BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[…to the President of the Coalition of Affiliated Leagues.]

BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

[Angelina Bishop looks, for a word, frazzled. Her hair, normally hanging straight down her back, is slightly frayed, and her eyebrows are furrowed together. She’s sitting at a desk that was made available for her at the OLW Arena, paper work in front of her.]

[But she’s not working. With a gold pen in her right hand, she just stares at the paper in front of her.]

[The silence is interrupted by a knock at the door.]

Bishop: I’m busy – please come back later.

[Another brief moment of silence.]

Voice: Ms. Bishop, it’s Heidi… can I come in?

Bishop [with a sigh]: Heidi, I really need some peace and quiet for now. Would you guard the door for me and make sure no one else knocks? And I mean no one… I don’t want to see Kurt Richards, I don’t want to see Ultra Raptor, I certainly don’t want to see Kai Scott…

Heidi: What if I told you, that what I have to say could solve your Kai Scott related problems?

Bishop: …come on in.

[The door swings open. Heidi’s appearance on screen is greeted by boos and chants of “you sold out” from the OLW crowd.]

Heidi: To get right to the point, I’ve figured out exactly why it is that Kai Scott isn’t currently in the employment of any CAL federation, yet he manages to have backstage and ringside passes no matter what federation, no matter what arena, no matter where, when or how.

Bishop: Yes…

Heidi: We searched through all the files of OLW employees. Wrestler, technician, ring crew, advertising consultant, referee, concession stand manager, but there weren’t any matches. We did the same for CRW. We even went through all the old feds that closed. BWWa, CCW, NPW, CSWA, all of them. But we found nothing. And you know why?

Bishop: Why?

Heidi: Because we were barking up the wrong tree. You see, Kai Scott isn’t in the employment of Old Line Wrestling…

[And with this, Heidi tosses a thick document onto Bishop’s desk.]

Heidi: He owns it.

[Angelina Bishop leafs through the document, then looks up – and smiles.]

Bishop: So he does… I have to give him credit, I wouldn’t have thought he’d be able to obtain one federation, let alone three. Kai’s never been into big money like Top Dollar, Avarice and Cole Christenson.

Heidi: Well, he paid a grand total of 200K to obtain the rights to the rosters of BWWa, MSWA and TIW. Apparently he was given the IWA for free by Jeffy Andrews, as if you needed another reason to hate him. And he got that 200K from the very lucrative NPW contract you offered him to help him kill NPW – which continued to pay him out of Sam Carnage’s pocket after NPW wasn’t putting on shows anymore. Isn’t that just delightful irony?

[Angelina Bishop almost laughs. She disguises it as a cough.]

Bishop: Sam Carnage, stabbing me from Hell’s heart by unleashing Kai Scott on the CAL. Surreal.

Heidi: I don’t really think Carnage actually had anything to do with it. I don’t think Jeffy Andrews did either.

Bishop: Of course Andrews didn’t – he isn’t smart enough. And Carnage is too virtuous, he’s more likely to try and build an entire federation and re-win the CAL in a completely above the table, by the books way. But it is rather ironic, all things considered.

Heidi: Yeah. Of course, this also means that Kai IS under your authority. I’m sure you’ll be good at deciding what to do from there…

Bishop: Indeed. Heidi, please send me a pair of security officers, as I no longer have the Kurosawa sisters at my disposal. Then, please inform Ultra Raptor and the others loyal to my cause of this, and have them waiting for Mr. Scott when he arrives.

Heidi: Will do.

[And with that, Heidi turns and departs the office, leaving Angelina Bishop to turn back to her desk.]

[Crisis on Outrage.]

# I’m afraid of nothin #
# It’s the only way to be #
# Welcome to the rubber room #
# It was made for you and me #
# Uh huh #

[As “Master of Light” by Monster Magnet blasts out, the shot changes to clips of wrestling.]

# Want to see how a snake can fly? #
# I believe that you can’t say no #
# Just get ready for the world outside #
# It’s insane, it’s insane, it’s insane #

[Freddy Phoenix. Cole Christenson. Ultra Raptor. TJ Killingbeck.]

# Keep your head lookin up to the sky #
# See the blood boiling down below #
# You’ll believe that a snake can fly #
# I believe that you can’t say no #

[Heidi. Top Dollar. Avarice. Daemon Curtis.]

# I can shake now and I can show #
# I can go where no one else goes #
# Check your head now, and hold on tight #
# It’s surfin time with the Master of the Light #

[Kid X-Latch. SS Syndicate. Team SG. Minority Uprising.]

# Life’s a big explosion #
# With its candy and its pills #
# And I can see why some of you #
# Love your demons when you’re ill #

[Rick Ravage. Greg Stone. Charles Scott. Jack Cassidy.]

# Let me smooth along your heart now #
# Let me reach inside your head #
# Life’s a big explosion #
# Ain’t it cool? #

[Adam Delicious. Danny Vicious. The Regulators. NGN. Minority Uprising. Wilde Tanke. Sammy Powers. Alternative 2.0 because they’re only inactive, not off the roster. And anyone who I missed.]

# I can shake now and I can show #
# I can go where no one else goes #
# Check your head now, and hold on tight #
# It’s surfin time with the Master of the Light #

[Wrestlers doing stuff…]

# I’m Jesus! I’m Satan! #
# I’m anything you want me to be! #
# You’re broken! You’re frozen #
# You’re better off comin with me! #

[Fade to the show.]