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[OLW's ring announcer, Tracie Ferraro, is a beauty by any standards, so long as you're male and you like college athlete type blondes. She's wearing a black miniskirt and heels, and a red top of some sort with yellow trim. The OLW colors... and yeah, Tracie can make red and yellow and black look good.] # A million miles an hour, with an overloaded mind # Tracie Ferraro: The following contest is set for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit! Introducing first, from A Wonderful Place… weighing in at 238 lbs, he is THE BLAAAAACK… WWWOOOONNNNDDDEEERRR!!! # It’s a lonely ride # [Black Wonder comes running out of the back at full speed. Ducking into a crouch and spreading his arms to the sides, he spins around rapidly before dropping to one knee and throwing his arms up in the air.] RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! [It’s not the greatest reaction ever, but while someone like Black Wonder isn’t anyone to seriously get behind, it’s easy to like him. His theme song, since it wasn't previously mentioned, is "Turbo Effalunt" by Orange Goblin.] # Flying on through the mountains like a rocket into my brain # [BW rolls into the ring and bounces on the ropes.] # It’s a lonely ride # [Fade music.] Ferraro: And the opponent! BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Ferraro: Hailing from Austin, Texas, and weighing in at 230 lbs. He is… SHAWN! SPAAAAAAARRKKKSSS! # Goodbye, the future’s all sold out # [Shawn Sparks makes his way out of the back to the sounds of “Is Anybody Home?” by Our Lady Peace.] Conarri: Shawn Sparks is making his OLW in-ring debut, of course. We’ve seen Black Wonder once before, when he teamed with SURGE “The Rush” against NGN. Stanton: Right. He submitted to LeRoux’s kimura, if I recall. Conarri: Yes. But, Sparks… well, his OLW debut consisted of a promo, and we’ll take you back to last Outrage – the one that never aired.
Styles: …and that was? Conarri: Ladies and gentlemen… Shawn Sparks! [Sparks has finished his entrance while the clip played. He faces off against The Black Wonder.] DING! DING! DING! Conarri: And Sparks shoots across the ring to drop Black Wonder to the mat with a forearm! [As BW tries to gather his pins, Sparks lays a couple arrogant kicks into the back of his head. BW uses the corner ropes to pull himself up, and when he does Sparks is there to force him back into the corner. Referee Sean O’Meara gets between the two, and Sparks sneaks an eye rake over the ref’s back, sending BW to the mat again, grabbing at his face.] Stanton: Sparks, you know, he’s another one of those kids that believes he and only he is the future of the business. And he really likes to rub his “greatness” into everyone’s face. Expect a lot of showboating from him. [Sparks picks BW up, whips him off the ropes, and catches him with a back drop on the rebound. An arrogant cover…] …ONE! ……Kickout! Conarri: Sparks doesn’t even bother hooking the leg, and BW escapes. Sparks, sending BW for the ride… belly to belly suplex! Styles: You know, he could make it look like he cares about the match. Even those NPW guys who have to fight Galahad, look like they care. Besides, Black Wonder’s pants are awesome. I want a pair of those. [Black Wonder’s pants are pretty much the same pattern as you’d find on a collar shirt from Hot Topic. You know, with skulls and flames and fake celtic and tribal patterns. Only they’re pants.] Stanton: Sparks, one foot on the chest of BW for the cover. …ONE! ……Kickout! Conarri: Again, Sparks putting no effort into this match. [Sparks picks BW up yet again. Slapping him across the face twice, Sparks drops his young opponent on his head with a hard DDT.] Stanton: Some higher impact offense from Shawn Sparks, and now a cover! ONE…! …TWO…! ……Kickout! [Sparks shows some irritation this time around. He shouts at Sean O’Meara, who simply tells him to pay attention to the match.] Conarri: Sparks bringing Wonder to his feet, I think he’s planning to end this one now. Irish whip, lining up the superkick… Stanton: Black Wonder ducks! [BW, coming to life finally, ducks the superkick. Rebounding, he leaps, spins sideways and plants a forearm into the jaw of Shawn Sparks. Sparks goes sprawling head over heels.] Styles: BLACK POWER! Conarri: Kip up by Wonder! Wonder on the move, Sparks up, inside leg lariat by the Wonder! Wonder to the top rope! Stanton: YES! Conarri: Wonder Spinny Dive Thing! Wonder with the corkscrew moonsault, connects dead on! [BW does the same spinning pose he did at the top of the ramp.] RRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! [Sparks wobbles to his feet. BW boots him.] Conarri: BW setting up for the win here… crucifix position! Stanton: Blackness Wonder Bomber! [The crucifix powerbomb connects beautifully with Shawn Sparks. Wonder drops into the cover, hooking the leg.] …ONE
……TWO!
………THREE!!!
DING! DING! DING! Conarri: And… in something of an upset, OLW’s talent enhancement wins our opening match! Styles: An upset? Did you actually listen to Sparks talk? I think BW went easy on him. Stanton: Well, that was our opener. [And a quick cut backstage.] [The scene opens up backstage at the 1st Mariner Arena; there is a plain white walled hallway with the logo for the MISL’s Baltimore Blast on the side. Down the end of the hallway are a set of large double steel doors that swing open as a figure in a black leather duster and a black Stetson hat, in his right hand is a black Addidas gear bag. As the figure gets closer to the screen it is revealed to be OLW newcomer, “the outlaw” Jesse James.] [Before Jesse James can walk out of the camera’s eye, the large and jovial figure of OLW back stage interviewer Duane “Double-Decker” Eckelbury fills the screen. Duane, as always has a wide grin on his face, but he still looks extremely uncomfortable in the suit he is wearing for OLW’s first pay per view event.] Eckelbury: Jesse James mind if I have a few words with you for the television audience. James [shrugs]: Whatever. Eckelbury: You have your OLW debut tonight but don’t know which member of the Red Axis your going to face. That sure is a tough way to go into your first match. Any thoughts? James [rubbing his chin, grinning]: I don’t really give a damn which one of them I face tonight it could be Olan, Svetlana, Jack Cross, Boris & Natasha or Mikhail Gorbachev and that yeast infection on his head. [This elicits some laughter from the crowd watching on the Line One Jumbo Tron screen.] James: As I told the whole roster at Outrage… get ready for the ride of a lifetime, because the Hell-billy Express has rolled into Maryland. I don’t give a flying fuck which one of those commie bastards I face. If it’s Olan I’ll rip that stupid mask off his face and shove it down his damn throat. If it’s Svetlana I’ll grab that pretty little girl by her ponytail, give her a big fat kiss on the lips then give her the Tennessee Slam. Eckelbury: What about the off chance that it’s Jack Cross? James [grinning]: Well hell what better way to make my debut then by defeating a former World Champion. But once again it don’t matter who I face, because whoever it is their going down. Because I am the hell raisin’… ass whoopin… show stealing… hell-billy outlaw and unless you want to be left on the ground eating dust… you better hitch a ride on the hell-billy Express, because It ain’t stopping’ until It reaches gold. [Jesse James spit’s a wad of phlegm onto the ground, smirks and then walks out of the view of the camera.] Eckelbury: There you have it, “the outlaw” Jesse James making his in ring debut tonight… but already talking like he’s been here for years. [fade out] |
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