Author's Notes for A Safe Darkness/ Fragments of Copper/A Gracious Silence
A Safe Darkness/Fragments of Copper/A Gracious Silence: Ah, yes, the BDSM!Ginny story. Although there's more than that. She was twelve when Riddle possessed her. At twelve, I was dealing with this immense overshadowing force trying to shove its hormonal body-changing way into my body and mind and emotions, too. There's no WAY she doesn't have Riddle mixed up with sex inextricably. And quite possibly with feeling, too. He strikes me as the kind of sick bastard who'd muddle it all together and leave her to live with that for the rest of her life. Genesis of this one came when I was listening to "Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin Park on the radio, and the chorus about healing and feeling just made me think of my own anhedonic and damn near depersonalized adolescence in reaction to a rape, and a statement made by someone on a message board about freedom in surrender. And so I had to decide who to put on the other end...and why not Draco? Because he might be equally wounded. I knew this would be a two-parter when I wrote it, but had to wait a while to find my opening tonal "hook" for the second part. And when I came up with the statement about intimacy tasting like blood...I had it.
Theoretically, this wasn't meant to have a sequel. Because life isn't always tidy. Except I'm a sucker for happy endings, and they decided to let me see one...both for him and for her, in "A Gracious Silence." So now it's a series. Healing isn't forgetting, though...
And here, as always, are the lyrics that inspired this....
Somewhere I Belong, by Linkin Park
(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
[Repeat Chorus]
I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else until my wounds
are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today
[Repeat Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong
Email: bellagia@hotmail.com