Episode

4

Gardens Can't Be Preludely Sunny, DUH

Episode Four: Gardens Can't Be Preludely Sunny, Duh.

Punk #1 is playing piano and stuff in this room, and Nanami walks up and TOTALLY starts flirting with him. She nags him about not competing in the piano competition or something totally annoying like that. His name is Miki and Nanami starts, like, flipping through his book and sees a picture of Anthy, which makes her, like, so totally jealous like a frog or something gross like that.

Meanwhile, Utena and Wakaba are in math class, which they're both totally failing like broken flag poles or something idiotic of the sort. And Wakaba goes:

WAKABA: My onion of a mom told me to hit guys over the head with, like, logic or something totally deep and meaningful like that.

UTENA: I can't say 38 three times fast. Darn.

Somewhere else, Anthy is getting beat up again by those stupid hair cuts who're going, like:

HAIRCUT #1: It's so totally your fault that Miki stopped playing the piano because we need someone to like blame and you're freakish enough or something. And that dot on your head goes too well with your shoes.

ANTHY: Der...

MIKI: Shove the hell off and stop picking on my love interest and stuff. Anthy? Hi, I'm Miki-whoops, there goes that blush of mine again or something totally preteenish like that.

ANTHY: Your papers. They, like, fell.

Utena is still sitting somewhere, like, high and stuff and she sees Miki and Anthy because she's all cool like a periscope and stuff. So she asks:

UTENA: OMG, who's that totally cute dude Anthy's stealing from the Australian population?

WAKABA: Oh, that's Miki. He sword fights and stuff and he, like, takes college level classes because he ate Jack's beans as a kid or something and turned into a genius boy with Klinefelter's syndrome.

UTENA: Oh.

Later, Miki is sitting in the library or something totally late-night like that, and Punk #2 notices him and says:

PUNK #2: OMFG, you're grading a retard's paper, Miki, their stupidness might rub off on you. You should stay away from that paper or something totally superstitious like that.

MIKI: It's okay, Juri. It's for a friend.

JURI: Oh. I thought you were all in love with the piano and antisocial or something. Sorry.

Later, Miki is tutoring Anthy, who will never understand Algebra and is making freakishly disoriented flip books. Utena walks in and goes:

UTENA: Oh, dude, you're so lucky to have a tutor. Nobody'll help me cuz, like, they're afraid I'll turn into a car and run them over or something.

MIKI: You can join us if you'd like or something totally polite and unnecessary like that.

UTENA: Gracias, mi amigo. Que pasa contigo o algo totalmente loco y duro entender como eso?

MIKI: Hi, I'm Miki, the Official Student Council stopwatch-clicker or something totally unimportant like that, be amazed by my ring.

UTENA: You disfigured vampire, you're after the rose bride, too. I'll totally freakin' kill you after you teach me what a common denominator is.

MIKI: No, you're sadly mistaken like the missing link between a sponge and a dinosaur. I think dueling is, like, wrong or something, so I don't duel, even though I could own all of your ears* because of my superior fencing skills.

UTENA: You're so cool and stuff. Let's be totally ueber-friends.

Later, Miki comes back to the dorm for another tutoring session with Nanami or something because of his major crush on girls with totally off-white hair colours. Utena greets him, and he goes:

MIKI: Sorry I'm late, I hope you don't mind.I brought Nanami along because she's been eating too many anti-oxidants lately and needs the company of totally radical* weirdos like you.

UTENA: No problem. Anthy's shaving her ice or something totally scratchy like that so that you all can have some sort of deformed snow cone.

During the tutoring, Nanami goes insane because her plan to taint Anthy's image is ruined because there's too many squids in the closet or something totally impossible like that. So she gets mad and Anthy goes away and shows Miki her stupendous harpsichord skills or something that Mikage records for the second OST because Mamiya sucked out all of his creativity or something totally malicious like that.

END to be continued after that symbolic scene where Anthy totally looks like she's going to kill Dios.