stuart enters...

dominic. enters...

[nme] enters...

[nme] linus snellman - who are your guitar heroes ?

stuart - jimi hendrix,robert smith,nick drake,and poison ivy

dominic. - alex from neds

[nme] laddy - "out of all your releases what s been your favourite song sleeve gig and mix " ( )

stuart - helicon 1,fuck the curfew,copenhagen last week,surgeons satan

dominic. - small children,ftc,asoria (with pvement),max tundra

[nme] nuno proenca - have you felt much prejudice against you for not being a "vocal" band?

stuart - not really.

[nme] dave - "how different is the new album to the first 2?

stuart - it is a lot better.more consistent and subtle.

[nme] chris - "what was your favourite show whilst supporting the manics?

stuart - stoke or the one in wales were both tremendous .

[nme] - why the one is wales

stuart - the kids were very hostile which inspired us to rock.

[nme] laddy - i leave school in may, can i join the band?

stuart - can you play?

dominic. - can you fuck!

[nme] dave - rangers or celtic?

stuart - glasgow celtic champions of scotland.

[nme] regi_blinker - "what is the stupidest thing someone has ever done at one of your shows?

stuart - people were shagging three rows from the front at the astoria.

[nme] dave - "what inspired the video for x-mas steps?

stuart - it was brian griffin who came up with the idea.it's a kind of dark ages meets technology concept (i think).

[nme] stereoandee - "stu - why the bald head? "

stuart - cause i have no hair.

[nme] lucie moore - if you woke up one morning and discovered you were a frog what would you do?

stuart - go for a swim.do you work for melody maker?

[nme] - oi no mention of that lot

[nme] brian garthwaite - on young team, the song tracy what's the conversation going on in the background?

stuart - it is a conversation between martin and colin (our manager) about some inter band violence.

[nme] - what kind of violence

stuart - a punch in the face.ask no more.

[nme] big_muff - "would you get steve albini to produce one of your albums? "

stuart - we have thought about it.he recorded the new low lp which is tremendous.

[nme] seagreen1 - "last night i dreamt i was playing the bass for mogwai fear satan in front of thousands of people and

[nme] - ..the stadium was empty has that happen to you?

stuart - the quietest gig we ever did was in malmo.20 people in a 600 capacity venue.

[nme] dallandra - "do you play risk? if so what colour army do you prefer? "

stuart - no we don't.we play zelda.

[nme] crackedangel - "would you support the rolling stones if they offered you 20million "

stuart - of course,even they are and always have been fucking shite.

[nme] norwegian_psychonaut - "mogwai - do you remember the time when you learn't how to pull condoms through your noses ?? "

stuart - thank you paul.

[nme] burro - "what do you really think of the manics though? "

stuart - i think they are ok.nick is a fine man.

[nme] crackedangel - "would you sleep with me to further you career?

stuart - how would it further our career.i suppose getting chucked would give me more time to practice.

[nme] killtaker - "were you on e at the astoria show? "

stuart - no we weren't on e.apart from john.he loves his vitamins.

[nme] bert - "are godspeed you black emperor! shite or catharsis? "

stuart - godspeed are tremendous.

[nme] - what did you tell mark morriss of the bluetones when you spoke to him at the nme aftershow?

stuart - i said that he was looking good.he was wearing a sharp suit.

[nme] scottie_b. - "you might like to know that the guy next to me fainted at the astoria show. "

stuart - cheers.

[nme] daniel - "saw you supprting manics in chester. i thought you were pretty dull. why is there no singer? do you always

stuart - listen you cretinous cunt.do you work for melody maker.you wank hawk.

[nme] regi_blinker - "fave jesus and mary chain song of all time? "

stuart - upside down/everything's alright when your down

[nme] roosta - "would you ever want to go on top of the pops ? "

stuart - of course.although it would help were we to release a single.

[nme] bungle - "who is the bloke speaking on 'i don't know what to say'? i think it might be my dad. "

stuart - it is the relic.

[nme] phil mannion - if you could only have rn bru, buckfast wine or kappa clothing for the rest of your life, which would it be?

stuart - irn bru.drink of the gods.

dominic. - buckfast drink of the tinks.

[nme] devlin - "stuart -- nice hat. "

stuart - why thanks.

