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After my thyroid repair I ballooned up. All of my clothes felt uncomfortable which made me growly. Taking a tip from my pal K’s father, I decided to try that high-protein diet…meat, meat. And more meat. I hate meat. He lost over 60 pounds and he is old so I figured if he could do it I could too. The diet also requires you to drink massive amounts of water. I wasn’t much of a liquid-ingesting person so I thought I better make that part work first. Otherwise you can damage some of your organs, or so the diet site warned. So I drank and drank and walked around all bloated and ZIP! The weight just fell off me. My clothes fit. Then even more weight disappeared and now I have to roll my pants at the waist to get them to kinda fit. Sometimes when I walk my pants fall down to my knees. So I didn’t even get to the meat part. I eat whatever I want to. Banana splits all last week. I am just a water glutton. Try it. It may work for you too.
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A month or so ago I went in for glasses. It was a strange adventure. The optometrist was great. I think men with snow-white hair and a neatly –trimmed bread are extremely handsome. He was quite personable too and gave me a URL for a free download for website designers. He said he was seeing more people coming in for glasses, perhaps it was due to so much time looking at computer screens, he conjectured.
All of that part was good.
Then came the weird part. There were assistants to help you select your glasses. There was also this wheeler-dealer-guy that was like a closer, like when you go to buy a car. He was oily. “I can do that frame for you for 20% off.” Then he’s on the phone talking to a fake person about how he wants a better deal for me.
I did end up with glasses out of the 1000s of frames ordered. They are okay.
Also I never realized how expensive glasses are to purchase. Mine were close to $500. How do poor people afford them? I hope there is some program available. And doesn’t one of those rotary-style clubs take in glasses to give out to the poor? I need to check into it.
Anyway, I never expected optometrists to have closers.
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Last night a large branch fell off my woodpecker tree. It has been barkless and rotted since I bought this property. I think the raccoons lived in that giant burl. So I called Streets & San. There returned my call in 10 minutes. Came out 15 minutes later and right now they are chainsawing it away. The chipper is creating a huge dustbowl. And since they are here they are going to lop a limb off that other bothersome tree with braches inching toward my neighbor’s garage. How’s that for service!
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This dirty girl likes dirty men to tell her dirty stories and she likes risqué’ feedback to her little website stories, but recently she has received a rash of email “thank-yous” from older people who read her road-trip stories. They say they can feel the fear, touch the landscape, and relive the pleasures of being on the road. It doesn’t get any better than that!
