Ways To Torture Your 'Loved' Ones After You're Dead

• Run up your phone bill with lots of long-distance phone calls to places like Botswana and Slovakia. It doesn’t matter if you don’t speak the language or even known anyone; if you call enough times, you’ll eventually find someone who speaks your native tongue and you’ll slowly meet new friends as well. Hmmm, won’t your family be happy when they see their deceased relatives phone bill.
• Put your house up for sale on Ebay, and then bid on it anonymously a few zeros (like $500,000) over its actual worth. Just in case, there’s someone out there who would buy your house for that price, it would be best to have your house condemned. It won’t be that hard, just use your imagination.
• Needlessly run up your credit card bills with non-refundable crap that people should be paying you to take off their hands.
• Withdraw all cash from you bank account(s). This one is best used along with #3. After all your credit cards have been denied you know your family will have problems. The best bet to paying for those nasty phone bills is through your bank account. Imagine Aunt Sidney’s surprise when she finds out your bank account is completely empty.
• Rig up an old-fashioned treasure hunt. After #4, the job still isn’t over yet. Which would you find more annoying; just not having $10,000 or not having any idea where it is? So don’t spend the money you have withdrawn, just hide it really well so people can’t find it. Maybe even leave a note with some clues to where the money ‘is.’
• Leave a BIG surprise at the funeral home. Imagine walking into a funeral home for a deceased relative only to find that very relative standing there, just inside the front door. A scary concept isn’t it? Not really, just nasty. On your last-will-and-testament, mention that you want to be taxidermy and then bequeath yourself to the relative that hates you the most and you hate that much more.

Home