Couple(s): C/L; Clex; C/C; ChLex (It's a veritable lovefest, but the right couples get together at the end.)

Rating: PG-13, just for safety's sake

Feedback: Flames will be used to roast hotdogs. Even aspiring writers have to eat.

Email: geek1286@aol.com *or* queenw2@yahoo.com; I check both regularly

Disclaimer: Everything but the plot belongs to someone other than me

Spoilers for: references to 'Leech' and 'Hug'

Author's Notes: I'm not satisfied with this at all; it was going fine until I decided to change the ending. To make up for the unbelievability of it all -- Lex making a bet to avoid a business deal isn't all that realistic -- I'm marketing this as a bit of a parody.

Maelstrom

******

Lex threw down his pen with an exasperated sigh as his work was interrupted. "What is it?" he snapped at his butler.

The man ignored his boss's apparent annoyance, and said, in his haughty British accent, "there is a Victoria Hardwick here to see you, sir. Shall I send her in?"

*The She-Devil herself.* Rolling his eyes, Lex blew a stream of air through his lips in aggravation. "I suppose you should." To himself he added sarcastically, "The last thing I want to do is piss off Sir Harry's precious daughter." They got along well enough, but he hated being interrupted, and after what the Hardwick's did to Cadmus Labs...

"Lex, darling, how marvelous to see you again!" Victoria cooed a moment later, not believing a word she said, as she slithered into his office. "Come here."

He stood and allowed himself to be kissed once on each cheek. She seemed to want more, but she backed off before he could push her away. "Victoria. How utterly loathsome of you to stop by," he muttered, falling back into his chair. She pouted, striking a faux-alluring pose in her clingy, low-cut red dress.

"Is that any way to greet an old friend?" She perched primly on the edge of a leather armchair, crossing her ankles and smiling cordially.

Rolling his bright blue eyes again, the man barely refrained from throwing the remainder of his brandy across her front. "We've never been friends, Victoria, and you know it." He motioned to her with the blunt end of his expensive writing implement. "You've never been anything but --how should I phrase this?-- an inconvenient fly buzzing around my head. Give my *fondest* regards to Sir Harry." The infamous smirk formed on his lips as he uttered the name.

She visibly bristled at his words, but the fake smile never left her face. Lex began to wonder if she'd had her visage surgically altered to look sincere, even when she wasn't. "Oh, Lex. Don't you even want to hear Daddy's latest business proposal?"

The pen clattered to the desk top for the second time that afternoon. He folded his hands over his monstrous date book, pasting an insincere smile of his own across his mouth. "Do you promise to leave me alone after you've shared his newest deal?"

She leaned nearer and ran a perfectly-formed, blood red nail over the lapels of his jacket. "Do I *ever* leave you alone?"

"Unfortunately, no," he shot back, then, picking up her thumb between his own thumb and forefinger, he removed the offending hand from his chest. "Just tell me what Sir Harry has to say this time."

Victoria spent the next ten minutes outlining her father's plans, but Lex instantly tuned out her ramblings; he knew he was going to reject anything the Hardwicks had to offer. As she gesticulated, he let his mind wander to a certain, young farmboy.

He needed Clark; loved him, even, as much as Lex knew what that word meant. But, until he knew if Clark loved him back, and until Clark became legal, the pair couldn't be together. *I do want to make you happy, though, Clark Kent,* Lex thought forlornly, nodding at his female companion; he knew she would suspect that he wasn't paying attention if he didn't give some sign of acknowledgement.

Something came to Lex so suddenly that he smacked the desk with his fist. Victoria jumped in surprise.

"What is it, Lex?" She gasped, not bothering to hide her alarm.

A slow grin spread on his face. "I have an idea."

******

Lex crossed his legs as he settled into one of the comfortable, overstuffed blue chairs near the back of the Beanery. Sipping his mug of cappuccino, he mentally reviewed his little bet with Victoria: if he could get Clark and Lana together --with Whitney fully out of the picture-- in two weeks time, Victoria would have to leave him alone. If he failed, he would agree to Sir Harry's plan, and he would have to survive several nights in bed with Victoria herself.

He nonchalantly glanced behind him, investigating. The blond quarterback was hunched over a textbook, frowning. Lana and Clark were nowhere to be found. *No news can be good news, I suppose,* Lex decided.