[nme] trotsky - "would you ever wish to collaborate with primal scream? "

stuart - that would be tremendous.i love the scream.

[nme] muso - "i like th use of diminished 9th chords in your music "

stuart - we don't play chords.

[nme] dallandra - "please don't use the c*** word, that's just ignorant and bad manners. "

stuart - fuck off you cunting cunt hawk.

[nme] rednight - "i recorded a song called "mogwai are sponsored by kappa". will you sue me? "

stuart - is it a good song?if its shit we probably will.

[nme] candlelight - "are you good friends with arab strap? "

stuart - i like the strap boys.even though they nick our tunes,corrupt my bird,never wash,and steal hub caps

[nme] maggot_hell_wigs - "my bloody valentine or slint? who are better in your opinion? "

stuart - i like them both.mbv were tremendous live and spiderland is a classic.

[nme] uaj_439 - "have any major labels tried to tempt you away from chemikal, like arab strap? "

stuart - the majors are always snoffing about.we'll accept offers of over £1000000 only.

[nme] dallandra - "did you know that every 13 year old in south east londion wears kappa? that's your level

stuart - what's wrong with 13 year olds.you snobby cunt.

[nme] moikai - "is it true that you had a fight with placebo?

stuart - no it's not.we just disagreed about a friend of brians.

[nme] satan - "are stuart and dom aware that dallandra is a sad goth? "

stuart - being a goth is not sad.sportsgoths are even better.

[nme] chronic - "cheese on toast or beans on toast? "

stuart - my personal favourite is cheese and beans on toast.

[nme] boden - "would you collaborate with steps for £1,000,000? "

stuart - no chance.they are musical rapists.

[nme] american - "are you guys going to play glastonbury this year? "

stuart - yes.we are headlining the second stage on sunday.tell your friends.

[nme] andy - "what is brendan o'hare doing? "

stuart - he is happily married.

[nme] katmando - "who cares about glastonbury, are you playing t in the park? "

stuart - t in the park is likely but not confirmed.

[nme] colinhardie - "would you rather spend an evening with mansun, hanson or wim jansen? "

stuart - wim.mansun deserve derision and death.hanson need their baws to drop.

[nme] regi_blinker - "who cares about t-in the park..are you playing my wedding? "

stuart - do you hate your relatives that much?

[nme] candlelight - "do you really believe puff daddy is the antichrist? "

stuart - he is the son of lucifer.the dark prince.bring me the knives.

[nme] factory_girl - "why do mansun deserve derision? don't you feel affinity with them and the other nme bands? "

stuart - i think that mansun are brutally mediocre.their artwork looks like marillion they have pish guitar solos and look like a bunch of fannies.sorry chad.

[nme] monkey_boy - "you sick of people saying you are slint rip offs. does the truth hurt? "

stuart - do you really think we sound like slint?have you ever heard them or are you just a student wank trying to come wide.it seems strange that you have this opinion but none of slint do.arse piece.

[nme] black_rose - "that is a reeeally bad photo, fellas....

[nme] katmando - "do you think jason pierce has a mullet? "

stuart - jason has a mullet.sonic has a bowl cut.i prefer bowlies.

[nme] henry - "are you just jealous of devotion mansun receive from their hourdes of fans "

stuart - am i fuck.i wonder how busy it is when mansun play america.

[nme] kok - "what's the best song on c.o.d.y.? "

stuart - may nothing but happiness come through your door.

[nme] henry - "but mansun speak to the kids..mogwai are just white noise? "

stuart - all relationships are empty.what the fuck does that say to anyone.6th form poetry.i think the kids could do with a bit of white noise don't you think.

[nme] factory_girl - "did ac acoustics inspire you to form the band like they claim? "

stuart - no they didn't.paul did inspire me however to think before i open my mouth.

[nme] grant - "do you think computers stop people from really communicating? "

stuart - not at all.i comunicate now with my computer more than i ever have before.

[nme] cable_hogue - "could you take mansun if it came to a fight? "

stuart - our drummer wee martin is fucking mental.why would we want to fight them?i'm pals with loads of bands that i don't listen to.

[nme] ekok - "yerself is steam or deserter's songs?? "

stuart - yerself is steam.

