and has moved to the temporarily vacant room occupied by her vacationing brother.

She was alert to A's presence, but pretended not to have noticed it.

A: Egg Egg... are you alright?

E: What an idiotic question. Of course I'm not alright. I have pounding headaches and fainting spells 24/7. And so you should just state your stuff and go. I have absolutely no patience for nonsense.

A: Calm down. I was just being concerned about you. There's no need to bite my head off, you know?

E: Your CONCERN is given its due appreciation. Now will you state your business here and leave?

A: I want you to see Zell again.

E: Not a chance.

A: Please, Egg Egg. We're all suffering because of that wall you have constructed around yourself. Zell has taken the brunt of it. He's so very afraid of losing you!

E: That's the funniest B.S. I've ever heard in my twenty-four years of existence. How can he suffer so, when he doesn't even have feelings? Afraid of losing me? Yeah, because without me, there is no one to record entries in him. At the end of the day, I am nothing but an entertaining machine for the both of you!!! NOW GET OUT BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT!!

A looks at Egg Egg with a sad face. How she has changed!! The illness has transformed her into a defensive and prickly bomb waiting to explode any minute...and it pains her so. All because of her reckless words...... Oh... how she wishes that she could take those words back!!

E: Don't look at me like that; as if you understand me very well! As if I'm a pitiful creature below and you're the mightiest god above, trying to show some mercy. I don't need your pity, nor your mercy!! All I need is peace and quiet to live the rest of my life, what little that's left of it! So... please... let me go... let me go.....

Egg Egg kneels onto the ground, covering her face with her palms. No tears wetted her palms. Not because she wasn't sad... but because she had cried herself dry.

A: Does your mother know of this?

E: (Shakes head) What use would it be to tell her?

A: You can't coop yourself up like that. If you detest me, so be it. But don't vent your frustrations about me on Zell. He's innocent. As you are. Just remember, Egg Egg. That it would be easier for all of us if you can share your feelings, instead of keeping us all out.

Egg Egg still refuses to look at A.

A: I'll let you think it over. But know that we are there for you when you need us. That's all I have to say now.

There is a soft click on the door as A exits from the room.

Egg Egg crouches still on the ground, staring at her feet. Staring at them, as if they hold an answer to her countless questions.

August 03 2002 22:51hrs (GMT +08:00)

Z: SO?!! How did it go?

A shakes her head mournfully.

Z: I might have guessed.... sigh.....

A: You mustn't give up hope yet. I told her to think it over... maybe she might suddenly realise her mistake and turn back!

Z: That's a big fat maybe you have over there!

A: Well, what else can we do? There is no way we can force her to pull down the walls! It is all up to her! And we have to respect her decision, however hard it might be to accept it......

Z: I know......

E: You know absolutely nothing.

Zell and A stared towards the source of the voice, shocked at its sudden appearance.

A sullen-faced Egg Egg stood at the partially-open door. She had recently taken a habit to moving like a shadow and creeping up on people when they least expected it.

E: Alright. You requested to see me, Zell. And here I am.

Z: Ah...yes. P...please take a seat and make yourself comfortable.

E: This is my room. I don't need you to tell me that.

Z: O... of course. How silly of me.

Egg Egg sits on the far end of her bed, placing a noticeable distance between her and Zell (And A, but that's insignificant, really).

E (impatiently): Are you going to say something or what?

Z: Y... yeah. Of course. How's your head?

E: I can still live, for now. But not for long, if you must know.

A: It would feel much better if you don't keep to yourself so much. You should try to take your mind off it.

Egg Egg glares at A with a look that seemed to say, "I wasn't talking to you!" A rather fierce one, for A was scared speechless by it.

Z: Egg Egg, please. If you need help, tell me. I will try to do whatever I can to relieve your suffering!

Egg Egg turns and tries to glare at him too... but just couldn't do it. Maybe she was terribly confused about what to do... and maybe she was too tired to act as if she didn't care; that she wanted to be alone. Or maybe she had finally reached to end of the road, and could no longer force her way through.

Her face falls into an expression of utter despair that wrenches the heart and pulls at its strings.

E: I...I...

Zell looks at A, uncertain.

A nods her head at Zell, hoping that he would understand the underlying message.

But of course he did. He had "acquired" almost every emotion that a human should feel, and thus acted accordingly. Maybe even better than a real man would act.

