+-better run-+

[9-6-00] September 6, 2000

It's a been a turbulent past day or so. I found out that the love of my life Jordan has been cheating on me, and one of my favorite cousins was beaten severely and almost bled to death last night. I won't even get into this whole messy thing with Jordan... it doesn't even really seem to matter any more. All I care about is seeing the people who did this to my cousin get sent to the Pen so their asses can be meat. When my aunt found my cousin he was choking to death on his blood. She rolled him over on his side so he wouldn't choke anymore, and a white car pulled up... of course, my aunt was shaken and she told the car to get her an ambulance. Whoever was in the car just laughed and said, "He don't need an ambulance." and drove off. That shit pisses me off. My cousin had a broken jaw in two places, his head was cracked open, and one of his ribs was jammed into his heart. He's very lucky. I think he must have a guardian angel. The whole town knows exactly who did this, and he's sitting in the county jail for tonight. I didn't know about my cousin's beating until I woke up. Mom said, "You're going to have a rough day at school," and I said, "Why?", thinking that someone in my family had died. She took a long pause. "Matt was almost beat to death last night. Aunt Lea found him choking on his blood in a ditch. Justin C******* beat him." This Justin guy is someone that everyone knows. Well-liked, but an asshole. I guess you could say the only people that like him aren't much better themselves. It turns out that he had help. The worst part of it all is what happened when I went to school. The whole thing was over this underage girl who accused my cousin of raping her. I saw one of her friend's at breakfast and she smiled at me and said, "I guess you've heard the news." I just looked at her and said, "Yeah, and if I hear anyone say anything about Matt, negative or otherwise, I'll beat the living shit out of them and send them to the hospital as well." Then I just started to shake and sob in the middle of the cafeteria with everyone watching me. It was pretty much downhill from there. I sit by Jason (Justin's brother)'s *underage* girlfriend in nearly every class, and everyone was talking about the whole ordeal all day long. Finally, my mom pulled me out of school at lunch and told me I wasn't going back. So, I sat around until about 3 when we went to go see Matt. He looks awful. His face looks like a beach ball. I want to kill who did this to him. I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life in a jail. It's a small price to pay for the savory taste of revenge.

"Watch all the blood as it drips from your veins... you coward! Godspeed! May your death come quickly!" -Kittie.

"Feelings, nothing more than feelings... trying to forget my feelings of hate. Imagine beating on your face, trying to forget my feelings of hate. Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it... I wish I'd never met you... You'll make me sick again. Feelings, oh, feelings, feelings of hate on my mind. Feelings like I never liked you, feelings like I want to kill you..." -The Offspring.

"Why did you leave me? Wish you were near... so, let me be your fears, wish it was over, drowning in tears... all of my life drained of emotions, I never cried... what am I now? A lack of devotion? I never tried to stay sane." -Drain STH.