Another entry from Egg Egg, like so many others.
Entry 35
Ihadadream.sav
June 11 2002
E: I have a tax paper tomorrow, a major exam. And yet my mind does not want to go back to its home; it wants to wonder all over the place. I think the cause is due to those two dreams I had about Nakata-kun last night...when I think about it, I want to laugh myself to the death. I know it's stupid, but I will tell you what they are about. Don't you dare laugh at me, Zell!!
In the background, a beautiful track plays on......
The first dream
I am at the spectator stands, watching a match between Japan and some unknown country. It would have been half-time, and both teams are trooping towards their locker rooms.
Amidst all the cheering from the other Japanese fans, I could not hear a single thing. For my whole being is intensely concentrated on N.H's figure. I stare at him for a long time. A wave of sorrow sweeps over me, and I want to escape from the place before anything embarrassing happens. But just before I make my move, he seemed to have sensed my gaze. He looks up and spots me. Our eyes met for a while. My heart starts beating faster than I can bear it.
And then, I did the most inexplicable thing for the life of me. I smiled at him, a sad one. And I turn on my heel, walking away.
I could just imagine his perplexed expression. I sneak a look, and just as I suspected, his mouth was agape, his eyes round in surprise. He was just standing there, staring at my turned back!
I walk out of the stadium. And he joins his team mates in the locker room.
All this had happened in the space of fifteen seconds.
Z: What an MTV-ish sequence it was.
The Second Dream
From afar, I could see him at the end of the street. I was so happy that I rushed towards him. I wanted to tell him how much I had missed him. He smiled back at me, welcoming with his open arms.
"How strange it is," I thought curiously, "that there is no one here to mob him! I hope it stays this way for a least a few minutes."
This hope was mercilessly crushed, however. A huge crowd of screaming high-school girls, evidently fans of his, had gathered around him. His eyes fell upon me in a loss, then looked at them again. Those girls were all over him, clawing at his clothes, some trying to steal a kiss. (hehe)
The green-eyed jealousy monster seized my body. How I had wanted to run up to them and separate them from him!! And proclaim loudly: "He's mine! Don't you dare touch him a bit!!" But I simply can't...something intangible is stopping me.
And I walk away again, filled with a sense of loss and dejection.
He reaches his hand toward my direction, trying feebly to stop me from leaving but was again obstructed by the glob of screaming fans.
Z: That, is the height of egotism!!!! Do you suppose that you could command so much attention from N.H.? It is a sign of your impending delirium, if you ask me!!
E: ......I know it sounds egoistical. But I can't help it, it's a dream that I can't control!
Z: You were very right.
E: About what?
Z: About this being stupid. It is stupid, but I can't find it in my heart to laugh at you.
E: Why not?
Z: Because I find you pitiful. Pitiful that you are still suffering from infatuation at such an age. They call it Flower-Idiot in Chinese (that's the literal translation. I'm not sure about the English version.)
E: I know! I know too well that I'’m hopelessly stupid. I'm an idiot!! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!
Z: Hey hey, don't cry!! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be so harsh on you...
E: Isn't your fault...my tear glands work too much...
Z: Here, dry your tears. (Hands out an imaginary tisuue)
E: Thank you. (Dries off her tears with the back of her hand.)
Z: Why are you crying again?
E: I was thinking...if only I wasn't so in like with Nakata-kun, then all would be fine. I had never realised how good you are to me.
Z: Of course I'm good to you! I'm you friend, I must show you concern when you're heart-broken.
E: Oh...I've misunderstood your intentions again.
Z: I'm terribly sorry.
E: Don't...I'm just too down on my luck...don't bother about me. You're right. I'm getting delirious.
Z: Please do not take that to heart! I was only joking when I said that!
E: I'm going to take an afternoon nap.
Z: (Tries to kiss her on the forehead) Muah.
E: Tank Cute (Actually means Thank You)
Z: Such a baby you are!
E: If only I were one...I wouldn't fall in love with people, and I wouldn't get hurt.
Z: But you also would not be able to play FFVIII!
E: You're right.
Z: Alright, sleep in peace. I will accompany you until you're in slumberland.