"Lex, hi. Can I join you?" a voice said quickly, breaking into his thoughts.

*Well, speak of the Devil.* The man motioned to the chair next to the one upon which he was perched. "Sure, Clark, go ahead." He found himself studying his young friend, unsure for what, exactly, he was looking. "Where's Lana? The quarterback's here, you're here, so where is she?" He rested his elbows on the chair arms, steepling his fingers expectantly.

As the boy shrugged, his cheeks reddened. "I, um, have no idea."

The billionaire's son felt a soft smile forming at the corners of his mouth; Clark was so adorable and vulnerable at times. "Why are you blushing?"

"No reason," was the more assertive reply.

The bell above the door *dinged* causing both their heads to snap around. The pair was hoping Lana was the entering person. To Lex's disappointment and Clark's delight --the former had wanted to begin his match-making attempts (despite being driven absolutely nuts by the girl), though the latter was always glad to see the newest customer-- Chloe Sullivan bounced over, quadruple espresso already in hand.

"Hey, Clark." She flopped onto a third blue chair. After a moment, she noticed Lex. "Lex, hi."

The latter waved. "Miss Sullivan." He smirked when she made a face at him.

"Hi, Chloe," Clark chimed in, the grin on his face making Lex think.

*He can't possibly have feelings for her. Well, hypothetically, he 'could'*; *she 'is' extremely cute, and damn witty, and amazingly intelligent, and bold, and snarky as all hell. But he doesn't have a thing for her; he's just happy to see one of his best friends.* As he observed the teens for a moment, Lex added, *I hope.*

******

"Why are you doing this, anyway, Lex?" Victoria asked, as he tried in vain to get some more work finished a few days later.

With a stifled sigh, Lex switched the portable phone to his other ear. "Why am I doing what?"

Her twinkly, pretentious laugh traveled through the wires, making him grit his teeth. She was grating on his nerves. "Why are you trying so hard to get that farmboy together with that girl?"

His fist hit the desk top angrily. *How dare she insult Clark like that.* "Look, Victoria, just because Clark's not as rich as you, that doesn't mean you have to act like such a Grade-A witch whenever you mention him."

He could sense that she was pouting. "I meant nothing of the sort. You don't need to get so defensive. It almost sounds like you--" She trailed off. After a second of silence, she shrieked. "You have feelings for him! You --a Luthor-- have feelings for an underage farm boy!" She sounded even more smug than usual.

That was the last straw. Lex slammed the receiver back on its base then got up. *Beanery, here I come.*

******

Lana was leaning across a table, talking softly with Whitney, when Lex arrived. His heart sank, but rose again when he realized the couple was fighting. Whitney's jaw was set, his eyes flashing as he muttered to his girlfriend. She was glaring at him, her fists clenched in her lap.

"You and Kent can just be happy, for all I care!" the jock shouted finally, before storming out. When he caught Lex staring at him from the doorway, he shoved him away.

Smirking, Lex sauntered toward the table where Lana held her head in her hands. Her slender body shook, leading Lex to believe that she was crying. "Hi, Miss Lang. Can I sit down?" he asked as gently as he could, already taking a seat across from her. "What's going on?"

She glanced up, dark eyes wide, face streaked with tears. "I did it; I officially broke up with Whitney."

Lex knew from talking to Clark that the football star and the head cheerleader terminated their relationship several times a month; thus he didn't put much stock in what she told him. "What happened?"

Lana wiped her eyes, tucking a strand of long, shiny, black hair behind one ear. "Do you promise not to tell anyone?" When he nodded, she continued. "I'm in love with Clark. I realized that he really cares about me, more than Whitney ever has. Clark's an amazing guy, and it took me this long to notice."

Somehow, the man knew there had to be a catch; there was no way winning the bet would be so easy. "Well, have you told him?"

She shook her head sharply, her hair slapping against her back. "I can't." Anticipating his question, she motioned to a couple entering the coffee house: Clark and Chloe, his arm laced around her waist. "I have a feeling those two aren't simply best friends anymore."

*There's my catch.* Lex gaped at the pair as they sat at a secluded booth, giggling. "Maybe I should go talk to them." As he stood, fully intending to have a word with his friend, Lana's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

"Don't, Lex, please. I don't want to ruin his happiness; if he's content with her, then I'm okay." Her eyes begged him to sit back down, but he ignored her pleas.

