Takeo – We like to rant ‘cause ranting is good. Welcome to the Kongo show! (Camera backs up and Shuu runs on stage.)

Shuu – Welcome to another episode of the Kongo show!

Audience – Shuu Rei, Shuu Rei, Shuu.

Shuu – Thanks. I trust that everyone has his or her lyrics. (Audience nods) Okay, sing!

Audience – Ramsey, the man of gods, the man of gods…

Shuu – Nice. For those of you who are just tuning in, what you just heard is a song, more like a chant from a show the producer likes called "Courage the Cowardly dog" This song was used to annoy Courage and his family. It’s from the episode when Courage’s family gets hold off a slab from the pharaoh Ramsey’s tomb, and it was a stone where three plagues were engraved on it. The chant just done by the audience was one of the plagues that Courage and his family suffered, but the producer found it entertaining.

$ Ramsey, the man of gods, the man of gods $

Shuu – Okay. Highlights from last weeks show. WuFei and Duo are seen at the club "Drunk off my Ass" a few days after the show, the whole GW crew following behind. Needless to say, by the end of the night, only Duo survived with WuFei in his arms, thanks to BabyDie cheese and of course, Shini the yoyo. All the women took up a different battle and only Sally Po and I think Lady Une where left standing. But anyone who stood behind Relena Peaceraft was unharmed, but that doesn’t count. My co-host today is the Lord of Venom, also known as Naaza or Sekhmet!

Sekhmet – Glad to be here. Today’s guests,

Shuu – The people of digimon!

Audience – Hey digimon, hey digimon, monster friends to the boys and girls, hey digimon, hey digimon, champions of the digital world.

Shuu – Let’s welcome Taichi a.k.a. Tai. And please as the guests arrive, chant you favorite digimon stage of the person’s digimon, as well as any characteristics of the person,

Audience – Leader, bossy, picking fight, War Greymon!

Taichi – (sits down) Hi everyone.

Shuu – Hello Taichi, and how are you?

Taichi – Great.

Naaza – Do you feel faint?

Taichi – I don’t think so.

Shuu – Ummh, Naaza, you can’t kill anyone.

Naaza – What kind of show is this? (walks off angrily) Cut to a commercial!

Shuu – Bye bye. Go to a commercial

% Is your world in peril? %

Shot of Jyou nodding, pointing to Yamato and Taichi fighting.

% Do you get frequent nosebleeds? %

Shot of Jyou watching Koushiro taking a bath. Promptly, sprouts of blood emerge.

% Then you need, Digichief, the latest in napkin security. One whiff from our specialized hanky and you won’t sprout a nosebleed even under dire circumstances for a whole week! %

Shot of Yamato, Taichi and Koushiro doing a very naughty dance with absolutely no clothes, let alone dignity. Jyou whips out Digichief, takes a whiff, and an image of Tentomon asking, " What are they doing to each other? Is that love?" Jyou laughs out loud and watches the entertainment.

% That’s right, Digichief ‘cause you DON’T want to explain the yaoi horizontal tango to a digimon who’s a bug %

Shuu - ^_^;; Okay Taichi. So what’s the story between you, Yamato and Sora?

Taichi – Well, I like Yamato, although he’s depressed most of the time. Sora won’t just mind her business, but she’s a good friend.

Shuu – Well then, let’s bring out the rest of the gang. Here’s Yamato, also known as Matt.

Audience – The depressed blond, the brother protector, Metal Garurumon! (Yamato sits down)

Shuu – Then there’s Sora, also known as, err, Sora.

Audience – The soccer one, the soccer one. Garudamon! (Sora sits down)

Shuu – Then Takeru a.k.a. TK.

Audience – Cute little boy, always crying, Angemon! (Takeru sits down)

Shuu – And Hikari a.k.a. Kari.

Audience – Smart little girl, caring little girl, Gatomon! (Hikari sits down)

Shuu - Here’s Mimi a.k.a., err, Mimi?

Audience – Airhead, airhead, clashing pink, err, Lillymon! (Mimi sits down)

Shuu – Koushiro a.k.a. Izzy.