E: I'm so...touched...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Egg Egg finally wakes up from her slumber. The first thing she does was talk to Zell......
E: Zell, I have found out something interesting. Wanna share the knowledge?
Z: What is it?
E: Zell, did you know that you look a little bit like Hidetoshi Nakata? I was so shocked with the discovery when I first registered that fact!
Z: Don't be ridiculous! We do not look alike at all, from whichever angle you might choose! Even the skin colour is different! And don't you try to forget, that I am not an existing person in the real world!! That should make it a world of difference!
E: But...both your makers were from Japan!!
Z: (Splutters) Whhhhat??? MAKERS? What a weird point of view you have!!
E: You just don't get it! The most important thing is, you both have perfect smiles that melt my heart, and honest, sincere eyes that set it aflutter!!
Z: I can't win you at arguments. You always have the last word!
E: Let's not talk about this topic. Say something about yourself! How is it going on between you and your little pig-tailed girlfriend?
Z: T...that way.
E: That way is which way? Oh...your face is so red. How cute!
Z: Y...you are asking for a beating!
E: How are things? Tell me, I'm very interested.
Z: J...just that we eat hotdogs at the cafeteria sometimes...and watch some movies. It's nothing special...you hear?
E: Nothing Special? Would you bring an ordinary girl to meet your mom? Would you? Huh, Zell?
Z: Who...who told you that?
E: Tsk, Tsk, Zell! Do you really think that I will tell you where my sources of information come from?
Z: THAT DAMNABLE SEIFER!!! I'LL CRUSH HIS BRAIN!!
E: Hey, hey, hey!! Don't you insult me! I dislike him immensely! I do not, and will not ever talk to him, ever!!
Z: Then who is it?
E: You will not try to steer the conversation away!!
Z: Man, you're a hard one to crack! But I did bring you to meet my mom, too. That didn't represent anything, did it?
E: Zell, Zell, Zell!! That is so different! I'm the gamer, so naturally I had to meet your mom. I had to win your card from her!!
Z: Oh. I see.
E: Did you know that I had never used your card to play those card games before, if I had a choice? If I had landed the random rule, and had to use it, I would be so vexed!! I was so afraid of losing it!!
Z: Oh!! So which cards did you use, then?
E: Basically, I would use:
Sacred (Bottom-Right Corner)
Minotaur (Upper-Right Corner)
Diablos (Upper-left corner)
Ifrit (To the left of Sacred) and finally,
Quistis (Usually played as last card.)
Sometimes, I would replace Quistis' card with another character, but never yours.
Z: Wow...But wouldn't Quistis be sad that you weren't too concerned about losing her card?
E: Of course not!! Her card was very strong, as she was herself! I had lost very few matches with that strategy. And even if I did, I would reset the game again. She is very highly valued in my opinion.
Z: Rank your characters in FFVII in order of preference.
E: 1. Zell (But of course.)
2. Selphie (WooHoo!!)
3. Quistis (Thank You.)
4. Squall (Why? Why has the main character fallen to such a pathetic position?)
5. Rinoa (Do you not like me? Do you hate me?)
6. Irvine (Miss...how could you treat me like this? I am so sad!!)
Actually, the difference between number 2 to 5 isn't very big. It's only that Zell had (had? In the past tense?) been the one I loved most, and as for Irvine...I had to try hard to recall his name. (Embarrassed giggle)
Z: If Irvine knew what you thought of him, he would be devastated. He always thought of himself as a ladies man.
E: I can only offer my apologies to him, then. But I think he's going to be fine. He can jolly well use it as an excuse to draw consolation from Selphie!! That is one of the oldest tricks in the book! He should thank me for it!
Z: How shameless you are.
E: Hey! What is so wrong about a broken-hearted person making fun of other lovey-dovey couples? I would have thought that they owe it to me to be teased!
Z: No...no. I didn't say that. Pretend you never heard that...
But speaking of lovey-dovey couples...why didn't you tease Squall and Rinoa instead?
E: Are you trying to kill me? Squall looks as if he can't take a joke; he's so serious all the time! If I tease him, what if he uses his ultra limit break, Lionheart against me? I would vanish before I can say Nakata-sama!!