"No you're not; you're miserable." *I'm miserable now, too* In two strides, he had maneuvered across the room. *I'm certainly not okay with this arrangement.* He remained by the happy couple's table, saying nothing, waiting to be noticed.

It took Clark three minutes to stop making gooey-eyes at Chloe and realize that they had company. "Lex!" he said cheerfully, laughter still in his voice. "How's it going?"

He forced himself to smile. "Hi, Clark." Pause. Lex's bright eyes shifted from the glowing blue pair to the curious green one. "Hello, Miss Sullivan. Can I talk to you privately, Clark?"

The boy nodded, confused, then got up. "Sure. Be back in second, Clo." He followed Lex outside and waited for the conversation to be initiated.

Lex asked him, point blank, "What do you think you're doing?"

The frown on his friend's face would have been endearing, if Lex weren't so annoyed. "What?"

Throwing up his hands in disgust, he attempted to stay calm. "As soon as Lana falls insanely in love with you --enough to leave Whitney forever-- you traipse in, canoodling with you best friend. What's going on, Clark?"

Clark backed against the wall, taken aback by the poorly-shielded anger in the man's voice. "I got tired of waiting for Lana. Chloe came by to hang out yesterday, told me she had feelings for me, and things went from there."

Lex sighed in resignation. "I'm sorry I snapped at you; it's only that I'd hate for you to be with the wrong girl, merely because the one that's perfect for you took a while to open her eyes. Think about it." He turned and started toward his Jaguar, leaving a pensive Clark behind him.

******

The sight of Lex leaning against a blue Ferrari, surveying the throng of students, piqued Chloe's curiosity. Though the reporter in her wanted to discover why the billionaire's son was parked in Smallville High's parking lot, she didn't feel like talking to him; she was too tired and hungry.

She quickened her pace so she could reach the bus before he noticed her. But, of course, he saw her and called out: "Chloe, wait a second."

Reluctantly, she plodded toward the convertible. "What do you want, Mister Luthor?"

He shrugged, smirking at her. "That's no way to greet me, Miss Sullivan."

Rolling her eyes, she made an exasperated noise. "We aren't friends, I'm not one of your myriad mistresses, I don't work for you, we aren't related; thus, I can greet you however the heck I feel like greeting you. Now, *what* do you want?"

His bald head tilted as he opened the passenger side door. "My, we're snarky today. Is it wrong to want to get to know the daughter of my best employee?"

Snorting, she relented, sliding inside the sportscar. He did the same. "Oh, please. Just so you know: the only reason why I'm letting you take me home is because--" He cut her off by placing a finger on her lips.

"Who says I'm taking you home?" he whispered, as he started the car. When her eyes grew wide, he let himself chuckle. "I'm not going to seduce you, if that's what you're thinking."

Chloe shot him a sideways glance, her eyebrow cocked. "Believe me, Lex: the last thing I want is to sleep with you. I was actually thinking you were going to kidnap me and chop me into little pieces before throwing me in a Dumpster; though I don't know why you'd capture me, instead of Clark. Not that you'd want to chop him into pieces."

The billionaire's son frowned. "What do you mean by that?" He made a particularly tight turn, causing her to fall against him.

"I've seen the way you gaze at him," she announced nonchalantly, straightening quickly. "I've seen the way *he* gazes at you. Don't think his and my...*relationship* is anything more than two friends getting together out of loneliness."

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "I saw the way he was looking at you the other day. I, personally, think he cares about you more than you say."

The blonde girl slumped against the window, suddenly appearing vulnerable --- a sight that took Lex by surprise; he'd never seen her so down before. "He probably doesn't realize how much he really loves you. Before you insist that I'm making this up, just let me finish. He's been obsessed with you since he saved your life. I mean truly *obsessed*; he talks about you constantly, like a school girl with a crush. He has you on a pedestal."

The man was momentarily rendered speechless. He had never imagined his feelings would be returned. "Wow. I had no idea," he said softly, staring straight ahead as he reached her street.

"You've changed him, Lex. Since he saved you, he hasn't been the same Clark I fell in love with years ago," she whispered, her voice filled with sadness and regret. "But you *have* made him forget about Lana; he doesn't drool over her anymore, he's refocused his telescope on the sky. At least he's finally paying more attention to me now."

