Fools! It is I, The Glove. I have taken over the so-called "Pit of Apophis."

News of my recent imprisonment has been greatly exaggerated. Those fools think that their precious secret agents can stop the Dictatorship of Malevolence! They have not even begun to realize the insanely evil plot I am currently hatching! Bwahahahahahahahaha!

Beware inter-web-net dwellers! For my soft leather glove hides a fist made of iron! And beneath that fist of iron lies a fist of very hard flesh! The world shall soon feel all of the layers of my evil! Bwahahaha.

Even now, my legion of rogue ex-muslim followers and loyal following of Live-Action Role-Players carry out my nefarious plan. You have not even experienced the pain that my Yahoo Fan Club members are capable of perpetrating upon your helpless, pale, fleshy bodies! Bwahahaha!

Soon the world shall be engulfed by an evil not seen since Tanya Harding hired someone to hit Nancy Kerrigan about the knee caps, or perhaps since that one movie where Jet Li played both an evil and a good character and at one point fought himself! Yes, such an evil is immense, indeed! And you shall soon experience it, fools of the world! Bwahahaha!

But not yet, fools, for my legions of pasty individuals and other denizens of evilness have not yet completed their work. Soon, though, my zombie legions shall cover the earth! And there is nothing you can do to stop me! So rest well until then, fools, for after that time you will no longer be able to sleep! For my minions will be attacking you! Because I am evil and you are not! Therefore my minions must attack you!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!