Episode

2

Roses Can't
Smile,

DUH

Episode Two: Roses Can't Smile, Duh.

Utena's, like, totally being admired by all the lesbians in the school, so she goes into this class and starts talking in Japanese or something. She says:

UTENA: Wakaba, I thought you were freakin' illiterate or something, what are you reading?

WAKABA: This totally awesome graphic novel called Magnolia Waltz. This girl just, like, shaved her head or something so the guy likes her now.

UTENA: Owned.

Later, Touga, Saionji, and the freakish Punks are meeting again, and they're, like, discussing Saionji's totally stupid loss to that new babe in 8th grade. They're all, like, pissed and stuff, because this totally James Brown-esque orginazation, World's End, like, made her a duelist without their permission.

Meanwhile, Utena and Wakaba are walking or something totally macarenaish like that. Wakaba's all like:

WAKABA: OMFG, that gave us different rooms, I'll assassinate the Dean for this. Your dorm's all haunted and stuff because the sacred cockroach god or something pissed on it. Just thought I'd let you know so you could join the Insomniac Club.

UTENA: You should drop by some time so I can totally feed you to the bear cubs.

So Wakaba goes away or something, and Utena walks into her room after playing ping pong with herself against the walls and stuff. Anthy's there and Utena gets all like:

UTENA: Go away, you freaking pedophile.

ANTHY: I'm your new roommate and personal slave. Whip me. And then feed my monkey cakes and stuff so he can get fat and I can eat him later or something.

And if it's not gay enough yet, Anthy shows up late for dinner and Utena and Chuchu ate all of it already or something because she was busy having an affair with Saionji. So the next day, Saionji and Utena have to duel again and Saionji's like:

SAIONJI: I was delirious on weight loss pills yesterday, but today, I will own that dot on Anthy's head again or something totally diplomatic like that.

UTENA: Shut up, I already turned neon pink and won or something.

SAIONJI: I will have my revenge on the moon, wart head.

END.until after that ending song with language issues finishes and all that jazz or something.