"That's good, isn't it?" he wondered, wanting to say something, but unsure of exactly what.

She shrugged, becoming her usual cheerful self again, though Lex had no idea what caused the transition. "I guess. He's letting me play Warm Body for a while, which, even though it's not what I really want with him, is better that nothing." Her face fell momentarily. "I'm conforming, aren't I?"

The man pulled into the Sullivans' driveway and cut the engine. "You couldn't conform even if you donned a cheerleading uniform and climbed to the top of a human pyramid." After a pause, he whispered, "you're really beautiful."

Chloe smacked his arm. "You're impossible!" she announced, though her tone implied that she was teasing. "You're not a bad guy, Lex. I'm not going to start up a Lex Luthor Fan Club, or anything, but I don't dislike you. If you and Clark ever get together, I won't hate you. This whole 'dating my best friend' thing is sort of weird, anyway."

He chuckled. "Thank you for the compliment, as slight as it was. Are you going to stay with Clark?"

"I don't know. Thanks for the ride." Her hand was on the door handle, but she made no move to leave.

"Chloe," he said gently, turning her face so he could look into her eyes, "I'm going to kiss you."

The girl snorted. "Like heck you are." She shifted in the seat.

In an instant, his lips were covering hers in a quick, chaste kiss. "There. That wasn't so bad was it?" he teased, pulling back.

"Why'd you do that?" she asked casually, not letting on whether or not she liked it.

"It's complicated."

She was intrigued. "Go on."

Lex then proceeded to describe his bet with Victoria, leaving out the part about having to sleep with her if he lost. "It's stupid, I know, and you probably think I'm a pig. If I hadn't made this bet, though --never mind."

She grinned. "I don't think you're a pig. I had no idea you were the scheming type; I almost really like you now." After a beat, she added, "How is this bet going to convince Clark to be with you?"

"It's not supposed to do that; the idea *was* to make him happy. I thought that Lana would do the trick, but, apparently, he got tired of waiting for her to come to her senses. I've still lost, though. After all, I only have about a week left to get them together." He sighed, rubbing his face. "At first I thought it would be kind of fun to scheme --we Luthors have a sick sense of humor-- but it's painful to watch him with anyone other than me. No offense."

His only response was another shrug. "In case you're wondering, I kissed you in attempt to get you away from Clark." At her confused expression, he continued. "The kiss was supposed to entice you enough that you'd lust after me. Of course, now that I've told you about the bet, and I realize that you would never be attracted to me --you're too smart for that-- the point of the kiss was rendered moot."

Chloe gave him an indecipherable look. "It was the first kiss I can actually remember having," she admitted nonchalantly.

The man pause, taken aback. He hadn't thought about it before, but he'd assumed she'd had male admirers in the past. There was something irresistible about the blonde girl who sat next to him with a slight smile on her lips. "Wow," he whispered, for the second time since they got in the car. "Why don't you remember your first kiss?"

She made a noise that was a cross between a stifled sneeze and an embarrassed chuckle. "Remember Kyle Tippet? He convinced me to kiss Clark, or so Clark claims."

Lex chuckled politely, his mind suddenly reeling. He began to feel conflicted for no explicable reason: part of him wanted to race to the Kent farm and kiss Clark passionately, the other part of him wanted to take Chloe in his arms and just hold her. "Chloe, you're going to be pissed at me." *Best to be honest, Luthor.*

She raised her eyebrow again. "Did you decide to sell the plant and buy a farm? If so, I couldn't really care less."

The absurdity of her statement was so...*refreshing* that Lex had to laugh. "Nothing like that. I don't know how important this bet is anymore; I kissed you for no reason a few minutes ago and-" She interrupted him.

"Yeah, I know. I was there," she said with a grin.

He continued without acknowledging her remark. "-and I want to do it again. In the half an hour we've been talking today, you've made me realize what I'm missing; as trite as that sounds. I wanted Clark because he's an enigma, because he sees me like I really am, because --let's face it-- he looks up to me, and I've never had that before. All those things-" He spread his hands. "-aren't love; I was *infatuated* with him. I'm not implying I necessarily want to get serious with you, but you've opened my eyes."

