Author's Notes for the Angels series

This was my first fic. I think it shows in places. (blush) A songfic, also obviously. I am bisexual, knew I was bisexual in high school when I was an awkward bespectacled bookworm with messy brown hair who spent my time looking without looking at the lovely dark-haired girl who played flute across the room from me. So much of it is drawn from my own experiences. It blossomed, however, past that. There was Bill. I didn't set out to write Bill as gay, but, well, it WORKS. He'd obviously gotten to the point where it just was a thing, like his hair, and not something that ruled his entire life...the point I'm at now. The incident about getting one's nose broken when one asked another if you wanted to go swap spit occured to my husband as a teenager. (He was the breaker, not the breakee, and has felt guilty ever since.) While I've never assumed someone wasn't gay/bi when they were, I have before spent time dancing around my religious beliefs only to have the other person dancing around theirs and blush to discover we were both pagans trying not to accidentally come out to the cowan we were talking to. (grin) And I gave it a bonafide Happy Ending, because I like them.

However, I had a feeling that I wanted to work more with those characters. So I said, "What do I wonder about?" and one of them was that, well, people do have to come out of the bedroom. That's one issue for lesbian couples in the real world. So I said, well, Ginny's family's taking it well, what about Hermione's? And once I decided they were taking it badly, I had to decide why. Margaret Granger's history of sexual abuse caught me by surprise. I wrote that particular snippet in one go, start to finish, no changes, and it made me cry. It appears that I'm going by story order, but the first thing that came to my mind is the sheer fury that it would cause to a boy who'd gotten everything he ever wanted to discover that a girl is....not interested. Especially if he's handsome. The near-rape scene was the second thing I wrote. All that intervening stuff is background and fill in to get them there. (grin)

Am I still working in that universe? Yes. As of this point (12/5/03) I'm writing a follow up to Many Faces Of Love dealing with separation, and the dangers of the adult world for girls who think they're all grown up, entitled "New Beginnings", which is online as a work in progress.



And here, for anyone interested, are the lyrics to the song that inspired this.


"Angels Will Fall", by Melissa Etheridge

The rope that's wrapped around me
Is cutting through my skin
And the doubts that have surrounded me
Are finding their way in
I keep it close to me
Like a holy man prays
In my desperate hour
It's better that way

So I'll come by and see you again
I'll be such a very good friend
Have mercy on my soul
I will never let you know
Where my mind has been

Angels never came down
There's no one here they want to hang around
But if they knew
If they knew you at all
Then one by one the angels
Angels would fall

I've crept into your temple
I have slept upon your pew
I've dreamed of the divinity
Inside and out of you
I want it more than truth
I can taste it on my breath
I would give my life just for a little death

So I'll come by and see you again
I'll be just a very good friend
I will not look upon your face
I will not touch upon your grace
Your ecclesiastic skin

I'll come by and see you again
I'll have to be a very good friend
If I whisper they will know
I'll just turn around and go
You will never know my sin

Email: bellagia@hotmail.com