Takeo – We like to rant ‘cause ranting is good. Welcome to the Kongo show! (Camera backs up and Shuu runs on stage.)

Shuu – Hi everyone and welcome to, the complete madness of YST!

< Clapping, mad clapping>

Shuu - Yes, welcome and good evening. My name’s Shuu Rei Fuan, but call me Shuu.

Shuu- Tonight, we shall interview one of the few fic writers out there who has a shrine to me, and writes stories that aren’t Mary Sues!

Audience – ^_^;; What’s a Mary Sue?

Shuu – Takeo, come on out and answer the question!

< Girl of medium height steps on stage in flared blue jeans and a white collared shirt. She is escorted by someone in purple as well with purple wings holding a staff>

Takeo – I’m Takeo!

Shuu – Here she is folks, now Lady, what’s a Mary Sue?

Takeo – According to a reliable source, that’s you kouchan, in Mary Sue’s the fic writer puts herself in the fic as probably what she’s always dreamed of being. Then she writes a story around her and basically, whoever is her favourite trooper gets to screw her silly. This also applies to the mashos as well.

Shuu- Nicely done. I have one more question. Why did you make a shrine to me?

Takeo – ‘cause you’re strong, you’re cute and sexy, you eat a lot, you’ve got the armour of Kongo, and come on, Gen Tassai (Iron Rock Crusher) , is such a cool attack. (glomps Shuu again)

Shuu – Ok, and who’s that? (gestures to winged angel)

Audience – Yeah, who is she?

Nemi – Silence mortals! (Audience grows quiet)

Takeo – Oi. That’s Nemesis, Nemi for short. She’s a demigoddess from my original fic Nemesis the Dark Avenger, Isn’t she cool?

Audience – (monotone) yes, she is cool. (Nemesis smirks)

Takeo – 0.o Stop that Nemi. Well gotta go Shu-baby, see ya around! (The two girls disappear and the camera goes to a commercial)

% Are you tired of being treated like a garbage disposal? %

Touma is sitting on the table and Seiji, Ryo and Shin are emptying food down Touma’s throat.

% Call 1 800 REVENGE to get your sweet sweet revenge %

Touma is sitting at the table again; Seiji, Ryo and Shin are tied to a meteor courtesy of Tenku’s flight abilities and special skill of communicating with space. Shuu walks in and is glomped by Touma who switches on the TV and shows the three troopers flying past the Milky Way screaming.

%Remember, you have to look good for you koi you know…%

Shuu – We’re back and my next guest is Rajura also know as Dais, the bleach head.

Audience – O.o

Shuu – Ok. ^_^;; So Rajura, what’s up with you torturing me?

Rajura – (stands up and faces audience, his eye shinning, dramatic music starts playing) How can I not? All I wanted was for us to be together, me, on top of you, doing the horizontal tango! But you refused me, because I was evil. I’m no longer evil and yet you never return my calls. I’m pretty, I’m mature and single, is it because of my eye that you don’t want me?

Shuu – (falls on his side ^_^;;;) Rajura, it’s not your eye.

Touma – Damn right it’s not! (Audience is chanting "Touma, Touma" more catcalls as he walks on stage, very pissed)

Rajura – Touma no Tenku? What’s this?

Touma – Shuu’s mine. My boyfriend, my koi comprendez?

Rajura – That can’t be. You rejected me for some boy?

Shuu - ^_^;;; Ummh, Rajura, I love him.

Audience – Ahhh…

Rajura – what’s love got to do with it?

$ Voice from above: snickers: $

Touma – A lot. Besides, you have Shuten.

Shuten – (looks up and walks unto the stage, fuming. More catcalls. Several people have rushed to the hospital and diagnosed with "Bishounen Fever") Look here Touma, I am not with Rajura. He's creepy. I much rather prefer Naaza. Green hair is such a turn on for me.

Shuu – Come on out Naaza.

$ Oh, sexy bad guy $

Naaza – You’re all a bunch of fools to think that Rajura is with Shuten. Anubis is obsessed with Rajura. (he promptly walks out dragging Shuten with him)

Anubis- Damn right he is. (All the lights go off and come on. Rajura is gone.)

Touma – 0.o Well that’s settled. Bye Shu-chan, I’ll be waiting for you. (Touma kisses Shuu and walks out. Shuu picks up a medicine ball and throws it into the audience. All fainted people are up. One look at Shuu and they’ll all down again, including 5 extra people. Shuu shrugs and camera goes to a commercial.)

% Are you tired of being paired up with a crazed person? %

Shot of WuFei being paired with Relena

WuFei – NATAKU!

Shot of Heero being paired with Relena.

Heero – OMAE O KOROSU.

Shot of Shuu being paired with Nasuti

Shuu – WHAT THE *beep*?

%Oh, bad Shuu. Oh, yeah. Call our hotline, 1 800 DESTROY. We’ll take care of those nuisances that won’t go away. %

(Returns back to the show.)

Shuu - ^_^;; Strange. Anyway, my next guest is Ryo no Rekka!

Ryo – (steps out and sits. His fidgeting) Hi.

Shuu – Are you all right?

Ryo – Seiji’s after me, you gotta hid me. (Seiji runs out)

Seiji – Found you Ryo. Can’t you handle my love for you?

Ryo – Pah! Love? Bondage and whipping to make me submit is not love, especially when you’re crying out another person’s name when you come!

Shin - I’ll save you! (Shin runs out on stage)

$Poke mon mon. o.0$

Seiji – You love Ryo?

Shin – Of course I do. Fire and water go so well together.

Shuu- Yeah, fire evaporates water, and water puts out fire. Or rather, you just make steam.(Ryo jumps into Shin’s arms.)

Ryo – Take me away. And watch out Shuu. (Shin picks up Ryo and leaves)

Shuu – What did he mean by watch out. Aiie! Get off me!

Seiji – Never. (Seiji starts to straddle Shuu who’s screaming for help.)

Shuu – Touma, help me!

Seiji – Touma? Oh, I tied him up and he’s with Rajura.

Shuu – k’uso.

$Bad word, heehee. 1 million dollars! $

Nasuti – Get off him you sex fiend!

Shuu & Seiji –NASUTI?!

Nasuti – Where you expecting Captain Crunch?

Shuu – Actually, I was. ( Nasuti smacks forehead.)

Nasuti – Go Kayara! ( Kayara jumps out of nowhere and drags Seiji off Shuu. She drops Touma in Shuu’s laps then she and Nasuti disappear, Seiji screaming for help)

Touma – My poor baby…

Audience – Ahhh…

Shuu – I’m okay. Ack! Touma, what are you doing?

Touma – Rajura gave me a few pointers on how to make sweet love to you. Lesson One.

Till next time