Holy Batmania

1989.

Documentary, featuring footage of Yvonne Craig, Frank Gorshin, Eartha Kitt, Bruce Lee, Burgess Meredith, Lee Merriwether, Julie Newmar, Cesar Romero, Wil Shriner, Burt Ward, Adam West, Van Williams, and many many others.

Rating: 8/10, 2/10.

In my mind, there are certain requirements necessary to make a good documentary. Accuracy is one. Information is another. Good footage, interviews, and things of that sort are some more.

Holy Batmania has none of these. It purports to trace the development of Batman from comic books to television to movies, but never mentions radio, even when it’s talking about other superheroes like the Green Hornet and Superman. At one point it talks about Superman being a big success on the "fledgling media of television" (or something like that), and shows us clips of Superman, yes, on television, yes, but in color. I somehow doubt anyone would have called television a fledgling medium by the time it was in color. So I kind of doubt the accuracy of what it told me.

Not that it told me much. It was mostly like, "Yes, there’s a movie coming out now, but remember Adam West and Burt Ward? They were fun." Which, well, yes, but. I mean, it’s not like I was expecting much information from a documentary called Holy Batmania, but when the most I get is a long rundown of every single person who ever appeared on the show... well let’s just say I could use something more.

As for the quality of the footage and things like that, well, repeat after me: poor. Very very poor. I mean, they can’t even show still photographs without making people look like freakish monsters, and that’s even when they’re not in makeup and costume. And I don’t even mean people who are weird looking to start with, I mean people like Lesley Gore, who looked like some sort of reclining creature that would swim up out of the depths and attack your seafaring vessel while you slept. I do not know where that comparison came from, but it’s about right.

The weirdest thing to me, though, was that they repeatedly showed footage from television programs (here I’m talking about like, say, the Tonight Show, not Batman itself), only not the footage one would have actually seen had one watched that program. Rather, it’s home videos made by members of the viewing audience. Which, for one thing, I didn’t even think would have been allowed, and, for another thing, just looks awful. Not as awful as the sweaters Adam West apparently insists on wearing, but still. At one point we’re treated to a speech West made at some sort of convention, about twenty years after the end of the show. His belly’s even bigger at the convention than it was when he was on the show, and yet he’s wearing his costume. The camera is apparently being held by diseased monkeys from another planet. Adam West, judging from the kind of things he’s rambling on about, is apparently a diseased monkey from another planet. When this sequence started, I was expecting it to last, oh, a few minutes. But Matthew and I had the time to get bored of listening to him, have a long conversation about the pros and cons of having a job that only lasted three years but that meant you’d never have to do anything else but occasionally appear in public wearing a silly costume to live comfortably for the rest of your life, and eventually decide that it might be OK, but more likely would turn one into an alcoholic, and then look back at the TV and realize that Adam West was still talking and wouldn’t be done for a few more minutes yet.

Of course, you can tell that watching Holy Batmania was an entirely enjoyable experience. It was utterly worthless as far as spending time wisely is concerned, but it was fun. We got to see clips (nowhere near as many as I would have liked, but some) of the old show and even of the old movie; we got to hear an over-enthusiastic narrator trying to come up with new ways to say the same three or four phrases ("this person played this character," "veteran character actor," things like that); we got to hear about how Adam West’s Batman is essentially a human superhero, one who dons a mask out of necessity, to protect his safety, but also to overcome limitations, to do things that perhaps would have been impossible for Bruce Wayne. I’m glad I saw Holy Batmania. I can’t, in good conscience, recommend it, but I can say that I’m damn glad I saw it.