Before the baby is born, it is important for any magical family to discuss with all frankness and honesty, the subject of children in Circle. Realize that there may be members of your magical family who are not comfortable around kids. Do not take this personally. Not everyone has maternal/paternal instincts. Nor do all magical traditions suit the chaotic energy that children can bring to a ritual. A couple of issues to consider are:

* How flexible is the structure of your rituals? If the Circle Construct is fairly elaborate and rigid, then children may not be appropriate.

* Are you in the closet? Then consider the inherent risks once the child is old enough to talk. If that risk is unacceptable to you, then it is probably best that you not plan to bring your child to Circle.

The other reason for starting the discussion so soon is to help set up guidelines/resources for your new family. If your group decides children would not suitable, then:

* start looking for a pagan friendly baby-sitter.

* discuss whether you and your partner take turns alternating between baby-sitting and attending ritual.

* If you are not happy with the decision, start the process for an amicable parting.

Remember, including your child needs to be a decision based on what is best for your group and the magic it generates. If children are not suitable, don't take it personal. Just as babies are not suitable for other places, your Circle may not be.

If your group decides the Baby is welcome, Great!

* Find a comfortable carrier to use in circle -- something that is easy to remove if you want to put baby down.

* Be prepared to sit outside the Dancing. Have fun watching the psychic light show instead, or sit in the center and you and your baby can feel part of the universe.

* Clear a corner in the ritual space where baby can sleep in case you get that lucky!

* Start having members of your magical family become acquainted with your youngin' as honorary Aunts and Uncles -- that way, the baby will be comfortable being held by others. This will allow you to take part in ritual.

* If baby has a bottle, arrange to have it placed on the floor directly under the chalice during the wine blessing. That way, it will get blessed too!

* Or you can anoint the child with the wine from the chalice to include them in the blessing.

* If baby needs changing, leave the Circle. Face it, even parents don't like poopy diapers at times! Let the baby determine if you need to leave at any other time.

* Watch your child's reactions. They will show an infinity to certain elements or energies. It can be fun to watch.

* If your baby seems particularly sensitive, make a shielding amulet to pin to the baby's clothes.

* Dress baby in cool clothing. Especially in a carrier, they can get over heated. I often would have mine in just a diaper.

* If they get energized by an element, soothe them down with the opposite one.

* Most importantly, acknowledge that babies in Circles, bring a different energy, so be prepared to go with the flow and let the child sometimes lead the way.

* Even if Baby is welcome, occasionally plan to attend ritual alone. The break can be as good as a long nap.

* It will take few times for your magical family to adjust to having children around. Though don't be surprised if they have an easier time of it then you! If you are used to taking a major role in rituals, let others have a turn for a change. Babies do like calling elementals. But if you do, make sure you have an alternate choice of symbols other than burning incense or candles.

Babes in Circles can be a joy and can teach you a new way of seeing the magic. Remember, flexibility is the key.

This article was first published in the Accord, Journal of the Council of the Magical Arts, Spring Equinox, 1997 issue in the column "The Family Path."