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| Welcome to Survivor's Empowerment Zone! |
~ Does The Person You Love ~
- Track all of your time or check up on you often as if you are not trusted?
- Constantly accuse you of being unfaithful and sleeping around?
- Discourage your relationships with family and friends?
- Prevent you from working, attending school or going out?
- Criticize you for little things, like you can not do even simple things right?
- Totally ignore you or your children, like you are not even there?
- Control all finances and force you to account for what you spend?
- Let you and children go without basic needs like groceries, utilities, phone?
- Keep the phone locked up or take it with when they leave?
- Destroy personal property and sentimental items?
- Call you names and humiliate you either in private or in front of others?
- Treat you and any children like you are property?
- Tease, abuse, hurt or even kill your family pets?
- Keep you or your children from getting even basic medical care?
- Drinks or does drugs then gets angry or violent?
- Blame you for the anger and abuse, everything is your fault?
- Tell you that you're crazy or say the abuse never happened?
- Hit, punch, slap, kick, bite, burn, push, trip or use any other physical force on you or your children?
- Threaten to hurt you, your children, your family or friends?
- Use or threaten to use a weapon against you or others you care about?
- Force you to have sex with them, or others against your will?
- Have they knowingly given you a sexually transmitted desease?
- Threaten to kill themselves, or someone you care about if you leave them?
- Are you scared, often worried, can't relax or always on guard, being very careful of all you do or say?
~ What Do Many Abusers Have In Common ~
- Low Self-Esteem ~ insecure and unsure of themselves but usually present a different picture to others.
- Traditional Sex-Role Expectations ~ They will get angry that you can't live up to their unrealistic ideals.
- Jealousy & Control ~ Not out of caring, from insecurities and feeling they have the right to control you with force.
- Abusive Backgrounds ~ Many witnessed or were abused as children and feel it is acceptable behavior.
- Blames Others ~ They will usually blame everyone or everything but themselves.
- Denial ~ They do not want to accept responsibility for thier own choices and behavior.
- Abuse Alcohol Or Drugs ~ Which lowers inhibitions and may intensify abuse but, it is not the reason they abuse.
- Mental Or Emotional Problems ~ Some violent people may have untreated mental or emotional health problems.
~ Why Does Violence Continue ~
- Lack Of Alternatives ~ Victims of abuse may be dependent on the abuser and feel powerless to escape.
- Shame ~ Victims may feel helpless, worthless, guilty or ashamed and scared to trust those who could help.
- Isolation ~ No where to turn, abusers work hard to get their victims isolated without any support system.
- Hopes And Dreams ~ They enjoy some good times and may be in love, but without help abuse usually gets worst.
- Finances ~ Money is often a problem in leaving, especially when children are involved.
- Children ~ Thinking it is best to raise them with both parents and they are not effected by the abuse.
- Threats ~ The abuser may threaten to kidnap the children or get custody of them.
- Knowledge ~ May feel alone and not know there is help available to them.
- Promises ~ Abusers will promise everything, they know just what their victim wants to hear.
- Responsibility ~ Many victims feel it is their responsibility to change and help the abuser.
- Normal ~ Victims who witnessed abuse as a child know nothing else, to them it is normal.
- Low Self-Esteem ~ They are broken down and do not have the self-confidence for decision making.
- Religon ~ Many believe they have to stay under any circumstances because of religous beliefs.
- Protection ~ Afraid police or courts will not be able to give then the protection needed.
- Fear ~ They are scared of what their abuser would do to them or others they care about, if they left.
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