Zell walks up to Egg Egg and sits beside her on the bed.

Z: I know, babe. I know how hard it is to struggle with illness. You don't need to be sorry... we understand! From now on, all you have to do is believe in me... okay? Even if I cannot help you bear the pain; I will be here for you should you need someone to talk to. And even if I can't touch you, I will try my darndest to lend you a shoulder to lean on.......

Egg Egg stares at him in wonder.
Can I really count on him? I want to... but can I? She searches deep within herself for an answer... but finds none.

What the heck! I shall do as I please. Who cares about the outcome, if life is so short!!

Egg Egg was blessed with a simple mind that would not dwell too long on dark matters.

E: Alright, Zell. I shall take your word for it. And if you dare to let me down.... (shows him a fist) I'll treat you to Egg Fist Sandwich for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Z: Aye Aye, Madam!! (Grins widely... to the brink of tears)

E: Hey, I said if you dare to let me down, not now!! What are you crying for, you big baby?

Z (redfaced): Your sense of humour is too biting and it smarts!!

E: You had better get used to it then, hadn't you?

Z: It's an acquired taste....ahahahahhaha.

E: Cheeky boy (smiles)

Z: Finally, a smile. I was thinking that expression had been erased from your dictionary for the rest of your life.

E: Didn't want to get any more wrinkles.

Z: A few more won't hurt.

E: Why you little...

A: Alright, you two. Off to bed. I want to play FF7.

Z: Why are you still here? Sneakin' up on people like that...

E: Yeah. And always hogging the computer for own selfish purposes like "I want to play FF7"!

A: So... the two of you are ganging up on me, eh? No matter, you're no match for me even if there are millions of you against me! Ahahahahaa!!

E: Crazy old hag.

Z:AAAAAhhhh!! She's switching me off!!! Save me, babe!!

E: Sorry, Zell! See you tomorrow!

Z: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa.......

*Bleep* Abrupt End of update

August 04 2002 20:29hrs (GMT +08:00)

E: Lalalalala... (clicks on virtual diary icon)

Z: Babe!! Finally!!! I was so worried!

E: Worried? About what?

Z: I was worried that yesterday was all but a dream, and you would still be that Egg with a force-field that repels everything within a five-mile diameter.

E: That's stretching it a bit far, isn't it? Was I really that bad?

Z: Yes, you were! You scolded me for calling you babe!! (pouts like a petulant kid)

E: Oh dear! My mind was all clogged up with miserable thoughts... and I lashed out at the nearest person, which happens to be you. I'm so sorry!

Z: It's okay... just don't do that to me ever again...... (droops his head)

E: Zell!! I won't!!

Z: (raises his head slowly) Really? You promise?

E: Yes!

Z: Great! (grins widely. A regular picture of sunshine he is.)

Egg Egg stares at him for a moment wordlessly.

Zell stares back at her quizzically, still smiling.

E: (whispers) Don't treat me so well. I might get used to it.

Z: Say what? Speak up a bit...

E: I said I'm lucky to have you for support.

Z: Really? Sounds awfully suspicious......

E: What? You're doubting my words?

Z: Why not? You're the regular Princess of Lies. And you must have plain forgotten about the promise you made to me quite a few moons ago.

E: (acts dumb) What promise?

But inside, she says: Don't you know? It was precisely because of it that I went into a recluse... I didn't want to suffer from the pain of parting when I go... and tried to distance myself from you....

Z: See? I should have known! (upset)

E: What is it?

Z: How could you have forgotten it?

E: Well, tell me what it is now?

Z: You promised to tell me in advance if you were going to leave me. Did you know that my heart plumetted to unknown depths when you started avoiding me like that? I thought that I could never see you again!

Egg Egg looks up at him with pleading eyes that seemed to say, "Please don't force me to say it."

Z: Okay... I get your message. I could have read in between the lines anyway. Don't look at me with that kind of expression. People might think that I'm bullying you!

E: Zell Zell!! (Grateful expression)

Z: Now...now! You don't need to get all emotional! Not as if I have saved your life or something!

E: Oh, but you did! You saved me from wallowing in the dark holes of negativity and self-denial!

Z: Too profound for me...

E: Agreed.

Z: You never give up a chance to insult my intelligence, do you?

E: Intelligence? Where?