Z: What a change. From Hidetoshi Nakata to Nakata-kun, and finally to Nakata-sama. Can you just standardise it to one name only? It's not as if you can use the name anyway you like. Be careful if someone sues you!! You are making me sick just at the mention of his name, so saturated this diary is with it!! And aren't you exaggerating it a bit when you said that about Squall? He isn't as bad as he looks. He just has a painful past and a heavy burden that a person such as you couldn't possibly imagine.
E: Alright, alright! We're all morally uptight today, aren't we? Speaks as if he is the honcho of morality. Let's talk about something else.
Z: Say it, then.
E: I think that Quistis is rather pitiful.
Z: How so? I'm sure she wouldn't be too happy to hear that.
E: Well, in the end, every one in the game gets to have a partner, even you. And yet, she could only watch in vain...especially since the one she loves is that cold and insensitive Squall.
Z: I do not think that you are in the position to say that about Quistis. How about yourself? Aren't you in the same plight as her?
E: In a way...but her capability far surpasses my own. And she has a group of good friends such as you to support her. What a predicament...I envy as I pity her at the same time!!
Z: Don't you worry. I will always be a friend of yours.
Egg did not reply. Perhaps, she didn't need to reply.
Yet another few hours pass...it was now close to the end of the day, a few minutes to midnight.
Egg had managed to catch a few winks, but in between, she kept waking up to speak to Zell.
Z: What's wrong? Your eyes are red and swollen!!
E: I had another dream.
Z: Isn't that the norm these few days?
E: Yes it is...only he had actually spoken in this one. And there were hard words to swallow.
Z: Tell me about them.
E: He says to me with stern expression: "I forbid you to think about me again! You have caused my eyelids to twitch all day, distracting my game!! How am I supposed to concentrate in the matches with all that twitching? And every few minutes, there would be a chill running up and down my spine!! Please! I beg of you! Let me off, will you?" And he stalks away from me as if I were vermin.
Z: You know that that wasn't the real one speaking! He has millions of high-school girls screaming his name, obsessing with his face every single day. If he were to be mindful of every single one of them, wouldn't he die of exhaustion?
E: That is precisely my point! I am just one face in all those millions.
Z: Oh.
E: Every single day, my heart breaks in a another way with every new realisation that he doesn't know of my existence. I really wonder how long I can take this. Oh Heaven above, please let me shift my affections to another!!
Z: (shakes his head) I'm afraid that I can't help you with that. What a shame.
E: I know, Zell. You have my interests at heart. Thanks. I was thinking...if only my imagination wasn't so fertile...then it would have been better for me.
Z: No, you have no idea that some people would give a leg to have your imagination! You should be thankful of it!!
E: Maybe. I would probably die of boredom without it.
Z: I told you so. It's good that you realise its importance.
E: Zell, you sound like a kind mother. HAHAHA.
Z: I do not!!
E: I won't bicker with you...have to sleep more...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Just as Zell was about to terminate himself after Egg Egg had snored away for a good couple of hours, he was stopped again by another of her outbursts. He sighed as he gave up the hope of having a much-needed rest, for the computer had already been on for no less than two days.
Z: Why are you awake? Don't tell me...you've had another tearful dream about you-know-who.
E: (nods softly, as if her head was too heavy for her neck to support)
Z: Why am I not surprised at all? But this is just soooo weird! How is it possible that you get to dream of him every single day, and for as long as I can recall, every single hour? That is so difficult for normal people! The chance is about one to a thousand!!
M: Well, as you know very well, I am not what most would catergorise as normal. And they say that what you think in the day, you dream of it at night.
Z: Who said that?
M: I believe it was the Ancient Chinese. The hanyu pinyin version would be "Ri you suo si, ye you suo meng".
Z: As if I would know what hanyu pinyin is.
E: Well, it's just the pronounciation of Chinese words converted into English letters.
Z: Of absolutely no use to me, let me inform you.
E: Well, I just thought you would be interested in learning a little Chinese.
Z: Not at all.
E: You're being so objectional this days.
Z: Anyway, I am not fully convinced about your theory. If it works that way, why didn't you dream of once back then?
E: I don't know...I mustn't have thought of you often enough.