[nme] cartman - "who's the shady geezer next to you? "

dominic. - thats me by the way

[nme] chris stokes - who's better america's sonic youth or britain's my bloody valentine?

dominic. - i cant answer questions like that.

[nme] chris morris - do you think that if you played ten rapid to a new born baby 24 hours a day it would grow another limb?

stuart - our friend john delf's baby dances to "satan"no extra limbs have been reported as yet.

[nme] bez - "what do you think of ian brown/unkle single!!! "

stuart - not very much.i think that the unkle lp is very souless.

[nme] andy - "the running time of "kicking a dead pig" is 66:06. who's idea? "

stuart - i've never noticed that.the forces of pure evil at play.

[nme] uaj_439 - "my drummer reversed into your van outside mcm once. sorry. "

stuart - it was probably the c.u. van.

[nme] pazzerelli - "should zoe ball be left in a room to fester? "

stuart - i'm never awake in time to be upset by ms ball.is her show really bad?i detest that cunt chris moyles with a passion.

[nme] monkey_boy - "ever touched the ozone layer? no seriously have you? "

stuart - i really don't know what you're on about.are you a hippie?as a punk i stand against you morally.

[nme] jonny_greenwood - "pazzerelli>>what do you think of radiohead?? "

stuart - johnny greenwood is an amazing guitar player.thom should cheer up,have a laugh.

[nme] stereoandee - "is the vodka tampons story true? "

stuart - no it isn't.we told a guy about this phenomonen and he wrote that it was us that did it.we wouldn't be so vulgar.

[nme] dave - "are you a fan of death metal "

stuart - i prefer black metal actually.young men with a good attitude towards life and religion.are you there mr grishnakk

[nme] cartman - "have you ever been on the thunder looper in strathclyde park? was it scary? "

stuart - the big wheel is a personal favourite of mine.the all night asda is fast becoming my new top night spot.

[nme] andy - "how do you think about bell & sebatian? "

stuart - i like those young scamps.wee stuartie has a good ear for a tune.

[nme] cider - "oasis, rock visionaries or in need of a hard slap? "

stuart - oasis are the best of a pretty lame bunch.they've let it slip a bit lately though don't you think.

[nme] weirdo - "what do you think of blur's new single? "

stuart - i think it's mince.a piss poor spiritualised pastiche.grahams cheeky chords sound woefully out of place.

[nme] cu_office_monkey - "when do you plan to wash next? "

stuart - i am recently cleansed you cheeky fucker.graham,andy,do-gooders .you are all fucking sacked.

[nme] adam browning - why the hell the uncle fester look?

stuart - why not.

[nme] clark taylor - why do you let aidan moffat sing over some of your songs, he clearly can't sing?

stuart - aiden is one of the best singers in the world you ignorant fucker.just cause he doesn't put on a stupid cockney accent.

[nme] oliver james heppell - how do you rate the beta band's chances, with their forthcoming lp

stuart - i'm not that into the beta band.their gig in glasgow was the only gig i can remember ever walking out of.i'm sure the kids will fall for it hook line and sinker as usual.

[nme] cu_office_monkey - "what do you mean cleansed? you are still wearing the same clothes you had on last week

[nme] bez - "happy mondays reform what dya think?

stuart - i love the mondays.i can't wait to see what kind of nick their all in.bez is a hero.

[nme] monkey_boy - "fugazi fan? "

dominic. - fugazi are my favorite band in the world ever.

[nme] roosta - "who is the best band of the last 10 years or so ? "

stuart - low and labradford are the best if you ask me.

[nme] dave - "would you write a song for boyzone for all the ganja in the world. "

stuart - i don't smoke.boyzone however could do with the help.

[nme] dave - "seen as im the only irish person here, can i get a free pass to the dublin gig in march>??? "

stuart - no.only if you bring us a bag of tatties.

[nme] ekok - "what's with the glasgow gang fascination? "

stuart - after years of trying to avoid getting our cunts kicked in we developed a twisted fascination with hooligans.

stuart - can the guy who keeps asking about cha cha cohen please fuck off.

stuart - we're away for dinner now.thanks for asking stuff.please buy our album.cheers.plasmatron xxxxxxxx

dominic. - i enjoyed answering two questions .cheers see ya.

[nme] - thanks to mogwai for everything - the transcript will be up soon. anthony

[nme] leaves...

stuart leaves...