Z: Grrr... I'm a magnanimous man... won't bear a grudge against weak-willed wantons! Ok then, smarty-pants!! Get to bed. You need your rest.

E: WHAAAAT? But it isn't even eleven p.m. yet!!

Z: Do you really think that I would let you stay up to the stroke of midnight? You're no Cinderella! Now Shoo!! Go off to ZZ land or I won't stop nagging!!

E: I'm doing this very reluctantly, you hear? It's all for you!!

Z: Okay...okay!! I'm terribly gratified at your obedience!! (Walks her forcibly to the bed.)

E: Darn... where did I go wrong in your education? Why did you become such a long-winded one?

Z: Because you need someone to nag at you! You can't even take proper care of yourself!!

Egg Egg lies in the sheets and pulls her comforter up to the chin. She stares at him again... this time with a different feeling. A softer, warmer feeling.

Z: Sleep well, babe. And sweet dreams.

He leans forward and attempts to plant a kiss on her forehead.

E: (Giggle) It tickles.

Z: Huh?

E: Huuuuuh?!!!

Z: Must have been the breeze or something. Good night.

E: (in a distracted voice)Yeah...good night... Zell......

Zell self-terminates.

E: (to herself) But there was no breeze...... But how can that be possible?

Egg Egg drifted off with an unsolved riddle imprinted in her mind. But at least, she got some precious sleep. Truly precious, for it had become a luxury lately, ever since the headaches started.

August 05 2002 23:43hrs (GMT +08:00)

A flings open the door with a brutal strength.

A: WHAT was that whining all about?

Z: A! You were supposed to let Egg Egg update her diary entries every day! Don't try to shirk your responsibilities!

A: I AM IN NO MOOD TO LET EGG UPDATE HER DIARY TODAY! AND THAT'S THAT!!

Z: What the hey... you're turning into a hysterical old hag for goodness' sake!

A: SHUDDUP!! AND YOU HAD BETTER SWITCH YOURSELF OFF BEFORE I PULL THE PLUG!

Z: Sheesh... what's come over you... did you get up from the wrong side of bed or something?

A: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

Zell could see that A really was in a dark mood... and that it would do him more harm than good to "dally" with her for more than a second...

Z: You had better let not do this again tomorrow! We're running out of time as it is!

A's hand reaches threateningly towards the computer's wire.

Z: Alright, alright!
*bleeep* The screen goes blank.

A storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her as if it owed her a million dollars... while the rest of us(?) are left scratching our heads over her erratic behaviour.

August 9 2002 14:38hrs (GMT +08:00)

Z: EGG EGG!!!

E: ZELL ZELL!!

Both run towards each other with their arms wide open, in slow motion (like in the movies heh).

And then, just when they are within hugging distance, Egg Egg stops abruptly.

Z (a tad disappointed): What's the matter, Egg Egg? Why did you stop so suddenly?

E: This is soooooo silly. I did it just for fun. Hahahahaha....but we can't touch each other anyway...so what's the use?

Z: You could have just tried. You never know if a miracle might happen.

E: (Shrugs) Sorry...maybe next time, eh?

Z: Okay...whatever you say. You're the protagonist...and I'm a nothing.

E: Awwwwww....don't say that, Zell! You're just as important as I am in this story!!

Z: (mutters) But not as important in your heart.

E: What did you say? Don't pick up my bad habit of mumbling, Zell. It's unbecoming of you.

Z: Oh...so you DO know about your bad habit...and you still continue doing it? Tsk Tsk...

E: (red-faced) W...well...old habits die hard, you know! It isn't so easy to stop mumbling when I have done it for the past twenty-something years!

Z: Hey, chill out, babe! I was just teasin'!

E: I wonder what happened to A.

Z: Speaking of whom...she deserves a great spanking from me!

E: Why?

Z: She's too lazy for words! I told her that it was her responsibility to let you update the diary everyday...BUT...she lets it lapse for FIVE WHOLE DAYS before she lets you in!!

E: You can't just nag at A and expect her to listen and do accordingly. She's the rebellious kind...especially when she's in a bad mood. See what happens, you dumb kid? (knocks him lightly on the head)

Z: Bad mood? Why?

E: I think she missed the Amsterdam Cup matches, where Parma plays against Barcelona and Manchester United. Plus they lost... so what kind of mood do you think she's in?