Z: Why am I getting mixed feelings?
E: Beats me.
Z: Are you sure you should be divulging your innermost secrets to me? Someone might come across this and read it, and wouldn't you be embarrassed if that someone turns out to be you-know-who?
E: I would want to disappear from the face of the Earth. By the way, I object to you referring to Nakata-kun as you-know-who! It sounds soooo rude that I want to give you one big tight slap.
Z: Not every one has an obsession with him. I insist on calling him whatever I like.
E: You have your rights. But you had better know when to stop provoking me.
Z: Sure. Wouldn't want to get terminated permanently.
E: Actually, I think that I would have more chances in passing BOTH my papers for this sitting than that happening.
Z: Than what happening? I really can't keep up with you.
E: The chances of our diary being read by that crucial someone, of course!!
Z: And what would that be, my dear lady?
E: Practically nil, my boy! Here I am, sitting here and chatting rubbish to you, when my Advanced Taxation paper is… 14 hours away!! I haven't slept much, as it is. Plus I have 700 pages of my book to cover.
Z: But you've already slept like a pig just now...But it's good to know that you have the decency to take note of your progress in your impending exams. And yet you're wasting time here, with me! You are brave, girl. And foolish. Real foolish.
E: I can't concentrate at all. I used to try to cram in as much knowledge as I can in the last hour for my previous exams...But somehow, I feel so unmotivated this time!!
Z: What a great excuse that is.
E: The more I try to force myself to study, the harder it becomes, Zell!!
Z: Yeah, I truly believe you.
E: The disapproval in your eyes tells me differently. Anyway, I haven't told you about the dream.
Z: Say it, then. And be quick, so that you can get back to your book.
E: I was talking to him, somewhere. I can't recall the place. It was one of those rare moments where he wasn't mobbed.
My head down, I mumbled:
"Sorry, Nakata-kun. I can't watch your game against Tunisia this Friday." I was almost in tears.
"Why is that?" Puzzlement creased his forehead.
"I...I have a paper coming up on that day. I can't afford to miss it." My voice quivered with the burden on my tear glands.
"What? How could you!! My game is less important than your exam? And you proclaim yourself to be my fan!!"
I was so struck by his words that I broke down uncontrollably, kneeling on the ground with despair.
"Ah...that was just a joke! Don't take it seriously! Concentrate on your studies. We will win, don't worry!" He patted me on the back.
"Thank you." Said I , with conflicting emotions.
Z: Conflicting emotions? Why?
E: He was not blaming me, so I felt immensely relieved.
Z: But?
E: I wasn't indispensable. He did not show any disappointment that I hadn't made his match my first priority. And he didn't have much of a reaction when I shed tears.
Z: GOD!! Girl, you are soooo greedy!
E: I know.
Z: Anyway, he has millions of Japanese fans to support him, being on home ground.
E: But I really want to watch his every move!!
Z: Watch the repeat telecast, then.
E: That's different! I want to curse the opposing team while praying hard for Japan to score. Especially him.
Z: Oh
E: Another thing bugs me.
Z: What?
E: I haven't gotten a picture of him that can be made into an amulet for my exam.
Z: So? You have mine that you made for last sitting.
E: Guess I'll just have to settle for that.
Z: Why do I feel like a substitute?
E: NVM. I have to study for my Tax Paper.
Z: Shoo...Go!!
E: BTW, Zell.
Z: What is it this time?
E: You are starting to sound like a friend of mine.
Z: Now I'm getting jealous. Who is he?
E: I can't tell you.
Z: You can tell me about your dreams, but not about your friend?
E: Yep.
Z: I won't ask for a reason. As if you would give me one anyway.
E: You understand me well. That's why you sound like him.
Z: Oh. I guess I should be honoured then.
E: You should terminate yourself about now. I have to study.
Beep. Zell exits and the computer is shut down.
Shattered Dreams...uh no...Tattered links.
The Yisheigai Intro
The Cursed Living Doll
The Storyteller's Tent
The Virtual Diary with Zell Intro
Part II - What N.H. did to Egg Egg
Part IV - So many changes, so many ups and downs
The Zell and Hidetoshi Nakata Pictures