Audience – Smarty and pretty red head, Kabuterimon! (Izzy sits down)

Shuu – And the favorite of the crowd, Jyou a.k.a. Joe

Audience – Reliable boy, blue hair, doesn’t want to be a doctor. Zudomon! (Jyou sits down.

Shuu - Commercial!

% Have you been nice to your koibito lately? %

Shot of Yamato and Taichi pummeling each other.

% Are you sick of your friends not figuring out their feelings for one another like you have? %

Shot of Jyou and Koushiro hugging one another, smiling all nice and happy. In the background, Yamato and Taichi are STILL fighting.

% Then call 1 800 EROSHOCK. Our little Eros will sprinkle a heavy dose of aphrodisiac on any two people and it's instant mayhem! We're talking an all nighter folks. This will allow for any true feelings to come to the surface. If there aren't any feelings, other than the pain in a certain someone's ass, then it was still a pretty good romp! %

Shuu - I swear, these commercials keep getting dumber by the week!

(Back in 5,4,3,2,1. Shuu composes himself and smiles)

Shuu – Nice to have you all on our show.

Takeru – Can Hikari and I go out and play?

Shuu – Umm, I’m not sure.

$ Let them play. They’re so cute ^_^ $

Shuu – The voice said you may go.

Hikari – Bye Tai!

Takeru – Bye Yamato! (They both leave smiling and laughing)

Shuu – Now that folks is one of the best non-yaoi couples that I’ve ever seen.

Audience – You got that right.

Shuu – Okay, as we were saying, I’m sure you all heard Tai’s comments.

Yamato – He’s so bossy. I can’t believe I actually like him. I would prefer Jyou because he’ll always listen to me whether I’m depressed on not. Taichi, you’re a jerk.

Sora – You can’t talk to Taichi like that. I love him.

Yamato – Then you’re dumber than I give you credit for. For Pete’s sake, Mimi loves you. Can’t you see now irresponsible and ditzy she was until she met you?

Mimi – Why does everyone keep saying that! (Awful crying starts. Audience members wisely block their ears)

< Sora runs over to Mimi to comfort her. >

Sora – There there Mimi, I’m sure you’ll grow out of it.

Jyou – I think that this display is sufficient proof enough.

Shuu – I agree. Koushiro, do you have anything to say?

Koushiro – Just want everyone to know that I love Jyou and there’s proof.

Yamato – Excuse me?

Jyou – What Koushiro is saying is true. You and Taichi have gotten on each other's nerves so much because you’re both stubborn and won’t acknowledge your secret feelings. That’s why you spend your time fighting because you’re in denial.

Taichi – But he called me a jerk.

Yamato – So? You are at times, well most times. You almost killed all us because you couldn’t understand Agumon. Remember? He digivolved into Skull Greymon. That was pure stupidity.

Taichi – (seething with anger) I’ll show you.

Audience - ^o^;;

Shuu – Well Jyou and Koushiro what proof is there of your relationship?

Koushiro – For one, we don’t fight and we get along pretty well.

Jyou – The best example would be when Piedmon went after us. Koushiro was crying for me because I sacrificed my life to save his. Even though Piedmon still got us, we were captured together, same thing for Yamato and Taichi. And besides, I love Koushiro and I won’t want to offend him in any way.

Audience – Awhhhh...

Koushiro – You mean it? (starry eyed)

Jyou – Of course I do. I, I even got these roses for you.

$ Sweetness alert, sweetness alert! Oi! $

Audience – Ramsey, the man of gods, the man of gods!

Shuu – (shakes himself out of trance) Thank you very much. You guys can go backstage. We have a limo waiting for you to take you to all the fanciest restaurants in the world. Bye bye now.

< Jyou and Koushiro skip off, little hearts intoxicating the air. Many of the audience members being to remember their true love and start crying>

$ Oh, lemon! $

< Audience promptly wakes up and sees Yamato and Taichi undressing each other, really fast. Several nose bleeds, but those are stopped thanks to Digichiefs. Buy a pack today! >

Shuu - Ok, it seems that we've run out of time. Next week on the Kongo Show, we'll meet the people who inspired Digimon to take root, Pokemon!

Audience - Pokemonmon!

$ Cut! $

Shuu - Okay everyone, go home, unless you fic writers out there care to describe the action going on back there. I'm going home.

Stay Tuned