Things have only gotten worse since yesterday. I woke up this morning to the radio. Christina Aguilera was playing. "Come on over! Come on over, baby! Mmm... Come on over! Come on over, baby! Hey boy, don't you know I got something going on?" Shut up, Christina. That's the kind of stuff that MAKES you get out of bed even when you just want to sleep forever. So, I waddled into the living room (where the alarm clock is conveniently located) and turned it off, then got into the bathtub. I tried not to look at my body, even when I was washing it. I didn't even remember what Adam had asked me last night until I looked at myself. "I don't mean for you to take this the wrong way, but are you ever gonna look as good as you did two years ago?" No, I've decided I won't. So, I took my bath, then put on the new pants that my mom bought me last night and a shirt, then waddled into my bedroom and put on Celebrity Skin by Hole. I grabbed my socks and started to put them on along with my boots. "Reasons To Be Beautiful" came on and I totally belted out the words while I was doing my make up. Then, I came and checked my email, exasperated to find 6 messages. Six is the most I've had in a while. So, I read 'em. My old friend JD wrote me. Adam wrote me. I don't think anyone else wrote me though. I answered JD and Adam back, then checked out the page and everything. After that I left the www to go pick up my books and stuff and put them into my book bag, making my journey to the high school. I had another asthma attack just walking two doors down to the high school. I did my usual morning thing and went into the bathroom to regain my breath. Then I go into home ec. We don't do crap in there. EVER. Miss Veronica's little boy is in the room too, watching The Littlest Angel. I read the new Anne Rice novel, Merrick. I was a little disappointed in it. No incest or rapings this time. It was a good book anyway. I pretty much read my book the whole day and by 5th period I was done with it. Not bad, eh? I read to take my mind off of Adam last night and his rather harsh words. I know he didn't mean to hurt me last night. I come home in a pretty pissy mood. Adam and me start talking and I go off. Then we start to fight a little. I really didn't want to fight with him. I love him, and no matter what he says to me, I'll never love him any less. Adam is my everything. Enough of this mushy crap. Between my own perturbed feelings and the couples at school, I think I may be sick. Every time I walk down the hall I see these couples kissing and hugging and talking baby talk and it's utterly disgusting. I just want to wave my hands in the air and be like, "Could you please cease to do that for one moment? You're only making my day even worse." They are so sickening. And I still haven't really made any friends. Not even the geeky kids will be friends with me. They ignore me. Either I'm not geeky enough for them or I'm too geeky. The possibilities are endless and scary.
"Mother gripped onto the milkman's hand, and then she finally gave birth. Years go by, and still I don't know who shall inherit this earth." -The Eels.
"Make me over, I'm all I wanna be. A walking study in demonolgy. Yeah, so glad you make it. Hey, so glad you make it. It's only us left now. Oh, look at my face. My name is might have been. My name is never was. My name forgotten. Hey, so glad you could make it. Yeah, so glad you could make it. Now we've really made it. Yeah, it's only us left now. When I wake up, in my make up. Have you ever felt so used up as this? It's all so sugarless, hooker waitress, model actress, oh just go nameless." -Hole.