I'm a little worried about Clive. The giant squiddly fella has been relatively quiet recently...
He's been that way ever since the most recent hostage incident, which I detailed previously. Clive has been involved in a total of 17 hostage taking incidents now, and his criminal record would stretch to the moon and back if it were laid end to end. (And had been properly recorded...)
Considering the carnage Clive causes during his more active periods, you'd think I'd be glad of his little break. But the downside is that it means I don't have anything of any real interest to write about in here. (Ha, like I ever do...)
Clive's out at the moment, I think he's down the new pub, which happens to be called "The Squid and Thistle", and is actually the darkest corner of a nearby allotment; I eavesdropped on a conversation between Clive and his friends where they discussed whether watering old Norm's pumpkins with vodka would transform them into giant pumpkins in time for Halloween. Opinion was divided, but apparantly they're going to give it a try tonight, so I shall keep you informed of any developments in the next few weeks.
In the meantime, here's a few "interesting" facts about Clive the Squid that you may, or may not be aware of...
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Anyway, I must be off; by the sound of it, Clive's back from the "pub"... you know how most drunk people bring back traffic cones / bollards etc with them as a kind of magical souveneir of inebriation? Well, Clive goes one better than this, and brings back traffic wardens, before shutting them in the shed for the night.
It's a bugger to sort out; after all, it's not just like he can dump them in a skip the next day, or put them back before anyone notices... well, actually, he probably could... but I don't think the traffic wardens wouldn't like it much. And I wouldn't want to cause distress to such a nice bunch of people...
...saying that, I might leave him to it for now; it's not like it's that cold in the shed... and there'll be plenty of gnomes to keep them company... :D