Z: Parma... that's the Italian Club which Nakata plays in?

E: (nods her head) And A doesn't exactly like Manchester United either. So considering the double blow.... Parma was thrashed three goals to nil by Man U... you can't possibly expect her to be happy.

Z: Ahhhh....*so desu ne*~~~. I was really stupid, then.

E: Hmmm....you know yourself rather well. A good trait of character, that.

Z: As opposed to you.

E: What do you mean by that, young man?

Z: I suppose that you think of yourself as intelligent?

E: Why, yes! Why shouldn't I?

Z: I rest my case. (Tries to stifle his urge to laugh.)

E: Are you delibrately trying to provoke me into a temper flare? Out with it!! Who instigated you on this mission? Was it A? Huh?!!

Z: *Yuan Wang ah...Da Ren*!! No one did!

E: C'mon...spit it out!!

Z: I...I just thought that your expression was too dead and wanted to inject some life in it....

E: My face looks dead? Huh? So now I'm both stupid and ugly in your eyes!! What a comforting fact!

Z: I just wanted to cheer you up...I don't think that you're ugly at all!

E: (rolls her eyes) Take note of the absence of stupid in his reassurance.

Z: Have you thrown away your sense of humour? What a great loss!!

E: Hehehe...And I thought you were the one who always suffered from....

Egg Egg did not get to finish...for she had fallen onto the floor mid-sentence. And there she laid like a corpse, leaving Zell standing with his mouth agape in shock.

Z: Egg Egg! What's wrong? Are you alright?

Egg Egg could not reply.

Z: Help!! Somebody!! A!!! Egg Egg has passed out!! What should I do now?

A ghoulish A materialised in front of him.

A: Touch her. Shake her.

Z: But...I can't!

A: Try with your heart, not your mind.

Z: Whatever that's supposed to mean!

A: You have to really wish for it to happen. And she has to be willing too.

Z: What are you talking about? Leaving riddles in the midst of an emergency!! You come down and revive her this instant!

A shakes her head mournfully.

A (cryptically): Love works in mysterious ways. You must not rely on me everytime something happens. I will not always be around to hold both your hands.

And she vanishes from the room.

Z: What an irresponsible woman!! Egg Egg!! Wake up!! You must join me in condemning her!!

Still, not a flutter of the eyelashes.

Zell, in a moment of desperation, tried to hold her small hand in his. But his hand stopped short of touching her...for there seemed to be a barrier between their skin obstructing their contact.

If only I could touch her! It is the only thing in the world that matters to me now...

He closed his eyes and wished hard. Achingly hard....

As if an answer to his prayers...he could feel a little bit of Egg Egg's cold fingers clasped in his hands. Followed by a tiny movement from those fingers, indicating that their owner was revived from her faint.

Zell stares disbelievingly at his hands, and her fingers.

Z: *Masaka*......

E(weakly): W... what happened?

Z: Egg Egg!!

He held her close to his chest, wanting to make sure that what he had experienced a moment ago was not just a dream.

Egg Egg widened her eyes in great surprise at the contact.

E: B... but... how can this be possible?

Z: Who knows? (Sheds tears of ecstasy)

E: It's the greatest discovery since gravity!!

Z: I know!! (Still crying)

E(red-faced): Err... Zell.

Z: Yes! Your wish is my command!

E: I can't breath.

Z: Ooops... (lets go of her reluctantly)

E: Hahahhahah.... Who would have believed that this could happen? How did you do it?

Z: I have no idea! But A said that if I wished really hard, I could do it.

E: A? She came?

Z: She did! But she's a little weird.

E: She's always been weird... nothing new.

Z: Not this weird! She said something about not being able to hold our hands all the time. Not that she does that, anyway.

E: She needs to see a shrink.

Z: I'm wondering why she doesn't already. She's got major personality problems.

E: We're a bunch of ingrates... now that you think of it.

Z: Ingrates?

E: She's the one who "gave birth" to us... and yet we're criticising her like mad... LOL

Z: What can I say... she deserves it?

E: You're bad!

Z: We share the honour... babe!

E: I expect about right now... she'll appear and...

Z and E: Three... two... one... zero!!

