The Old-Time Toilet

I give salute to the old outhouse
Stationed in the corner of the yard.
It was a real necessity in years past,
As times were difficult and very hard.
I believe the nights were colder back then,
Or at least that's the way it seemed.

And a wasp on a nest always in the corner
Which sometimes would make you scream.
Ah, the old Sears-Roebuck catalog
We used for toilet paper back then.

With your backside turned to the north,
you can bet we had cold, north wind.

We were lucky: we had two holes,
So two could enjoy the view as well,
And chickens pecking your bottom side,
Leaving more pain than you could tell.

There were always lots of clean corncobs
to use when paper was not around.
And the fear of a snake slithering in
would make you simply spellbound.
Well, times were hard in the Good Old Days
But somehow we made it through.
I'll never forget the old-time toilet.
So I give a salute to you.

Author Verna Ray Humphrey

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Ode To The Little Brown Shack

They past an ordinance in the town
Said we'd have to tear it down
That little brown shack out back so dear to me
Though the health department said
It's day was over and dead
It will stand forever in my memory

Don't let 'em tear that little brown building down
Don't let 'em tear that little brown building down
Don't let 'em tear that little brown building down
There's not another like it in the country or the town

It was not too long ago
That I went tripping through the snow
Out to that house behind my old hound dog
Where I'd sit me down to rest
Like a snow bird on her nest
And read the Sears and Roebuck catalog

I would hum a happy tune
Peeping through the quarter moon
Just like my Pappy's kin had done before
It was in that quiet pot
Daily cares could be forgot
And it gave the same relief to rich and poor

It was not a castle fair
I could build my future there
Build castles to the yellow jacket's drone
I could orbit round the sun
Fight with General Washington
Or be a king upon his own throne

It wasn't fancy built at all
Had newspapers on the wall
It was air conditioned in the wintertime
It was just a humble hut
But it's door was never shut
And a man could get inside without a dime
 
 

(Billy Ed Wheeler)
Copyright Quartet Music, Inc. & Bexhill Music
from the singing of Ed Britt