https://www.angelfire.com/indie/bookreview/index.html
rabarrington@hotmail.com
This is the stripped-down nice-person version:
Saturday night I went to Duke O’Brien’s to see/hear Local h. It was just a tiny notation in Friday’s club listings, and when I called to see if tickets were still available, I was told that it was FREE! Wheehoo! They would go on at 11:30. I was so excited all day that I had to take a nap in the afternoon. I wore myself out!
Around 8 I was awaken by a phone call from Saren. “Check out the paper! A story about Local H!”
Sure enough. Local h had offered themselves up on eBay with a starting price of $500. A businessman from Marengo had won with a bid of $9,701. Then he selected Duke’s for the free show. It’s a tiny place that only holds 250 max. The “h” dudes were surprised that it had gone over a $1000.
So there I was watching the group having their music reverb through my body. It was perfect and unimaginably FREE! They sound so good, just like on their CDs. Some groups don’t. They are produced in the studio. These guys are real musicians. Get to know them. “Here Comes the Zoo” is a terrific CD.
Thank-you to Kevin Krak!
….
This is the real version: (the above is all true except for one word…”perfect”)
My friend is old. He doesn’t like Local h or any other loud rock & roll. He said he didn’t want to go. By noon, he said, “Okay, I will drop you off and pick you up. That way you will be safe.” At 9 p.m. he said, “I’ll take you.”
The club was jammin’ by the time we arrived. Lots of security and 3 guys checking IDs. I just walked in by one of the guys, an older man, caught my shoulder. “I’m with him I said and pointed to my old old pal.” “Oh okay.”
H was playing “Keep your girlfriends away from me…” I glimpsed them through the crowd and we got in line for drinks. I was in heaven.
Drinks in hand we moved over to a wall. There was a cubbyhole with an ATM machine and my pal snuck in…the reverb was keeping him. I stood next to him but outside the little partition. Bang! Bam! Scrunch! Pusssssssssssssssh… I was getting slammed from every direction. Still I was deadset on seeing and hearing Local h.
A vapid chick walked past yelling “THIS BAND SUCKS.” The bar is filled with peeps mostly under 25, closer to 21, 22. I think they are really 18-year-olds with fake IDs.
H does a cover of that Chicago song “25 or 6 to 4” and the people cheer loudly. Yikes! It is a freaking cover. The band is getting cheered on covers but not on their original stuff, which is awesome beyond belief, both lyrically AND musically.
Then some idiot walks over facing me, 2 feet away from me and whips out his phone. He is blocking my view. He is trying to make a call in a place so loud that you can’t hear the person next to you. If he took about 12 steps he would be outside and he could actually hear. I smile and motion with my hand, asking him to move over just a bit. He ignores me and I call him a dumb ass. He girlfriend sits down on a stray chair in front of me. He is still trying to make a call. I’m singing along to the music, swaying, digging the whole thing. I say to my friend. “What a clown!” Then three of the guy’s pals come up and now my friend and I are circled like pioneers stuck in a Conestoga wagon awaiting a scalping. I am getting pissed. They are so NOT interested in the music. LEAVE! Or at least MOVE!
So the tall guy with the phone bends over to a short guy and says something in his ear. The short guy looks and me and is saying stuff but haha! I can’t hear a damn thing, so you lose.
What a puss. The phone guy can’t even fight his own fight; he has little man do it. Pygmy keeps trying to provoke me. I just diss him. I want to shove my boot down his throat. Or I could call over that bouncer who stopped by three times to talk to me. Girlfriend gets up and walks away. The men follow.
A half hour more and I am done. My body is bruised from all of the bumping people.
On my way out, a guy coming in, asks a guy leaving, “Is that Local h?” The guy answers, “I dunno.” Arggggggggggggh! Get me out of here. A guy that is a human replica of one of those M&M’s is in front of me. He is blocking me. He is talking to each person on the way out. I can’t get by him. I push him. He is solid. Finally, the subzero air hits my face. Thank God I can go home.
Still I feel sorry for Local h. How would you feel if you got cheers for warmed-over covers and nothing for your original kick-ass tunes? I’d just think I was in the wrong place.
…
Now when my pal sees me he calls me: Rebecca Barrington~Barfighter.
confession: no matter what musicians I like for a while, I always go back to my main man. He is EVERYTHING. I LOVE BOB DYLAN!
Have A Rockin' Holiday!
I almost didn't get my mistletoe this year. Seems that those southern boys had a late start. Get out those .410s boys and shoot the plants out of the tops of those ancient oak trees. Get rid of the parasitic masses with poison berries. Get people to buy it and kiss under it.
How I adore Christmas with it's poison mistletoe, and poison poinsettias, and evergreens that make massive rashes up my arms when I decorate them. Whee hoo life is fun!
Song for the season...Baby It's Cold Outside by Petula Clark and Rod McKuen from the CD 1940s Christmas available at your local True Value Hardware store.
I really can't stay - But baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Oh, baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to that fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Oh beautiful, please don't hurry
Maybe just a half a drink more - Why don't you put some records on while I pour
The neighbours might think - Oh baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - There's no cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense of hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out Ahh, but it's cold outside
I simply must go - Oh baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no - You know it's cold outside
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Oh, your lips are delicious
My brother will be there at the door - Like waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt's mind is vicious - Oh, your lips look delicious
Well maybe just a cigarette more - Never such a blizzard before
I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'd freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb - You know it's up to your knees out there
You've really been grand - I thrill when you touch my hand
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Making my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay - Get over that old out
Ahh, but it's cold outside