A: BUNCH OF UNFILIAL RETARDS!! IS THAT THE WAY TO TREAT YOUR "MOTHER"? DID YOU FORGET THAT IT WAS BECAUSE OF ME THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO TOUCH EACH OTHER? YOU WILL GET RETRIBUTION FOR THIS... JUST WAIT AND SEE!!

E: What did I tell you.

A: Ahhh... feels much better after yelling at someone. All that stale chi has been expelled from my body.

Z: How can you barge right into the middle of people's conversations! So rude!

A: Well, did you expect me to sit quietly while the two of you curse insanity on me?

E: Not really... we were just experimenting how long it would take you to respond. And you performed up to expectations, as usual.

A: You sound as if you have me all figured out... what a presumptious a**.

Z: You shouldn't use such uncouth language.

A: Didn't your dear Egg Egg tell you not to nag at me? Be careful that I seperate the two of you for a year!!

Z: That only means that she won't leave me for at least a year... by all means, do it! If you can resist the temptation to write... that is.

A: Big words coming from a young man. Let's see who wins in the end.

E: Don't I get any say in this?

A: No. Only I get a say... cos of my exclusive position as author of the story...ahahhahahahha wahahahahha yahahahahah!!

Z: Dangerous lunatic!

E: With an irritating laugh.

A: Ahhhh...shut up! Get out of my room!

E: YOUR room?

A: Yeah... you have anything else to say? If not, get out!

E: What a bully.

Z: (whispers into Egg Egg's ear) Never mind... we'll meet secretly. She won't find out.

Egg Egg raises her eyesbrows at him and doubts that his plan would work.

A: Get out, get out!! I wanna play games... not waste time with you twits!

Egg Egg, Zell and readers are gracefully invited to exit the room.

End of update.

Some words.
*so desu ne~~~* : Means "That is right~~~". A Japanese phrase.
*Yuan Wang ah! Da Ren!* : Means "I'm innocent! Your Highness!" A Chinese phrase. Sometimes, speaker of phrase will raise hands up into the air and bow subserviently before the other party.
*Masaka...* : "It can't be......"

- End of strange words explaination -

First, a word from yours truly.

"GORMEN NASAI!! I am terribly sorry for this delay in updating Virtual Diary with Zell! Now get on with the story."

August 18 2002 10:47hrs (GMT +08:00)

Z: Alright, alright, you win. I can't stand it when you delibrately stop writing just to win a bet!!!

A answers him with a brooding silence.

Z: What? Do you expect an apology from me? None, you hear? You're the one at wrong!

E: Errrr.... Zell. I don't think the bet's her reason for not writing.

Z: It isn't????!!!!!

E: My God! You can be so slow at times, Zell. If it were, she would be gloating all over us by now! For example, taunting us with "SO you have finally decided that I was right" or something like that.

Z: Now that you point it out......

Both looked in unison at A.

Z: What's she muttering about?

E: Dunno...let's take a closer listen.

A: Cannot be... why is that strange man in my dream? Only Hide can appear! WHY WHY WHY?!!!

Zell and Egg Egg stares at each other.

Z (eyes bulging like hard boiled eggs): Did you hear that?

E (nods): I wonder who is "that strange man"? Someone we know?

Z (shrugs): Beats me.

E (glint in eye): Let me try to wheedle it out of her.

Z: Hehehe... wicked egg.

Egg Egg sidles up to A and looks at her meaningfully.

A: WHY WHY WHY????? (clutches her head)

E: Why what? My darling Miss A?

A: Why does that strange man appear in my dreams?

E: Who is that strange man? Someone I know?

A: He's that one lor!! The lea....HEY!! Who says you can sneak up on me like that? Oh my heavens... I have fallen into a trap!! I should never have started writing so soon! Let the two of you suffer more so that you will treat me with gratitude and respect next time!! Shoo!! Out, all of you!!

E: Darn... what a miscalculated step.

Z: What a loser. Mulling over a dream and then venting it out on us.

E: Shush, Zell. She's mentally unstable these days. Leave her alone.

Z: Wait, before you leave......

E: What?

Zell pulls her towards him and gives her a tiiiight embrace.

Z: There. At least I won't have to grow mad missing you.

E: Next time, give me a warning before you do it. I almost bit on my tongue, you baka!

Z: Ah, so you will let me touch you if I warn you first?

E: Th...at's that's a different story altogether...

Z: Yeah!! I have your consent!

A: Do I have to repeat myself again?!!!!!