When his soliloquy was finished, she gaped at him, speechless for the first time. Instead of saying anything, she found herself kissing him gently.

"Lex," she whispered when she pulled back a few moments later, "what the heck just happened? You're going to have to loan me the Cliffs' Notes because I'm lost."

Lex rested his forehead against hers, his icy blue eyes betraying the vulnerability he tried so intensely to hide. "I don't know. I'm sorry for dragging you into my little mess, but I don't know what I want anymore. I've always been intrigued by you, you know; Gabe Sullivan's intrepid daughter. I've discovered myself studying you at parties in the past --especially at Lana's Sweet Sixteen."

She held up a hand, halting him. "You don't mean any of this; the kiss kind of threw me off, too."

Grabbing her hands, he pleaded. "Listen to me! I've been infatuated with Clark since he saved my life, but I think I've had a crush --however small-- on you since we met. Blame my confusion on the kiss or the fact that I've never loved anyone romantically before; I don't care what you say. Just know that, while I think Clark is a great guy, I see him as more of a surrogate little brother."

She sighed in exasperation. "Half an hour ago you were going on and on about how much you wanted him!"

"Half an hour ago I hadn't kissed you," the man replied softly, looking more unconfident than she'd ever thought he could be.

"Goodnight, Lex," she said firmly, getting out and slamming the door.

Once she was gone, he repeatedly banged his head against the steering wheel.

******

The weekly produce delivery; Lex wasn't sure he could handle being in the same room with Clark. He assumed seeing the boy would add to the maelstrom of confusion he was already experiencing.

"What did you say to Chloe yesterday?" the familiar voice asked harshly, as its owner stormed into Lex's office. "She broke up with me, claiming that you convinced her that we were wrong for each other! Friends don't backstab friends, Lex!"

Lex stared at his young friend for a full three minutes. He felt absolutely nothing for the tall, lanky brunette standing in front of him. It was typical of him to go from lust to indifference in a short period of time, but rarely that quickly. "I said nothing to Chloe to jeopardize your relationship." He folded his hands on the desk, smirking.

Clark stomped his foot angrily, looking so much like a boy throwing a tantrum, that Lex had to bite back a laugh. "Did you tell her that she and I shouldn't go out since we're best friends?"

"Clark," Lex said calmly, avoiding the question, "the girl you've wanted since you were a zygote is single and wants you as well. Go get her."

Clark's blue eyes blinked, as the boy turned the information over in his mind. "Lana," he whispered, more to himself than to Lex. "But what about Chloe?" he asked out loud.

"I'll take care of Chloe." Lex made a swishing motion with one hand as the other picked up the phone. "Get out of here and get the girl."

Grinning, Clark bolted from the office.

Lex tapped out a number as a satisfied smirk filled his face. "Hello, I'd like to speak with Victoria Hardwick."

******

Chloe frowned up at her unexpected visitor, stepping onto the porch to join him. "What do you want, Lex?" She wrapped her arms around herself as a gust of wind whipped through her gray t-shirt.

"I want to get to know you, Chloe Sullivan. I want that very, very much," he whispered, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

The meaning behind his words hit her and she took a step back toward the door. "What about Clark?"

The smile turned into a full-fledged grin; the first one Lex had worn in as long as he could remember. "Let's just say Victoria won't be bothering me ever again."

Chloe let out a surprised shriek as she grasped what he was implying. "You mean, Clark finally got his dream girl? Wow." She moved closer. "I don't know how you do it, Lex Luthor. You're an enigma."

"Am I an enigma worth spending time with?" he teased, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

Shrugging, she took his hand. "That's what I plan to find out."

His free hand went to her cheek, and he smiled softly. "We can go as slowly as you need. And if you decide that you hate me, that's fine." Their noses touched.

She brushed his lips with hers. "I don't think I could ever hate you, Lex. After all, I know that you have great taste in guys. That's a plus." Her eyes twinkled.

"I think I have great taste in girls, too," he returned slyly.

Wrinkling her nose, she grinned. "Whatever. The sooner you kiss me, the sooner I can decide if I you're worth my time."

Without another word, he gave Chloe her second kiss.

As for Victoria, she returned to Smallville the next day. The details of her visit can be found in the *Inquisitor* and Lionel Luthor's personal photo collection.

FINIS

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