The Ball State Daily News
A few interesting thoughts crossed my mind during the men’s basketball game on Saturday. Number one, we really can’t shoot free throws. Number two, I was really hungover. Although these two thoughts didn’t take much research they were still quite important, but not as important as my third revelation; we needed to spice up the halftime entertainment.
Sure, many people think it’s fun to watch middle-aged, out of shape idiots attempt lay-ups, free throws, three pointers and the emphasize half court bomb. Maybe fans enjoy watching people grab money from inside a box that circulates air. Maybe, yes maybe, I’m right, people just don’t enjoy the halftime show.
After 20 minutes of research, I came to the conclusion that many fans enjoyed watching the Ball State Poms. So, using my college education, I had slightly modified the Pom idea and came up with something much better; Poms vs. Cheerleaders full-court basketball for your entertainment.
Hand check fouls would be eliminated, although highly encouraged.
Another new rule would substitute free throws with backflips on each shooting foul and any fouls over the team limit.
Jump balls would require both teams to build a human pyramid then the ball would be thrown up for grabs.
During each timeout both teams would be required to perform for the crowd in alternating order, followed by smacking each other on the ass on the way back out on the court.
Both teams would have to attempt shots with their pom poms, ensuring tough, physical play inside the paint.
Successful three point field goals would be followed each team collectively attempting the world’s longest leapfrog.
All team fouls over 10 permits the team in the bonus to add one player into the current lineup, making the number uneven.
The band would consist of several players from the football, basketball, baseball, and field hockey, and other sports teams. This allows the two teams on the court to seek revenge, for hours of countless cheering at different athletic venues throughout the year.
Now that we have modified the rules, lets take a look at Saturday’s lineups.
Starting at point guard for the Poms, Nikki Sparks. Sparks, a junior, brings her team a couple years of experience and great enthusiasm. She will be matched up against foamier Muncie central standout, Wendy Whittern. Whittern, also a junior, brings her team experience and the ability to perform many high flying routines. Both have veteran experience, and the matchup looks to be fairly even.
The shooting guard matchup consists of Shaunda Young for the Cheerleaders and Ashley Jones from the Pom squad. Both gals seem equal in athletic ability and enthusiasm. This matchup may include many forced shots and screams of school spirit.
At power forward, Lauren Coverdale brings excitement and years of experience for the Cheerleader squad. Coverdale will be matched up against the sensational Tiffany Powers. Powers, still bitter from last week’s loss at Miami of Ohio, is looking to relieve her frustration.
The small forward matchup is rather interesting. Sophomore Sara Adams looks to penetrate off the dribble, while her counterpart from the Pom squad Katrina Mesina is a perimeter player. Both players are young, and susceptible to turnovers.
The center matchup provides a rather interesting thought, are either players natural centers? Amy Cook leads the Poms in rebounds and blocks. Yet Rena Twilley leads the MAC in fouls and rebounds. Who knows what may become of this matchup?
Now that the matchups are set and the rules are in place, lets play ball!
Let’s not say I am making fun of the cheerleaders and poms, but merely adding an interesting twist to the currently dull halftime show. Afterall ladies, many people enjoy watching your performance.
Hey, we can expect the unexpected.
Write to Scott at scottswain1@hotmail.com
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