Avoiding Toxic Magical Groups
Written by: Estelle Daniels

Being a good magical practitioner means using consumer skills in evaluating
a psychic or magical group before you join it. Most groups are ethical and
healthy, but some are not. One has to take constant care to avoid unhealthy
situations.

The most important rule to remember when examining a group is to use your
instincts. Don't argue against your own common sense. If it feels wrong or
bad to you, don't let anyone talk you into believing otherwise. It if sounds
too good to be true, it probably is. If the claims of the leaders sound
overblown or unrealistic, they probably are.

Be willing to investigate and verify claims. If the leader says something
like, "I was trained by Merlin Ambrosius who awarded me his special third
degree," ask for Merlin's number and follow up. Diplomas can be faked,
so a piece of paper is no guarantee. If your request to check up is met with bad
feelings, threats, or curses, be wary.

If a person makes mundane claims (for example, "I consult for the local
police") call for confirmation. If the police say , "We have never heard of
this person," this can confirm someone is not telling the truth. If the
claims are fantastic or unverifiable (like "I was an NSA agent researching
psychokinetics") be wary. There are people who feel compelled to boost their
importance. A good teacher or leader is a good teacher or leader, and that's
all you should need.

Ask for references. Watch people's reactions. Are they polite, surprised,
hostile, or paranoid? The more extreme a reaction is to a benign request,
the more it signals warning. If they tell you to take everything on faith,
use your instincts. They might try to make you feel bad for doubting or
having natural reservations. They might have a million reasons to combat
doubts or misgivings. Beware. The more they try to persuade or coerce, the
more it could be a scam. Alternatively, the more secretive and enticing it
sounds, and the more they appear to resist you, the more barriers you have
to hurdle, the more they can be trying to set you up.

How you hook up with a group is also an indicator. Were you referred by a
friend, or do you have a contact in the group? This is the best way of
assuring the group is okay. However, there are groups that capitalize on
this. If an old friend from out of the blue tries to recruit you, be wary.

If a friend gets into something, and his or her behavior changes, evaluate
whether the change is positive or sinister before you decide to follow.

If you make a contact through the Internet, be extremely cautious. Make sure
the first meetings are in a public place of your choice. Bring friends along
if you are apprehensive. If it feels wrong, leave and never turn back. Some
people count on the anonymity of the Internet to foster their schemes.

Was the contact through a bookstore or coffeehouse? Ask the proprietors
about the group or person. If they know nothing, use the same techniques for
the Internet. If you answered an ad, be cautious also. If it does turn out
to be a scam, inform the paper.

Before you commit, find out what your obligations will be, in time and
resources. Find out what you will learn, what the teachers or leaders will
do. Get a feel for the group and people. Get a good idea of any financial
obligations. If it's a training group, will you be guaranteed a degree? Be
honest with yourself. Don't try to make the group something it is not.

Once you are in the group, do not abandon your instincts. Keep perspective.
A group that demands all of your time has the wrong priorities. Is it you
who are choosing to take the time or is the group making demands on you, or
both? If it's too much, you may have to drop out. It happens.

Beware of a group that states all books all wrong, except theirs. Ask about
the rules up front. If the rules are nebulous or changing, watch out. If
punishment for breaking the rules seems out of proportion or is threatening,
run away. If you are required to undergo some ordeal, make sure you have
some idea of what it entails. Psychological and verbal challenges are
common, but requirements to imbibe unknown substances or inhale unfamiliar
things are not. Tell the group you have allergies and must know always what
you are ingesting. If you are made to feel vulnerable in some way (no
clothes, in an unfamiliar place), be sure you feel okay about it. If you are
isolated for a day or more, be very wary. This can be a possible attempt at
psychological reprogramming.

If you are coerced or pressured to have sex with anyone affiliated with the
group, run away. There are unethical people everywhere, and sex in exchange
for something is a common coercion. Romance does happen, but in the context
of a magical or religious group, it should be carefully examined.

Are threats made by group members? This can range from threats of cursing
you if you leave, to threats of terrible disasters befalling friends or
family from supernatural forces. These are more common in religious-based
groups, but magical groups can do this also.

If you leave a group and group members cause problems for you, take action.
If a crime is committed, go to the police. If you explain the circumstances,
most law enforcement personnel will understand, and since the time of Jim
Jones they are more educated about these scams.

Don't beat yourself up if you did make a mistake. Take the experience as a
lesson, and make sure you do not repeat it. Learn the warning signs and keep
them in your mind.

I hope you will never have a bad group experience, but if you do, use these
guidelines. If you keep your eyes open and examine people and claims
with a critical eye, you should avoid the worst manipulations.