Whew. I never thought today was going to get over with. I just wanted to come home and go to bed. I woke up at 2 o'clock this morning and started watching the Exorcist 2, which was creepy, but never as creep as the first. It was a total waste of my beauty sleep though. So, when I woke up at 6:00 this morning, I rolled over and told my mom to get me up at 6:15 instead, which made me perpetually late. But more and more it seems like I'm only happy when I sleep. God, it's really getting that bad. So, I took my bath, put my clothes on, did my make up and hair, blah blah blah, all that BS. Then I left the house. No taunts were shouted at me this morning, though a little boy did open up his window on the bus and shout, "HI!" at me. I just smiled back. I'm not much for words. Especially around strange people, like 7 year olds hanging out of bus windows. There was some sort of prayer meeting in the auditorium today, so the bells were postponed from ringing until 7:55, which meant trouble if you got caught anywhere but the cafeteria or the auditorium. Believe you me, you never want to get caught by one of those damn hallway patrolwomen. Then there was this huge wait in the hall to go to class, because half of the teachers can't get their shit together and let us in. Fuckers. They want us to get an education, but they're not even there! What the fuck. I pretty much drifted through the whole day talking to people, which is incredibly unlike me. I said "Hi" to a lot of people from my classes in the hallway. Nothing good happened up until 6th period. I got an 84 on my Biology test, and a 100 on my English test. By 6th period, I was feeling pretty damned good. I was a little pissed off that my favorite blue marker had dried out, but I'll get over it. I will survive. Anyway, then it happened. Me and the cute boy made eye contact. I mean, full-on eye contact. We usually spend the entire 6th period looking at each other, and it was bound to happen someday, so the sooner the better. He was looking eye-level at me, and when I lifted my head up from my Biology notes, there he was, staring into my eyes. It was really awkward, but in a good kind of way. I tried to smile at him, but I just couldn't muster it up. I feel like he doesn't know I'm alive most of the time, even though he's staring right at me. He never speaks to me except for that small, tiny bit of verbal sound yesterday. I feel like such a loser for not talking back to him. Oh well. Maybe one of these days soon I'll have enough courage to say, "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?" or something equally lame like that. I was in a pretty good mood when I got home, and in an even better one when my mom told me my CDs that I had ordered from BMG had arrived. Unfortunately, BMG fucked my order up and instead of getting "Enema of the State" by Blink 182 and "No. 4" by Stone Temple Pilots, I got "My Soul, My Life" by some rapper dude named J. Shin, and "Bob Wills Essentral Country" by who else than Bob Wills. Oh well, you know? I still got my Godsmack CD, "Bloodflowers" by the Cure, "14:59" by Sugar Ray, "The Marshall Mathers LP" by Eminem, and "Make Yourself" by Incubus. Good enough until I can get this whole mess straightened out.
"How do you do it? Make me feel like I do. How do you do it? It's better than I ever knew." -Incubus.
"When I was just a little baby boy, my momma used to tell me these crazy things. She used to tell me that my daddy was an evil man, she used to tell me he hated me. But then I got a little bit older and I realized she was the crazy one. And there was nothing I could do or say to try to change her 'cause that's just the way she was." -Eminem.